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[NT] Emotional Explosions

Hera

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Dec 27, 2010
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How do other NTs deal with extreme emotional stress/being hurt/upset?

I find that for the most part, I'm pretty emotionally neutral. However, when I'm extremely upset or sad I don't know what to effing do. I cannot function. It takes over my mind, it clutters my thoughts, and it ruins my day completely. I lose my appetite, which is one way I know I'm upset. Half the time I'm upset I only know because people tell me I'm being a downer, it's like I unintentionally ruin everyone else's day because I'm distraught. I'm trying to learn how to control it, I need to find a middle ground.
 
T

ThatGirl

Guest
I get mean just enough to create a smoke and mirrors effect that allows me to retreat into my own little hole. If some one presses me or tries to engage me after the fact I will blow the fuck up on them to get them to go away.

While in solitude, I will process, plan, or grieve until I feel I have dealt completely (it will no longer be an issue), or I know the next move to make.

Often times, I may lose sleep, since I get the brain working in full gear.
 

INTPness

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Depending on the severity, I usually have to retreat for sometime. Really face the situation head-on, think about what happened, reflect, remember, mourn, etc. Then, after some time, I can start to heal and think about where to go from here. Productively and in a healthy way. Sometimes these things move me into a new phase where I will start exercising harder or get more motivated to do what I want to do in life, etc. The pain, the experience, the grief pushes me forward and gives me new motivation once I've dealt with it properly.
 

Redbone

Orisha
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I shut down...hard. It's nearly impossible to think or function normally. I just want to be alone to process what is going on. Unfortunately, this means that I want to 'solve' what is going on and often there is no solution.

Like Hera, I don't know what to effing do. *sigh*
 

funkadelik

good hair
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lmao
Oh geez. I don't really like to address that they exist. Cover it all up with humour and social activities ("fun"). But there's still kind of an undercurrent of "something is wrong, I'm really upset, I feel vulnerable, WTF is going on?" I can't think as clearly and I become more impatient and less tolerant and less sensitive to the feelings of others.

But usually having emotions means addressing emotions and working through them, which is something for which I don't often have the time or energy. So they tend to get pushed aside and pushed aside and bottled up until they rupture into a depressive episode of some sort.

That's with REALLY strong emotions, though. Like, Really Big Deals. The little stuff doesn't tend to phase me like that.
 

Thisica

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I shut down too. But it's not just that, I also try to search for solutions to the emotional problem...which doesn't make much sense. To make the emotional breakdown go away, I do something that had nothing to do with the causes of it.
 

Coriolis

Si vis pacem, para bellum
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I shut down too. But it's not just that, I also try to search for solutions to the emotional problem...which doesn't make much sense. To make the emotional breakdown go away, I do something that had nothing to do with the causes of it.
It makes perfect sense, and I do it all the time. When I am bothered by an emotion, I look right away for the root cause: am I uncertain about something coming up? have I just had a significant disappointment or failure? am I facing some obvious difficulty? Once I identify this cause, I can start to address it directly. Even if it is something that will take a long time and much work to fix, just understanding this and starting the process usually dispels the negative feelings.

It is rare (almost unheard-of) for me to have true emotional outbursts. I will sometimes let more of my emotions out in order to make a point, but that is a calculated move, and one I do not often make. I am very good at handling sudden emotional situations, whether they be the outbursts of others, or something that triggers an immediate and intense emotional reaction in myself. Usually others will not even realize I am affected. It is the low-grade, chronic, gnawing irritations and insecurities that eventually get me over time, and must be addressed head-on as described above.
 

Hera

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Anddddddd I'm really not doing well with this.
 
R

ReflecTcelfeR

Guest
I have shown two or three people my emotional wreck 'mode', but I usually start figuring out right a way what happened and once found find a way to fix it if I can, the outburst strengthens if I don't have the ability or the right to fix it, that's when I shut down.
 
A

A window to the soul

Guest
It looks something like this...

grrrg.gif
 

Such Irony

Honor Thy Inferior
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How do other NTs deal with extreme emotional stress/being hurt/upset?

I find that for the most part, I'm pretty emotionally neutral. However, when I'm extremely upset or sad I don't know what to effing do. I cannot function. It takes over my mind, it clutters my thoughts, and it ruins my day completely. I lose my appetite, which is one way I know I'm upset. Half the time I'm upset I only know because people tell me I'm being a downer, it's like I unintentionally ruin everyone else's day because I'm distraught. I'm trying to learn how to control it, I need to find a middle ground.

That's inferior Fe for you. I'm another INTP and I relate alot to what you say.
 
A

A window to the soul

Guest
Is this thread about being extremely sad or is it about emotional explosions? :thinking:

I can't say that I'm ever extremely sad. Ever.
 

Hera

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Is this thread about being extremely sad or is it about emotional explosions? :thinking:

Well any really bad emotional explosion where you are overwhelmed by sadness, anger, even happiness. In my case it's sadness.
 

ThinkingAboutIt

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Upset is one thing. Upset is not an explosion, it is usually what you said, I just can't stop thinking about things and I don't know what the best thing to do is. I usually just get to a place where I forgive them so I am balanced again.

It takes a lot to get me to the point of exploding. It's not pretty. I usually feel better and can process things. If it was a relationship, even family, it usually precipitates that we're going to break off for a while, years, or maybe even for good (or so I think at that time).

I just can't deal with emotional drama and problems all the time, I can't function.
 

Scorquendo

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I have a few of those a year. It's not pretty. I get a bit childish and violent. But then it feels really good to let go sometimes, just not at whom you let it go to. Sometimes when reason doesn't get through to people, you have to let the insults fly high.

I was in a group project (uggghhg) and my group members consisted of a ISFP and an ESFP leader. The ISFP didn't really care, but the ESFP was a complete moron. I would be very clear and appropriately nice in mentioning possible problems with the gameplan (it was to make a video) such as technical and aesthetics (I've been an editor for 6 years and she's never edited anything before), but the ESFP would just do w/e because that's the way she felt and it would annoy the hell out of me because they weren't listening to valid arguments nor replying to them. I was ignored, even though I would give verbal/written backslaps on their poorly planned agenda, and I was still ignored. Finally, I just told her, the TA, and the teacher that I thought the project out loud. It wasn't an explosion, but it was definitely something I normally wouldn't say in public.

Moral of the story:

Don't work with ESFP/ESFJ leaders. I didn't have a choice.
 

copperfish17

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I go through things like this once or twice a year. I lose my appetite as well and find it difficult sleep at night... even if I do, I keep waking up in the middle of the night every 2 hours or so. I also tend to snap at people more often. More often than not I just cry into my pillows - I think it's healthier for me to deal with my negative emotions than to try to avoid them and let them fester inside. I do feel better after a good cry. Crying helps me accept my emotions as they are. It's quite cathartic.

Usually, after I've grieved over the cause of my unhappiness/sadness/anger etc. I am ready to move on and adjust my life as I see fit. There is no looking back after I'm done grieving - I will cry over and over again (at night) until my hurt finds a resolution. So far this kind of emotional periods have not lasted over a week, so that's good. I have accepted that unless I've truly grieved over my losses, I will not be able to be at peace - not for long.
 

Stigmata

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I don't think I've ever displayed any sort of external emotional outburst, as I tend to be pretty stoic in my expressions. When I'm at my emotional breaking point I tend to just recede further into my own little isolation chamber and introspect, all while trying to maintain my outer facade composure as best as I possibly can. Only select family members who know me very well can tell when I'm truly bothered by something, as I tend to be able to continue functioning semi-normally, only appearing to others as distracted or engrossed in thought.
 
G

Ginkgo

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I don't mind emotional explosions as long as the emotional terrorist is engaging the detonation sequence for a good cause. Like Krispy Cream Donuts.
 
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