[NT] Emotional Explosions

[ReflecTcelfeR]

I don't think I've ever displayed any sort of external emotional outburst, as I tend to be pretty stoic in my expressions. When I'm at my emotional breaking point I tend to just recede further into my own little isolation chamber and introspect, all while trying to maintain my outer facade composure as best as I possibly can. Only select family members who know me very well can tell when I'm truly bothered by something, as I tend to be able to continue functioning semi-normally, only appearing to others as distracted or engrossed in thought.

This last part has always interested me. Is something truly wrong if you can still function, or are we just distracted? That reasoning lends itself to denial, and perhaps we don't function as well as we think we do, but even still the ability to function is really all that matters to this world, even though it may be happiness to the individual.

 

[Coriolis]

I would say there is something right if you can still function in spite of emotional upset. The world doesn't come to a screeching halt just because someone is feeling overwhelmed. Work must be done, commitments must be kept, the bills must get paid. If the emotional state is caused by something that needs concrete attention -- e.g. a week away from work do deal with a death in the family -- that concrete attention becomes the function that needs to be performed.

 

[ReflecTcelfeR]

Exactly. I think realizing that something continues on beyond you can actually be used to encourage you towards normality. I think another important piece of insight is to not see these emotions as a threat, which is difficult for thinkers at times. Use your respective perceiving function to change the emotion into something better, or at least more helpful than what the problem was without the perception shift. I can't tell if that's common sense, or not.

 

[Hera]

I don't think I've ever displayed any sort of external emotional outburst, as I tend to be pretty stoic in my expressions. When I'm at my emotional breaking point I tend to just recede further into my own little isolation chamber and introspect, all while trying to maintain my outer facade composure as best as I possibly can. Only select family members who know me very well can tell when I'm truly bothered by something, as I tend to be able to continue functioning semi-normally, only appearing to others as distracted or engrossed in thought.

I've recently recovered from my initial shock phase from my issue-dissues and I'm really living normally but with a lot more anger and pain that I try to conceal with stupid activities. I can relate to that last sentence. I went to my brother's house the other day and I stared blankly at a chair for a good half hour before realizing I was obvious in my distraction from the outer world.

On that note, because my parents don't understand exactly what's going on they think I'm sick or something because they realize my usual stoic demeanor when I'm agitated is not present. It's how they know I'm upset, but now they have nothing to rely on. It's like of like I'm trying to eat with chopsticks using only one, really. Do everything but not as well as normally.

 

[Beargryllz]

I like exploding emotionally

 

[Vie]

It doesn't happen very often, but when it does it's quite a show. I literally become consumed by whatever it is that is upsetting me (keep in mind it is more than likely months and months of stress/issues that come out at once) and I stop eating and cease to function as a person. I become introverted and almost cruel in what I say to people. My fuse is non-existent and anyone can set me off on a rant that reins the fires of hell down on them. However this only lasts until I truly breakdown - luckily only two or three people have seen me this low. :\ I snap and become a completely different person for a fraction of a moment, and then bam. I'm perfectly fine. Just gotta let it out every couple of months as so I can continue functioning in the badass way I normally do. Hahaaa

 

[Qre:us]

How do other NTs deal with extreme emotional stress/being hurt/upset?

I find that for the most part, I'm pretty emotionally neutral. However, when I'm extremely upset or sad I don't know what to effing do. I cannot function. It takes over my mind, it clutters my thoughts, and it ruins my day completely. I lose my appetite, which is one way I know I'm upset. Half the time I'm upset I only know because people tell me I'm being a downer, it's like I unintentionally ruin everyone else's day because I'm distraught. I'm trying to learn how to control it, I need to find a middle ground.

Why would you want to control it? It seems like you are trying to avoid the emotions that are coming at you, out of you, rather than facing them [like not knowing when you're upset until someone points it out]. Becoming emotionally aware of self is a rewarding thing [as hard as it is, at first, to embrace, because it seems so foreign, uncomfortable and/or awkward].

Just let yourself acknowledge your emotions. Once you get comfortable enough with that, then you can try figuring out how to effectively deal with whatever it is that your emotions are trying to tell you about yourself/your situation.

 

[ReflecTcelfeR]

I used to try and control emotions and that ended horribly.

 

[Frostshade]

Please note I'm not claiming to be a paragon of emotional health, so take this as you will.

• First determine if it is worth being upset about. I mean it. Can you actually do anything about it? If not, then I find it best to force apathy into your emotions. Try to will it.
• I sometimes find my mind stuck in an endless cycle of it feeding off of my own angry or sorrowful thoughts. The more I dwell on the subject, the stronger the emotions get. I try to derail the current line of thinking, by any means possible. Trying to run a humorous scenario through my mind, counting, breathing exercises. Anything to shut the thoughts up for a couple of minutes.
• When feeling helpless, I try to rally myself with confidence, even when that confidence is obviously unwarranted. I inflate my ego, and exaggerate my abilities a little in my mind. (maybe this is the famous INTJ arrogance I keep hearing about?) It won't fix the problem, but will stifle the feelings that nothing can be done, which is definitely hindering.

The overall key is to alter my current line of thinking. I force it. I do not ignore it, because if I do that then it will blow up (it sometimes still does) My objective is to cool it, or let it all blow off in my mind as opposed to out in the open. This allows me to take what action is really needed. I hate to say it, but I don't always follow this, but like you I'm trying.

 

[axa]

I joined this forum today as part of the fallout from such an "emotional explosion" and subsequent mental retreat during the past week. It has taken me a few days to find my balance again. Truth is that before this, i had no concept of MBTI or any of the other formalised classification systems.

I have always known myself to be more serious and reserved than most people i know, less tolerant of whimsical silliness than most, deep need to retreat into isolation than deal with social situations, and very likely to "bottle" emotions than deal with them.... and that leads to rare but spectacular explosions of irrational strong emotions triggered by things like perceived idiocy or things that are outside of my expectations or control.

Until now, i have never been able to identify why i am this way. After my most recent episode, i realised that i needed to seek some answers, and in truth i started looking at autistic spectrum traits as that was something i was aware of and could see some small correlation to some aspects of myself. However, i found that while i could see some correlation, none would seem strong enough to truly justify pursuing AS as a main contender. However during my research, i came across MBIT & Jung, and found that there are known correlations between some of the NT types and some AS traits, and further still i found various descriptions of INTJ and INTP to be strikingly resonant for me, with INTJ being more prominent. So i now finally after many years have a reference framework to work with that can help me begin to unravel and understand why i deal with myself, reality, and other people in the way i do.

Not saying it is a perfect self-assessment, or 100% accurate, but i have to start somewhere. It has been good to discover that other NT people have similar bottling & explosive release issues, in the sense that it has helped me realise it is not just some totally irrational quirk of mine. Would still like to find a way to better de-fuse myself before i get in a mess again ... one small step at a time...

 

[Hera]

I like exploding emotionally

My mind went in a very perverted direction with this...

 

[Fluffywolf]

I generally don't, the last time I experienced anything like this, was years ago. I dealt with it at the time by writing some thoughts on paper (one of my better poems in fact!), and then getting out in my car and driving for three hours in the middle of the night, returning home only to be angry at myself for being a fool, and eventually waking up as if nothing had happened.


Despite the fact I quite like the poem I wrote, being emotionally upset is generally unproductive and not worth my time.

edit:

Oh whatever, I'll just share two of my darkest moment in my life and say how I dealt with that.

When I was 12, I played with a friend out near a highway, and when we came back home, I ringed the door and ran to the backdoor, my brother opened the door, realized it was us playing around and sent the dog after us. Except the dog picked up the wrong trail and we found her dead near the highway the next morning. I blamed myself at the time, feeling extremely sad and angry at myself, not to mention having my father going berserk at me when I told him what I did. Anyways, there was lots of self loathing and rejected any form or attempt at comfort. Once my head started clearing I realized that nothing about this was my intention and even though I had been foolish for choosing that location to play with my friend, I never wished any harm to come from it and moved on from there.

And then there was the time that I lost a very dear friend to me to suicide. Which left me filled with unanswered questions about life, reason and just about everything else. Also being young and directing all of my issues inwards, not letting anyone in my life know about my pains, didn't quite help me much in the longterm. No one in my direct environment knew of my connection with the victim, apart from the fact that I 'knew her' and I liked not having to deal with all the attention that I would have gotten if they did know how close I was, so I kept it that way.. Still, being quite lost in my values of what was right and wrong, I took to rebellious attitudes, sought the wrong kind of friends, fell victim to quite a bit of alcohol abuse for a few years and was part of quite a lot of bad stuff. This pretty much lasted two years, until something really serious was about to happen and a fight between me and my friends ensued. Leaving me friendless and alone and a changed man. Swore off alcohol and set my priorities straight and started to build my life on principles and morals ever since, and have never stopped building. :>

The first example was just someone letting my down, minor issue compared to the above two.

 

[mrcockburn]

I don't think I've ever exploded emotionally, at least since I was a little kid.

It's weird, because when alone, I might get intensely angry and practically plan on kicking someone's ass, but then when as soon as I see the idiot, I go back to calm, rational mode. While I will still express my dissatisfaction and criticism, I won't attack them the way I fantasized about a few minutes prior.

I don't think I could physically even do it (lose it in front of people) - my dignity just wouldn't let me.