[MBTI General] Dating vs. studying

[fragrance]

There's this girl I know from university. I think she's attracted to me, and I'm attracted to her, too, somehow. She's probably INFx, I'm INTJ.

I don't know whether I should ask her out, now that I've already planned my semester. I don't want to fall in love with her and see my studying derailed.

I was thinking of asking her at the end of the semester so we could meet during the summer vacation. And just have conversations till then. Do you think that is a good idea?

 

[Nicodemus]

I think it is doable. But: Do you really need all the studying? And: How important is she, how urgent is the attraction? Prioritize.

 

[chickpea]

you can't do both?

 

[Rasofy]

She might meet someone else in the meantime.
By then, you may end up in the friend zone and possibly in a platonic relationship that would last about 2 years.
She might think you are gay. Ok, that is unlikely.
Just giving some food for tought, I can't really point which should be your priorities.

 

[Giggly]

Focus on your studies. Girls will be there afterwards.

 

[King sns]

you can't do both?

Yea... I don't see why not. Are you in med school or something?

 

[entropie]

One thing's for sure, you'll regret that you missed to do one thing later, be it studieing or dating.

I advise you to compromise. Turn in some dating for some studieing, but tell her too that you are pretty occupied at the moment; if she likes you she'll understand. Just prove it to her that you are REALLY studieing or she may think you are just playing with her.

Imo it is always the best approach to balance things out, that way you prolly wont get rich in money, but in luck and wisdom

 

[INTPness]

Or you could make like an INTP and do "neither". Drop out of school and don't court the girl. :moonwalk:

I'm just saying, it leaves more time for reading.

(I'm also joking. I'm sure someone would have said, "That's HORRIBLE advice!")

 

[ReflecTcelfeR]

As long as your priorities are straight and she respects the conditions being made I don't see why you can't have both, just let her know that at the time being school is slightly (good word to use) above her as of now, though once things quiet down you'll put her straight to the top, next to family if you believe in putting them above all else.

This is what I would do if I ran into your problem.

 

[chickpea]

As long as your priorities are straight and she respects the conditions being made I don't see why you can't have both, just let her know that at the time being school is slightly (good word to use) above her as of now, though once things quiet down you'll put her straight to the top, next to family if you believe in putting them above all else.

This is what I would do if I ran into your problem.

noooo bad idea. never tell a girl something is above her, even if it is and even if you say slightly. just say you need to focus on school right now, and might not have as much time to spend with her as you want right now, but after the semester you're all hers.

 

[Giggly]

noooo bad idea. never tell a girl something is above her, even if it is and even if you say slightly. just say you need to focus on school right now, and might not have as much time to spend with her as you want right now, but after the semester you're all hers.

This.

 

[Chloe]

Haha i would never be attracted to someone who thinks like OP. Do her a favor and dont ask her out.

/ bitching

 

[entropie]

Haha i would never be attracted to someone who thinks like OP. Do her a favor and dont ask her out.

/ bitching

It always starts with the woman wanting a romantic and sensitive partner who is able to show his emotions, but later when you need a family manager, the demand for a masterbrained planer arises in notime. And if you are the sensitive guy, soon you'll be labeled as the big crybaby who isnt able to take life serious.

I tell you, woman and wicked start both with a w

 

[INTPness]

It always starts with the woman wanting a romantic and sensitive partner who is able to show his emotions, but later when you need a family manager, the demand for a masterbrained planer arises in notime. And if you are the sensitive guy, soon you'll be labeled as the big crybaby who isnt able to take life serious.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Habba]

Me not gets the dilemma. Can't you do both? I know I can... and work and have few hobbyist projects too.

Besides, I dont think that INFx would appreciate the fact that you'd put her on hold while you study... I think they are much more attracted to direct, genuine expressions of emotions, rather than well scheduled and planned dating.

If your studies suffer, fix your schedules. Tell her that even though you'd like to spent 24/7 time with her, you also have your own life to be taken care of, and she'll have to settle for a lesser amount.

noooo bad idea. never tell a girl something is above her, even if it is and even if you say slightly. just say you need to focus on school right now, and might not have as much time to spend with her as you want right now, but after the semester you're all hers.

Disagreed. Even thought it's fun to have someone wrapped around your little finger, it gets old quickly. That's why no one should sell their own lives in favor of a girl. And I think some women even appreciate it if their husbands would have life of their own.. eh? Dependancy addicts are no fun.

 

[ReflecTcelfeR]

noooo bad idea. never tell a girl something is above her, even if it is and even if you say slightly. just say you need to focus on school right now, and might not have as much time to spend with her as you want right now, but after the semester you're all hers.

Isn't saying that you're focused on school the same as saying it's above you at this point?

 

[figsfiggyfigs]

Hit it and quit it.

 

[chickpea]

Isn't saying that you're focused on school the same as saying it's above you at this point?

it might mean the same thing, but flat out saying 'school is above you right now' sounds really harsh to me. and he said the girl's an infx so there's a good chance she'd feel the same. it makes it sound like the relationship is a side thought and not important to him (which may be true for the op, i dont know).

and @habba i don't know what you're talking about, i didn't say anything about dependancy or not having a life outside of the relationship, i was just trying to find a more tactful way of saying what reflect did.

 

[Atomic Fiend]

Hit it and quit it.

Seconded this.

 

[ReflecTcelfeR]

it might mean the same thing, but flat out saying 'school is above you right now' sounds really harsh to me. and he said the girl's an infx so there's a good chance she'd feel the same. it makes it sound like the relationship is a side thought and not important to him (which may be true for the op, i dont know).

That's fair .