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[MBTI General] I'm Not Good at Being a "Girl"

Hera

New member
Joined
Dec 27, 2010
Messages
304
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w6
p.s. curious - why do you have that super groomed/feminine avatar?

I'm a classic movie junkie and I love Judy Garland and Bette Davis, hence the Garland/Davis themes with my pics. I find them beautiful but different looking, their beauty is uniquely theirs and unlike other actors of their time. I admire the groomed feminine look -- without feeling like I can pull it off for myself.
 

rav3n

.
Joined
Aug 6, 2010
Messages
11,655
(Or I can stop caring and put up with the flack.)
This!

No one can define femininity for you unless you allow it. Conventional "wisdom" to offset conventional expectations. :)
 
A

Anew Leaf

Guest
This!

No one can define femininity for you unless you allow it. Conventional "wisdom" to offset conventional expectations. :)

exactly.

The best way to being "feminine" is to just be yourself. The reason I think some women are so beautiful/stunning is because they simply ARE whomever they are. My ENFJ friend is one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen, but the main reason she is so beautiful is because she exudes her essence with everyone. It merely enhances her natural, physical beauty all the more.

If doing the conventional cheerleader high school girl thing doesn't work for you, then don't do it. No biggie.

And in regards to makeup - the only way I have been able to "get into" the make up thing is to think of it like painting. :) Creativity I can do!

And in the immortal words of Marge Simpson's mother: "Remember, ladies pinch. Whores use rouge."
 

Nicodemus

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Joined
Aug 2, 2010
Messages
9,756
I'm a classic movie junkie and I love Judy Garland and Bette Davis, hence the Garland/Davis themes with my pics. I find them beautiful but different looking, their beauty is uniquely theirs and unlike other actors of their time. I admire the groomed feminine look -- without feeling like I can pull it off for myself.
In case you have not seen it, I recommend the Dick Cavett interview with Bette Davis (YouTube has it).
 

Mole

Permabanned
Joined
Mar 20, 2008
Messages
20,284
Saturnalia

exactly.

The best way to being "feminine" is to just be yourself. The reason I think some women are so beautiful/stunning is because they simply ARE whomever they are. My ENFJ friend is one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen, but the main reason she is so beautiful is because she exudes her essence with everyone. It merely enhances her natural, physical beauty all the more.

If doing the conventional cheerleader high school girl thing doesn't work for you, then don't do it. No biggie.

And in regards to makeup - the only way I have been able to "get into" the make up thing is to think of it like painting. :) Creativity I can do!

And in the immortal words of Marge Simpson's mother: "Remember, ladies pinch. Whores use rouge."

Dear Saturned, my sweet rabbit, one can see existential ugliness if one has the eye. But imagine you are ugly, and are supremely self confident, then you would use your ugliness like a movie. You would fascinate not only your audience but yourself as well.

And during your Saturnalia, all roles are reversed, and the beautiful become ugly and the ugly beautiful. Would you become ugly for me, dear rabbit? Would you put on the mask of ugliness and let your soul shine through?
 

You

New member
Joined
Jun 8, 2010
Messages
2,124
MBTI Type
entp
Enneagram
7w8
I admire the groomed feminine look -- without feeling like I can pull it off for myself.


tumblr_lga1ov4AyO1qbgyx2o1_500.gif
 

Coriolis

Si vis pacem, para bellum
Staff member
Joined
Apr 18, 2010
Messages
27,230
MBTI Type
INTJ
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5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I am biologically female, but I am hella awkward at being what people think that means.

I try to curl my hair and it comes out a mess, I try to apply my makeup but it looks caked-on and obvious, I try to giggle and I sound like I'm sneezing or horking, I try to apply self-tanner and I look like a patchy crocodile... I'm just not good at being conventionally pretty, a conventional girl. I don't know why I try, I think it has a lot to do with getting people to leave me alone about why I am who I am.
Why bother? Save your effort, save your time and money, save your skin, save yourself. Plenty of other people are out there being conventional - they have it covered. Be yourself, and expand their horizon on what it means to be female. There are less taxing, more effective ways to get people to leave you alone about all this.
 

Edgar

Nerd King Usurper
Joined
Oct 25, 2008
Messages
4,266
MBTI Type
INTJ
Instinctual Variant
sx
Even my least conventional friends still have expectations for me. My close friends always ask me why I felt awkward being girly and I explained that it's just unnatural to me. I think that in a way most people have these conventions and expectations so to find people who don't have them is rare and difficult.

Yeah, life can be tough and what not.
 

MacGuffin

Permabanned
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
10,710
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xkcd
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9w1
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sx/sp
What exactly is "girly"?
 

Edgar

Nerd King Usurper
Joined
Oct 25, 2008
Messages
4,266
MBTI Type
INTJ
Instinctual Variant
sx
^^^She can count to potato.
 

Magic Poriferan

^He pronks, too!
Joined
Nov 4, 2007
Messages
14,081
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Yin
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One
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sx/sp
I sympathize with the OP, though I am in the mirror situation.
 
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