[NT] "I love you"?

[Domino]

lol...yes! U remember!

Stalking is never flattering. You put on your pointy toed boots and threaten to give him an attitude adjustment, woman.

 

[Colors]

Thankyou Colors. I like your advise to see whats is best for me perspective.

I was really mean to him and treated him bad bcos he kept on contacting...I mean i was a total bitch.....but he just doesnt give up.
I think he genuinely loves me. He's still after the idea of marrying me! Even though i made it clear I dont want to marry him, and this was like 4 days ago!
I've been so stressed, i couldnt sleep for 2 nights.
sighhh
Dont worry I shall keep you updated.
thanks though.

You're so nice! And please do keep us updated.

 

[Judous]

Thankyou Colors. I like your advise to see whats is best for me perspective.

I was really mean to him and treated him bad bcos he kept on contacting...I mean i was a total bitch.....but he just doesnt give up.
I think he genuinely loves me. He's still after the idea of marrying me! Even though i made it clear I dont want to marry him, and this was like 4 days ago!
I've been so stressed, i couldnt sleep for 2 nights.
sighhh
Dont worry I shall keep you updated.
thanks though.

It may be a good idea to sit with him and really explain how you feel. He should understand at that point

 

[Butterfly]

Thank you guys with helping me through this.

It may be a good idea to sit with him and really explain how you feel. He should understand at that point

Thats what I did finally. I thought since its important for an INTP to understand what is going on, I had a long chat with him face to face. I tried to be as logical as I could and give him as open and honest information as I could. He seemed pretty calm about this whole thing.
Though I could still see the love he had for me, even while I was trying to explain my position on this issue.

Now he has taken some time to think over it.....Im not contacting him and he not me. I dont know if he's bought my reasons or not. I will have to wait and see if he is over it (because he has understood the whole picture). It still seemed to me he wasnt giving up.
Only time would tell!! sighhh (Im nervous). !

 

[LostInNerSpace]

Thank you guys with helping me through this.



Thats what I did finally. I thought since its important for an INTP to understand what is going on, I had a long chat with him face to face. I tried to be as logical as I could and give him as open and honest information as I could. He seemed pretty calm about this whole thing.
Though I could still see the love he had for me, even while I was trying to explain my position on this issue.

Now he has taken some time to think over it.....Im not contacting him and he not me. I dont know if he's bought my reasons or not. I will have to wait and see if he is over it (because he has understood the whole picture). It still seemed to me he wasnt giving up.
Only time would tell!! sighhh (Im nervous). !

It seems to me ENFPs find it very easy to move on. It's not so easy for an INTP, not for me anyway. I can do it, but it's not easy. INTPs especially hardcore T's don't usually understand decisions made based on feeling. To you the relationship doesn't feel right, to him it doesn't make sense that you don't want him anymore. We do feel, trust me, he feels it. But our thinking overrides our feeling.

Best thing would be to cut ties with him altogether, but if you really want to talk it through try something like this:

It takes two for a relationship. My heart and head are not in this relationship. Yours seem to be, but do you really want to be in a relationship with someone who dosen't feel the same way about you? Where is that going to go? It doesn't make a lot of sense does it? You might want to try to soften the blow by pointing out some of the good things about him.

I have never met you but my guess is that your natural charm will override your words. He probably won't hear the words. He will be blinded by love. Best thing would be to cut ties completely.

 

[Judous]

Thank you guys with helping me through this.



Thats what I did finally. I thought since its important for an INTP to understand what is going on, I had a long chat with him face to face. I tried to be as logical as I could and give him as open and honest information as I could. He seemed pretty calm about this whole thing.
Though I could still see the love he had for me, even while I was trying to explain my position on this issue.

Now he has taken some time to think over it.....Im not contacting him and he not me. I dont know if he's bought my reasons or not. I will have to wait and see if he is over it (because he has understood the whole picture). It still seemed to me he wasnt giving up.
Only time would tell!! sighhh (Im nervous). !

You did the right thing. =)

Best of luck

 

[Butterfly]

Thanks Judous and LostInnerspace.

LostInnerspace: I copied and pasted your advice on word document, should the need arise I know exactly what to say. Thank you very much for that advice.

 

[nemo]

The last time an INTP told me he was in love with me, he looked like he was dying from the admission. It means everything if they say it. Then again, that's been my experience with ENTPs as well.

This is full of wisdom and truth.

 

[Domino]

This is full of wisdom and truth.

I thank you.

I can tell when an NTP is on his knees. When it's not an act. When they can't shutter themselves. In those few time-bending moments, I realized what vulnerability can exist in a tough type that I had imagined was impervious to me, to anything they decided to exempt from the A-list of their existence. NTs are hard to crack, and when they do crack, I know from experience it's something that could maim them. I tread carefully.

 

[Seanan]

Renting the movie "Onegin" might bring you some insight.

 

[Martoon]

The last time an INTP told me he was in love with me, he looked like he was dying from the admission.

Ah, if only there were still rep points to be given...

 

[Domino]

Life-Imperiling The Piranha Way

 

[Maybeyoureright]

as an INTP / ENTP, I can personally assure you that when I use the word "love" in a sentence, be it "I love you" or "I love this song" or "I love this sandwich", I mean every word I say. As a rule we are not in the business of saying things we don't mean or meaning things we don't say.

 

[Kora]

When I say it, I MEAN it. It's very hard for me to say those words, be to a friend or a person I'm in love. In fact, I never said 'I love you' to the person I could have fell for. I need too much trust for showing that.
Besides, I barely say it on my own voice... It's always on mails, text messages or anything that doesn't imply that I have to be present and take out these three words from my mouth.

 

[Wade Wilson]

I can toss it around with ease if it's not in person and/or I know it's really just because I'm with someone because we really have nothing better to do for a few weeks (unemployed, waiting for a paycheck, friends out-of-town, etc). We both know we don't mean it, we're just playing a silly little game to keep ourselves distracted until out lives go back to normal. If I were to really mean it, I'd never say it. I'd much prefer to express how I feel through other means... like sock puppets.

 

[Spartacuss]

I never toss it around with ease, and certainly not for the purpose of playing games in an actual relationship. If I'm seriously saying it (obvious jokes aside), I mean it.

 

[Kaizer]

When an INTP says "I Love You". How serious is it? Can they be just flirting or players? Or is it the real deal?

I can tell when an NTP is on his knees. When it's not an act. When they can't shutter themselves. In those few time-bending moments, I realized what vulnerability can exist in a tough type that I had imagined was impervious to me, to anything they decided to exempt from the A-list of their existence. NTs are hard to crack, and when they do crack, I know from experience it's something that could maim them. I tread carefully.

When I first read on an INTP profile that INTPs verbalize it is as "being fond of someone", it was as precisely true as the Paul James reference in his INTP profile writeup to the use of the word 'irrelevant' . So if an INTP says it, I'd say its very serious. I presume a relationship and/or having known the person for long enough or deeply enough.

 

[Jack Flak]

Yes, it's damn serious, unless teh INTP is intoxicated and temporarily ENFP.