• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[NT] "I love you"?

Butterfly

New member
Joined
Mar 5, 2008
Messages
201
MBTI Type
ENFP
When an INTP says "I Love You". How serious is it? Can they be just flirting or players? Or is it the real deal?
 

Butterfly

New member
Joined
Mar 5, 2008
Messages
201
MBTI Type
ENFP
Oops...sorry.
Seeing that Im ENFP, I dont really read the rules that much, nor follow them. :doh:
OK..how do i get rid of this thread or move it to relationships??
thanks :)
 
Last edited:

disregard

mrs
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
7,826
MBTI Type
INFP
Don't worry about it. To answer your question, I think when an INTP says I love you, an INTP means it. The subject of love isn't tossed around lightly with those folks.
 

bluebell

New member
Joined
Apr 30, 2007
Messages
1,485
MBTI Type
INTP
If you're the same person who's just posted this question on INTPc, you might want to give the context. Just sayin'. :)
 

Judous

New member
Joined
Mar 14, 2008
Messages
79
MBTI Type
INTP
"An INTP characterized falling in love as a stage of complete loss of rationality that may last a year or less. When an INTP falls in love, he or she falls hard - an all or nothing phenomenon. At this stage"

This info comes from

INTP - The Wizard
 

ThatsWhatHeSaid

Well-known member
Joined
May 11, 2007
Messages
7,263
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
Lets see.

INTP - thinks about words and meaning a lot (too much), but also predisposed to social awkwardness with weak Fe and high introversion. When I've considered saying I love you to people, it's been either one of 2 situations: one, I feel extremely connected to the person; two, I feel very intense, but it's a mix of attraction and anxiety. The words become a tool to help a person conquer (maybe attenuate) their own anxiety and insecurity. It's not always the case the the second is mixed with anxiety, but it's true for me, and I don't really know anything else. (boo fucking hoo, Edahn)

One is feeling LOVE, one is being IN LOVE. They're different, even though we use the same words. One is a feeling of closeness that you'd have with a best friend that you love, another is something more akin to lust.

The way to tell the difference, I'd think, would be to examine other cues of cognition and emotion aside from the meaning of his words: body language, word choice, rhythm of speech, and quality of humor/creativity. You have to be perceptive/empathic to pick up on the cues, though. Does he look like he's trying hard, or not?

(BTW, since this thread is about INTPs only, we can keep it here for now, but if it broadens beyond type, I/someone'll move it.)
 

Magic Poriferan

^He pronks, too!
Joined
Nov 4, 2007
Messages
14,081
MBTI Type
Yin
Enneagram
One
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I personally would not use the words "I love you" lightly at all.
The thing is, this probably has to do with a lot more than being an INTP.
I'd chock it up to me being an Instinctual IPS, rather than the fact that I'm an INTP.
 

Priam

New member
Joined
Dec 20, 2007
Messages
272
MBTI Type
INTP
I'd just say "ditto" to all the comments above. I'm more likely to run away from the emotion than pretend it.
 

cafe

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
9,827
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
9w1
The character of the particular INTP would obviously come into play. One of good character would be unlikely to say it unless they really meant it, but they might say it if you said it to them first in order to avoid conflict.

FWIW, my INTP partner told me he loved me way sooner than I thought possible, but he was definitely sincere and he also turned out to be right.
 

LostInNerSpace

New member
Joined
Jan 25, 2008
Messages
1,027
MBTI Type
INTP
When an INTP says "I Love You". How serious is it? Can they be just flirting or players? Or is it the real deal?

It depends. Does he have low or high self-esteem? People with high self-esteem are always looking to do the right thing. People with low-self-esteem can be selfish and probably more likely to lie to get their own way.
 

Butterfly

New member
Joined
Mar 5, 2008
Messages
201
MBTI Type
ENFP
Very Insightful, thanks.

LostInnerSpace: He has very high self esteem.
 

Colors

The Destroyer
Joined
Apr 24, 2007
Messages
1,276
MBTI Type
ISTP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
Is this the stalker INTP?
 

Colors

The Destroyer
Joined
Apr 24, 2007
Messages
1,276
MBTI Type
ISTP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
In that case- or in the context (I'm assuming that he proclaimed this post break-up) that you've already broken up with him- these are the following possible scenarios that I can think of, that he:
a) genuinely loves you
b) genuinely thinks he loves you
c) will say anything to get back with you (for a variety of reasons: jealously, obsession, hope, etc.)

In any of these cases, I don't think it really matters what he means by "I love you".* I think you should instead approach it from a- "what's best for me?"-perspective: what do you want?

*Of course we are all naturally curious, and I, for one, would be dying to figure out this mystery.
 

Butterfly

New member
Joined
Mar 5, 2008
Messages
201
MBTI Type
ENFP
In that case- or in the context (I'm assuming that he proclaimed this post break-up) that you've already broken up with him- these are the following possible scenarios that I can think of, that he:
a) genuinely loves you
b) genuinely thinks he loves you
c) will say anything to get back with you (for a variety of reasons: jealously, obsession, hope, etc.)

In any of these cases, I don't think it really matters what he means by "I love you".* I think you should instead approach it from a- "what's best for me?"-perspective: what do you want?

*Of course we are all naturally curious, and I, for one, would be dying to figure out this mystery.

Thankyou Colors. I like your advise to see whats is best for me perspective.

I was really mean to him and treated him bad bcos he kept on contacting...I mean i was a total bitch.....but he just doesnt give up.
I think he genuinely loves me. He's still after the idea of marrying me! Even though i made it clear I dont want to marry him, and this was like 4 days ago!
I've been so stressed, i couldnt sleep for 2 nights.
sighhh
Dont worry I shall keep you updated.
thanks though. :)
 

LostInNerSpace

New member
Joined
Jan 25, 2008
Messages
1,027
MBTI Type
INTP
Thankyou Colors. I like your advise to see whats is best for me perspective.

I was really mean to him and treated him bad bcos he kept on contacting...I mean i was a total bitch.....but he just doesnt give up.
I think he genuinely loves me. He's still after the idea of marrying me! Even though i made it clear I dont want to marry him, and this was like 4 days ago!
I've been so stressed, i couldnt sleep for 2 nights.
sighhh
Dont worry I shall keep you updated.
thanks though. :)

Love can do crazy things to people. :sadbanana:
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
11,429
MBTI Type
eNFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
The last time an INTP told me he was in love with me, he looked like he was dying from the admission. It means everything if they say it. Then again, that's been my experience with ENTPs as well.
 
Top