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[Jungian Cognitive Functions] How Do You Stop a Cognitive Overload Steamroller?

MoneyTick

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May 21, 2010
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252
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ENTJ
In every public situation, even in the absence of alcohol, I fire-hose down people with talk at 5,000 RPM.

I cannot stop speed-talking and I can jabber on for hours.

Consider a few nights ago whilst bar-hopping in lower Manhattan: my unique dialogue (or should I say monologue) had apparently magnetized every woman to me within earshot of my jabber only to observe them withdraw, inflicted with a syndrome of cognitive dissonance.

People don't find me annoying because my "drunken dialogue" actually has some substance, and I speak of relevant events and phenomenon that people are interested in. I've been told that I'm very entertaining and stimulating, however, my intensity of expression coupled with my speedy turbo-talk just takes it overboard.

Is it normal for ENTJs to dump information all over the place like a backhoe?

I mean, I just can't stop talking. To slow down my sentences and make them more generic would be to force myself to act unnaturally.

The other night, a few MILFs I was hitting on thankfully expressed their critique of my bar etiquette and personality (of which was well-received). They told me that I was probably the smartest person they've met to date, and made it to the top of their funny list - but overall, I had an extremely intense character which was just way too much.

Women will tell me point blank: "I can't handle you at all" or "You are [insert compliments], but my brain has gone into OVERLOAD."

My verbal transmission is apparently flawed at every gear. At first I come off as intense and captivating, but then as I try to smooth things out I become way too sporadic and superficial.

They say I'm a colorful character with distinguished finesse of stellar charm and a non-generic vocabulary, but I end up just "overloading" people (women in particular).

As a matter of fact, the only women that can handle me are Asians.

As a white male in my mid-twenties, the only form of love or affection I have experienced came from Asian girls. I really do love their company, they're cute, and most of them can (with pleasure) entertain my deep intellectual conversations with a casual twist for HOURS. My intuition tells me that I'll probably end up marrying somebody Asian (whether Chinese, Japanese, Korean, etc...).

I talk extremely fast with articulacy, however, at the end of the night women just tell me I did a good job of overloading them to the brink of cognitive dissonance.

Is it my Achilles Heel, or a figment of my imagination?

Should I just try to be the generic male who keeps it simple? ...

Or spin those webs of artful dialogue?

The only problem is that I CAN'T keep it simple. It's unnatural for me, and I won't be acting 'myself.'

And yes, I do humble myself. I ask tons of questions and yield to others' comments and opinions with reverence. I have the utmost respect for women, have never touched anyone inappropriately, and give out many complements. I make sure it's stays a two way street, and I'm always eager to showcase others in a positive light.

It all comes down to this: I turn heads and captivate, but at the end of the day I'm a women deterrent.
 
T

ThatGirl

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I can't stand people who speak the way you're describing. It is actually offensive to the personal bubble.
 

Red Herring

Superwoman
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Jun 9, 2010
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Have you tried reducing the speed of delivery without compromising the content?
I deal with a somewhat similar problem (though I'm much less outgoing than you seem to be) and have been adviced by a professional to simply make a conscious effort to talk more slowly. That alone will make it easier for others to follow your train of thoughts. And - added bonus - it might help you think just the slightest bit more slowly and thus in a more structured and coherent manner...a win-win situation.
 

mrcockburn

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Te = Conciseness. Ne = what you're describing and the way you're describing it.

Sure you're not ENTP? ;)
 

DiscoBiscuit

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I mean, I just can't stop talking. To slow down my sentences and make them more generic would be to force myself to act unnaturally.

Of course you can. You'd just prefer everyone else adapt to you.

It's not gonna happen. Social graces are something everyone has to learn sooner or later.

You have to learn to let other people talk and share the spotlight.
 

Thalassa

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Yeah you could be an ENTJ in a Te/Se loop making you seem more ESTP. Or vice versa (you could be an ESTP who thinks you're ENTJ for some reason this happens a bunch).

I do the speed talking thing, too. I yammer. I've had people tell me that I'm talking too fast, or too loud, or that I'm just TOO SOMETHING.

But even then, people like you exhaust me. I need alone time. I shut up for long stretches of time before the yammering begins again.

I know a woman who is an unhealthy ENTJ (I think) and she never stops talking. She's also uber-invasive. I seriously want to put trazodone in a stun gun and have her sleep for a few days.
 

Thalassa

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Also, it doesn't sound so much like you're spinning artful webs of dialogue but just inflicting yourself on others. What you're doing sounds narcissistic and invasive, like you're just ... self-absorbed.

Te = Conciseness. Ne = what you're describing and the way you're describing it.

Sure you're not ENTP? ;)

I think he's definitely either ENTJ or ESTP from what he's describing.
 

mrcockburn

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And I'm no doctor, and don't take this the wrong way - but have you ever looked into the possibility of Asperger's Syndrome? Aspies are infamous for assaulting people with long-winded pedantic monologues, about their own (often intellectual) interests.

Then you say that these girls make these comments to your face, but make no mention of their body language. Asperger trait. Because usually people *show* their boredom/disinterest LONG before they actually directly express their dissatisfaction. So it sounds like you're missing the cues.

And then you mention that you don't touch people inappropriately. That should be a given - the fact that you go out your way to point that out suggests that it's a social "rule" you feel the need to remember consciously. Aspergers. Most people just intuitively know these things.

Not to offend by any means, but it can't hurt to look into it.
 
R

RDF

Guest
In every public situation, even in the absence of alcohol, I fire-hose down people with talk at 5,000 RPM. [...]

The "Golden Rule" in social conversation is: You talk 50% of the time, and the other person talks 50% of the time. If the other person is reticent and doesn’t talk much, then you use part of your 50% to draw them out: ask questions about the other person and/or ask for them to expand on what they’ve said.

As for you: It sounds like you have good talking skills but bad listening skills.

Think of yourself as a salesman selling a product. The product is you. So what does a good salesman do? According to a book on selling and salesmen that I was reading (“The Sales Bible”, by Jeffrey Gitomer), arguably the most important thing a salesman does is to listen to the customer: Hear his needs, listen to his objections, etc.

The book had much to say on the subject of listening. I took a few notes:

--Avoid all distractions. Change locations to listen better. Turn off the cell and pager. Close the door. Clear your mind and both sit or both stand in close proximity.
--Don’t interrupt
--Prejudice will distort what you hear. Listen without prejudging
--Don’t jump to answer before hearing the entire situation
--Look right at the person you’re listening to.
--Use eye contact and listening noises (gee, I see, oh, wow, then what, really, that’s terrible, great, I didn’t know that, I see) to show the other person that you are listening.
--Listen for purpose, details, and conclusions.
--Focus on the words and their meaning.
--Active listening involves interpreting. Interpret quietly or take notes.
--Listen to what is not said. What is implied is often more important than what is spoken. Tone of speech will often reflect implied meaning.
--Think between sentences and during quiet times.
--Digest what is said (and not said) before engaging your mouth.
--Visualize the situation being described to you.
--Ask questions, then be quiet. Concentrate on the other person’s answers, not your thoughts.
--Ask questions to show interest or concern.
--Ask questions to be sure you understood what was said or meant.
--Ask questions to get more info or learn.
--Ask questions to be sure the speaker said all he or she wanted to say.
--Demonstrate that you are listening by taking action.
--Visualize your response or solution before responding.
--If you are thinking during speaking, then think solution. Don’t embellish the problem.
--Write things down as others are speaking. Jot down a word rather than interrupt the other persons train of thought: a) to keep the thought, b) to impress the other person, c) to be polite, d) to keep listening instead of interrupting.
--Verify the situation (as needed) before giving feedback.
--Qualify the situation with questions before giving feedback or responding.
--Don’t interrupt just because you think you know the answer

****
There was much more. But you get the idea, hopefully.

Take one of the above items each week and practice it exclusively. Work on your “salesmanship” skills. The product is you; you should care about how well you’re selling it.
 

Santosha

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I don't think this is type related, because I have seen exactly what your describing in my ENFP buddy. It becomes much worse as he drinks. It's like he lack awareness of where he is in space and time, he has no sense of natural energy exchange. I went to Vegas with him a while back and made the mistake of sharing a suite. After being up for 36 hours I was done. He couldn't stop bloviating on about anything and everything, rappidly connecting idea to idea, it was unlike anything I've seen in people before. An Ne ganked out coke binge wouldn't hold a candle. At first i felt terrible for him, as the group we were with initially found him comical and interesting, but then became very drained. I have no idea how this problem would come about, but I suspect it involves self absorption to the point that you are incapeable of picking up social, environment, and intra personal queues. Just a complete lack of awareness stemming from an inability to comprehend the value of non-verbal, observational knowledge?

Anyhow, good luck!
 
R

ReflecTcelfeR

Guest
Introvert. Forcibly cut yourself from your environment and train yourself to pluck out your introverted functions. Dwell on yourself more, but don't talk about it, just think about yourself. Keep yourself away from your environment even if others start to get worried. It's for your own good, truly.
 

violet_crown

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Jun 18, 2009
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Is it normal for ENTJs to dump information all over the place like a backhoe?

No.

Is it my Achilles Heel, or a figment of my imagination?

Should I just try to be the generic male who keeps it simple? ...

Or spin those webs of artful dialogue?

The only problem is that I CAN'T keep it simple. It's unnatural for me, and I won't be acting 'myself.'
...
It all comes down to this: I turn heads and captivate, but at the end of the day I'm a women deterrent.

I dont think there is necessarily a conflict between your desire to be expressive and your desire to be liked as long as you are attentive to your audience. Pay attention to how the person you are interacting with is responding to you, and if the signals are indicating that you're "overloading" them you should back off. I'm not expressive in the way that you are describing, but I've a fairly strong personality. I have had to learn to be disciplined in how I interact with people because if I were as intense as I wanted to be/am naturally others would find it off-putting, and I would be less effective in dealing with them. It takes time to learn.[MENTION=204]FineLine[/MENTION] posted some good tips that you could start with. You might take those into consideration as well.
 

rav3n

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If you want to have intellectual discussions, what makes you think that barflies are the best ones to have these types of discussions with?
 

MoneyTick

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May 21, 2010
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ENTJ
I don't think this is type related, because I have seen exactly what your describing in my ENFP buddy. It becomes much worse as he drinks. It's like he lack awareness of where he is in space and time, he has no sense of natural energy exchange. I went to Vegas with him a while back and made the mistake of sharing a suite. After being up for 36 hours I was done. He couldn't stop bloviating on about anything and everything, rappidly connecting idea to idea, it was unlike anything I've seen in people before. An Ne ganked out coke binge wouldn't hold a candle. At first i felt terrible for him, as the group we were with initially found him comical and interesting, but then became very drained. I have no idea how this problem would come about, but I suspect it involves self absorption to the point that you are incapeable of picking up social, environment, and intra personal queues. Just a complete lack of awareness stemming from an inability to comprehend the value of non-verbal, observational knowledge?

Anyhow, good luck!

You're ENFP buddy must be my distant cousin of mine.

I've realized that I need to start channeling my social energy outwards more, and begin crafting a theme predicated on the object of my conversation as opposed to showcasing myself. Yet, I must say "connecting idea to idea" is my line of crack.


as the group we were with initially found him comical and interesting, but then became very drained.

Yes, "drained" is the best descriptor of the end-vibe when I'm in the equation. I get too carried away and don't know how to stop at the thresholds of social etiquette.

Of course you can. You'd just prefer everyone else adapt to you.
It's not gonna happen. Social graces are something everyone has to learn sooner or later.
You have to learn to let other people talk and share the spotlight.

I'll honor your warrant for saying so, and I'm going to take a more humble approach at my next venue and use the pause button more frequently.

Anyhow, do the particulars of my circumstances jive with that of a different personality type? In a corporate setting or in modus operandi, there is no other type description that can fit me best except for ENTJ. When it's time to unleash, I'm a different breed.

So what really is the most credible metric for 'typology'? Specifically, does the description of my night-out conduct fall short of the primary qualifications for the ENTJ type?

Based on your anecdotal observations, what other types could be the template for my behavior?
 
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