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[INTJ] INTJs and seeking validation

ohd1122

New member
Joined
Feb 12, 2011
Messages
20
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7
This struck me as odd - my female INTJ coworker approached me the other day asking me why I never come to her asking for help (junior member on the team, only been here a few months). Adding to that, at times when she perceives me reacting negatively to something she says she says things like "you hate me", or "oh you didn't really want to talk to me did you?".

...Huh? :shock: I thought INTJs were essentially the last MBTI type to seek validation. What gives? The only thing I can think of is she interprets my lack of approach as an indication that she is not helpful. Perhaps she's trying to understand how she can improve?

Please help me understand, NTs of the world.
 

Xyk

New member
Joined
Mar 27, 2011
Messages
284
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5
Maybe she's not an INTJ, maybe the system is not perfect at describing entire individuals (shocker, right?), maybe what you said about improving, maybe everyone needs a little validation now and again, maybe she's just nervous because she's new, maybe she thinks she's doing something wrong because she's new, maybe she wants to get into your pants...
 
Joined
Sep 18, 2008
Messages
1,941
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
512
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
This struck me as odd - my female INTJ coworker approached me the other day asking me why I never come to her asking for help (junior member on the team, only been here a few months). Adding to that, at times when she perceives me reacting negatively to something she says she says things like "you hate me", or "oh you didn't really want to talk to me did you?".

...Huh? :shock: I thought INTJs were essentially the last MBTI type to seek validation. What gives? The only thing I can think of is she interprets my lack of approach as an indication that she is not helpful. Perhaps she's trying to understand how she can improve?

Please help me understand, NTs of the world.

If she's an INTJ, that's called "a sense of humour".
 

rav3n

.
Joined
Aug 6, 2010
Messages
11,655
Insecurity knows no MBTI boundaries and competence is very important to INTJs.
 

InvisibleJim

Permabanned
Joined
Nov 19, 2009
Messages
2,387
She's trying to be nice and welcoming but that is not a natural skill for us; usually we'll encourage you to discuss things in an inside out manner.
 

Xandford

New member
Joined
Aug 13, 2010
Messages
9
MBTI Type
INTJ
she's new and can't properly judge how well she's doing so she's looking for someone else to assess her. That's my guess from the information. Or maybe you hate her and didn't really want to talk to her and SHE CALLED YA ON YA BULLSHIT!
 

mrcockburn

Aquaria
Joined
Jan 3, 2010
Messages
1,896
MBTI Type
¥¤
Enneagram
3w4
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
No way is she an INTJ. Even if they're not serious, they would not even want to risk something like that being taken seriously. Try INFJ.
 
A

Anew Leaf

Guest
Is is common for people in the US to wear type badges?

I have a tattoo actually. But I had a really tough time figuring out my type on my own. So I had to have each prior inscription made into a chain of daisies to hide the incorrect typings.
 

InvisibleJim

Permabanned
Joined
Nov 19, 2009
Messages
2,387
I have a tattoo actually. But I had a really tough time figuring out my type on my own. So I had to have each prior inscription made into a chain of daisies to hide the incorrect typings.

The typology equivalent of tramp stamping? ;)
 
A

Anew Leaf

Guest
The typology equivalent of tramp stamping? ;)

Yes! I don't know if I am truly an INFP, but I am sticking with it for now. I have a total of 11 tattoos from MBTI. I am partially concerned that I will re-realize I am actually a type I had previously tattooed... and that would spell disaster in the shorthand form of ESTP or ENTJ or ISFP, etc.
 
T

ThatGirl

Guest
You're reacting badly? Maybe she is trying to help you out (get a girp) and you are pushing away her advances. At which point she is addressing the heart of the issu so you can both move on to something more productive.
 

Thalassa

Permabanned
Joined
May 3, 2009
Messages
25,183
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx
I have a tattoo actually. But I had a really tough time figuring out my type on my own. So I had to have each prior inscription made into a chain of daisies to hide the incorrect typings.

I was thinking of getting an entire back tat describing how I could be various types based upon various theories.

But it will be written in caligraphy and surrounded by images of cats hiding in flowering trees.

I really like to make a statement.
 

Thalassa

Permabanned
Joined
May 3, 2009
Messages
25,183
MBTI Type
ISFP
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6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx
You're reacting badly? Maybe she is trying to help you out (get a girp) and you are pushing away her advances. At which point she is addressing the heart of the issu so you can both move on to something more productive.

My first thought was "is she making these statements about hating her or not wanting to talk to her in a matter of fact way?" Maybe she thinks she's making a fairly neutral observation.

Or maybe she's whining.

INTJs do have tert Fi...
 

ohd1122

New member
Joined
Feb 12, 2011
Messages
20
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7
I would think it's more of a neutral observation...but why would an INTJ make such an observation? Seems weird that they would be fixated on an issue that doesn't necessarily have an effect on their day to day work.

In other INTJs I'm more personally acquainted with, I have observed more of a sense of nonchalance...kind of like "this person doesn't like me? That's unfortunate but oh well let's move on" vs. this.

Now, as many have pointed out, not all INTJs function exactly the same (in fact...none of them do). I'm just trying to understand this person, who happens to be an INTJ. I figured the sample set of other NTs on the board would have the best insight.

Also, I'm not even going to divulge where the ENFP stamp is placed :wink:
 
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