[MBTI General] INTJ/ISTJ Relationship Compatibility

[Malice]

Two close friends of mine have been in a relationship for over a year now. I love them both to pieces, they both say they are happy and in love but I find the mechanics of their relationship very confusing. I get that it's not really my business to understand because it's not my relationship, but I was hoping you guys might have a little bit of insight on the matter.

The ISTJ (male) of this relationship has confessed to me that when the two of them are alone the INTJ (female) acts quite different, but as soon as you throw anyone else into the mix they seem to bicker, a lot. Not serious bickering. More like children where one will meanly tease the other, the other will react, then they start play fighting. It's funny at first to witness, but grows exhausting over the course of the evening. As an ESFJ I read this kind of behaviour as destructive to the relationship. Things like name calling, picking on one another, put-downs etc. Don't sit well with me. But they are my friends, and I believe them when they say they're happy so I do my best to stay out of it. I just wish I could understand better.

Is this a type thing? Have any INTJs on this forum ever paired themselves with an ISTJ and had a similar outcome? Or is this something completely different? There's strangely not much on a quick google search about this relationship overview. Best I could find was a chart on Socionics.Com that listed this pairing as 'Comparative' but I'm more interested in your opinions.

Thanks

 

[InvisibleJim]

My brother is IxTJ, his wife is INTJ. They get on fine. It's a totally compatible pairing because both are generally very content types and if they share the same interests (in this case gaming 24/7) then the world is their oyster.

Fighting is rarely destructive to IxTJ relationships. In this case what you are seeing is the light form of IxTJ flirting/one-upmanship, how else do you think the turbo-introverts get themselves excited enough to jump into bed?

I highly recommend that you do stay out of it as that would indeed be destructive all round; if offered the choice between restraining their flirting or being elsewhere it would be a clear choice, elsewhere to flirt it is!

 

[Amargith]

I play the same game with my INTJ actualy. It's like putting on a little sketch for our friends, on the go. It's just a way to create some drama and have some fun for us, mentally crossing swords. Perhaps they're unaware of the fact that if you do it for a long time it can wear people out?

 

[Malice]

Perhaps they're unaware of the fact that if you do it for a long time it can wear people out?

Maybe. But I wouldn't have the heart to tell them. Lol, I love them as is and wouldn't want to change anything by accidentally implementing some 'this is how you should behave' nonsense into the mix. I just wanted to understand a bit better where the behaviour was coming from.

@ InvisibleJim: These two are also avid gamers.

 

[InvisibleJim]

@ InvisibleJim: These two are also avid gamers.

Of course. IxTJs always have impeccable taste.

 

[InvisibleJim]

Problem Solved?

 

[Malice]

Fighting is rarely destructive to IxTJ relationships. In this case what you are seeing is the light form of IxTJ flirting/one-upmanship, how else do you think the turbo-introverts get themselves excited enough to jump into bed?

I think this makes a lot of sense, yes

 

[sulfit]

Medium-level comfort relations, they are of same temperament so things can get boring, but often have similar lifestyles. These are Kindred Relations