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[NT] Why is it so hard for Me to stop focusing on Myself?

The Ü™

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I've been told by a few that I'm obsessed with Myself, and I can't say that I disagree, and I'm not sure if it's a bad thing to be self-obsessed, but it does seem to affect My relationships with others.

I don't understand why I can't stop focusing on Myself or why I can't pay attention to content that isn't about Me or can't somehow be directed to Me. I will admit, it does get tiresome, but I can't really help it. And I also can't understand why I'm unappreciated and uninteresting to others and moreover, how self-absorption relates to it.

So I ask: Why?
 

wolfy

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I don't know, I'm a bit iffy on whether starting a thread on it is a step in the right direction.
 

Rail Tracer

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Start talking about others without talking about yourself? :D

Avoid using first person?
 

The Ü™

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I'll come back when more serious, logically sound responses come in.
 

miss fortune

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obviously you haven't run across any really INTERESTING gossip yet in your life :devil:
 

Rail Tracer

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I'll come back when more serious, logically sound responses come in.

I don't know why you have a tendency to focus on yourself. If you really want to go the MBTI or enneagram route, it could be because your preferred function is an introverted one?

But really, in a conversation, try to focus the time more on the other person instead. Instead of having the person asking you questions for you to answer about yourself, ask that person questions instead. When you begin thinking that you are focusing your attention on yourself, redirect that attention to someone else.

Just give more of your attention to someone else.
 

The Ü™

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If I wanted to go into the MBTI/enneagram/zodiac route, I would've posted over there. This is a real psychology topic.

The problem is I have trouble being interested in others, but I want to be admired. I apparently can't make Myself seem interesting enough to do this. I've tried just about everything, and I just can't seem to master it.

I've been told by many that I'm very self-absorbed and that I'd be more interesting if I was interested in them, and to that I say that they are a bunch of hypocrites.
 

Rasofy

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I think this is insecurity. You could start by not taking yourself too seriously. Then, learn how to make fun of yourself. Then, learn how to make fun of other people. :D Easier said than done I guess. :thinking:
 

The Ü™

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I feel very secure with Myself, believe it or not. I'm relatively happy with Myself, but what makes Me angry is other people who don't give Me attention.
 

Rasofy

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You get the attention you want when you make things more about them and less about you. It's tricky.
 

Rasofy

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Well, then aren't they the self-absorbed ones?
Ultimately we are all self-absorbed, but it is usually not a good thing to demonstrate it directly. No social value for that trait. You just focus more on people and they focus more on you, and the cicle keeps going.
 

skylights

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maybe You're not paying them enough.
 

Qlip

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I think you are three more smiley faces away from being genuinely interesting. Ever think about changing your name to ÜÜÜÜ ? <-- It kinda looks like a happy barbershop quartet. Hello.. hello. hello.. helloooo,
 

Totenkindly

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I feel very secure with Myself, believe it or not. I'm relatively happy with Myself, but what makes Me angry is other people who don't give Me attention.

Well, if you want a serious, non-cuddly answer?

I usually don't read your posts anymore. Why? You seem to be begging for attention, not just with your posts but even with your presentation. Your original userid (uberfuhrer) was meant to get attention by trying to look cool (by referencing Hitler); and now "The U" with a foreign character simply comes across as pretentious. A lot of your posting style involves making edgy jokes, trying to one-up someone else, or show off how bad-ass you supposedly are -- it's all a "look at me, affirm me," strategy. I hate that crap.

I know I'd find you more interesting if you were interested in other people, asked them questions about their lives, shared experiences in your life that showed the ability to relate to them, etc. You don't seem particularly good at these things, if you even really care at all (I suspect you don't), and you probably don't HAVE a lot of life experiences yet that you can identify with others through, which is why you do what you do; but I think if you want to find acceptance, that's what you're going to have to work on. You can actually learn a lot of interesting things if you pay attention to others and stop trying to get them to focus on you. Maybe you can make a game of it -- finding out three new things about someone just by paying attention to their posts and asking them questions? Start small, build from there.

I'm not even sure this thread is not just another bid for attention. So far you're pretty much here just complaining about not getting attention and then accusing others of being self-absorbed by not giving a shit about your need for attention. But there you go. Maybe it'll be helpful to you, if you're serious about working on this.
 
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And I also can't understand why I'm unappreciated and uninteresting to others and moreover, how self-absorption relates to it.

This is the heart of your problem. Imagine if U met another U (heh.) If you met someone like yourself, and they were self-absorbed like you, would you not GTFO because they weren't paying enough attention to you? Same for anyone else. It's not that you're unappreciated and uninteresting to others. It's just that everyone wants to be appreciated, and if they're not getting give and take from you, but only take, they're gone. When people have a friendship with you, they want to be your peer, not your audience.
 
T

ThatGirl

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Depends, why are you interested in yourself and not others. What do you get from yourself, and not others?
 
A

A window to the soul

Guest
I'm not even sure this thread is not just another bid for attention. So far you're pretty much here just complaining about not getting attention and then accusing others of being self-absorbed by not giving a shit about your need for attention. But there you go. Maybe it'll be helpful to you, if you're serious about working on this.

Wow, I totally missed all of that. I've never noticed him before. Seriously.
 

rav3n

.
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Kind of reluctant to respond, since I'm uncertain if you're trolling everyone. If you're not trolling us and are serious, I don't have enough in me to fill up another's emptiness. It's the synergy within the interaction that energises.
 
A

A window to the soul

Guest
I've been told by a few that I'm obsessed with Myself, and I can't say that I disagree, and I'm not sure if it's a bad thing to be self-obsessed, but it does seem to affect My relationships with others.

I don't understand why I can't stop focusing on Myself or why I can't pay attention to content that isn't about Me or can't somehow be directed to Me. I will admit, it does get tiresome, but I can't really help it. And I also can't understand why I'm unappreciated and uninteresting to others and moreover, how self-absorption relates to it.

So I ask: Why?

:hug: <-- I don't know what else to do or say, you sound so pitiful. Are you thinking about hurting yourself?
 
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