[NT] NTs and stress...

[The Ü™]

In continuation of the "ISTJs and stress" thread, I've decided to inquire about NTs and stress.

My questions:

• What kind of behaviors do you exhibit when stressed?
• How is your normal mode of thinking altered when stressed?
• How do you deal with stress?
• What kinds of things stress you out?

What kind of behaviors do you exhibit when stressed?

For me, it would, first and foremost depend on the people I'm with.

When I'm around family members or anyone I'm intimidated by or I feel are stronger than me, I tend to be more passive-aggressive and I drop hints that I'm angry, because I often don't know how to let people know that I'm stressed.

When I'm alone or with strangers, however, I tend to yell a lot and throw things around. I get intense bouts of rage. But I'm usually conscientious enough not to throw expensive things around and I only throw things around which can easily be replaced.

I also sometimes do things to get attention.

How is your normal mode of thinking altered when stressed?

When I'm stressed, I become much more insecure, and become worried about how others feel about me. I tend to become much more materialistic or in want of material goods. I also become more aware of my appearance, and moreover, my body.

When I am stressed, I become mindless and not only do I become mentally scattered, I feel scattered, as well. I start something (even something simple) but I can't finish it because I get bored with it easily. I can't concentrate on either my ideas and I can't concentrate on expressing my ideas. I tend to be fidgety and unable to sit still. I also tend to also be more aware of the feeling of my clothes against my skin.

I'll also obsess about the realities that prevent me from accomplish my goals, chiefly money and time. I tend to be the kind of person who wants things done immediately and I don't like doing things unless I feel I know they're going to be worth it.

How do you deal with stress?

In dealing with stress, I tend to overindulge in physical pleasures, such as food, drink, or the rush I get when yelling at others or throwing things around. And I'll often move around a lot physically until I feel comfortable, because physical comfort is necessary for my mental comfort. I also tend to lie down and sleep more when I'm stressed.

What kind of things stress you out?

I'm mostly stressed out by things not going the way I either planned or predicted. I also become stressed when I can't find anything that permanently catches my interest. I also become stressed when I keep trying to accomplish something and I keep failing, which, in turn, makes me depressed and therefore unmotivated.

EDIT: I'll be adding onto this once I do a bit more of self reflection.

 

[substitute]

What kind of behaviors do you exhibit when stressed?
How is your normal mode of thinking altered when stressed?
How do you deal with stress?
What kinds of things stress you out?

What kind of behaviors do you exhibit when stressed?

I get impatient with people and very restless, and yet I sit still and do nothing. this is because what stresses me out is when I'm bored and having nothing challenging or different/stimulating to do, and if that happens then I have difficulty motivating myself to do anything at all, especially the routine stuff like housework, cooking, eating, sleeping, getting dressed, that kinda thing.

It can become a destructive feedback loop, where I'm frustrated because I'm not doing anything, but then even if I get a chance to do something interesting I can't be bothered to do the routine things that are required to get there. Like if someone invites me on a trip or something, though it's just what I need I say no because I can't be bothered to get dressed.

How I deal with it... I try to solve the cause of it, generally. Try to find a new challenge, or just bend everyone's ear until someone gives me something to do. Sometimes it takes someone to plant an unexpected, yet surmountable obstacle in my path on purpose, so that rising to the challenge of negotiating it gives me the motivation I need to put my hands on my hips in satisfaction and say "Right, what's next? Bring it on!" Even something tiny and stupid like hiding the coffee pot so I have to find it before I can have my first coffee of the day (or more likely, improvise a way of making coffee without it).

I need a lot of challenge, surprises and stimulation in order to have the 'strength' to face the familiar and routine.

Damn, I'm so textbook!!

 

[disregard]

I don't want to say too much, but I'm bad news when I'm stressed. I will fuck up your day with my nastiness. =\

 

[The Ü™]

I don't want to say too much, but I'm bad news when I'm stressed. I will fuck up your day with my nastiness. =\

Is it anything like the way I described when I'm stressed?

 

[disregard]

No.. nothing passive aggressive.. Just aggressive. Basically, don't come near me if I'm stressed out of my mind. You will get bitten.

 

[The Ü™]

If I'm in a passive-aggressive mode, it's almost always the sarcastic kind. I'm not big on the silent treatment or making lame excuses. But I think my passive-aggressiveness is mostly learned behavior because of my upbringing.

My really destructive stress resulted in losing jobs, because I curse out co-workers and blow up in a rage of fury. And often, when I'm bitter or resentful, I'll tend to imagine and act out a scenario in my head in which I am getting the drop on whatever object I feel is causing my anguish. But I'm not usually confident to act out on it directly to that other person.

 

[Garivande]

How is your normal mode of thinking altered when stressed?

When I am stressed, I become mindless and not only do I become mentally scattered, I feel scattered, as well.

Amen. I "run around" (mentally) doing things half ways, and forgetting what I was doing so I have to redo it again etc. I have much lest patience to do boring things, but are even more tormented with the guilt of not having done them - than I normally would ("guilt" is usually something I don't suffer from, when I'm not stressed I'm a very laid back person).

How do you deal with stress?
...
I also tend to lie down and sleep more when I'm stressed.

Me too. I also waste my "precious" time by taking a massage etc to unwind (with the risk of being even more stressed afterwards because I've run further behind).

What kind of things stress you out?

I'm mostly stressed out by things not going the way I either planned or predicted.

I've found I become the most stressed out when I have to follow other peoples decisions that I think are bad (the wrong way to solve a specific problem, the wrong way to organize a project etc).

Currently I'm a secretary in a board where the chairman is
1) totally disorganized;
2) rather stupid;
3) arrogant and impatient with anyone who does not agree or "understand" the decisions. In the long run I can see three consequences:
a) I will leave my position on the board;
b) I'll stay because of my sense of duty and become more and more insane as the year passes;
c) I'll murder the chairman one dark night.
I'm hoping for an alternative d) I'll stay and learn: increase my capability of handling people like this chairman and maintain my coolness and clarity in spite of it all!

 

[substitute]

I get over sensitive as well, very hypersensitive to criticism and even see things as criticism that are not meant that way. When I'm stressed I need to be told and reassured that I'm liked and that people are on my side, cos I worry that if someone criticizes me and everyone believes them then they'll all hate me and laugh at me. It's just really hard for me to take criticism of any kind when I'm really stressed, but I don't get angry so much as anxious; my reaction is more compulsively clarifying and explaining myself (to OTT proportions) than yelling or 'biting' people.

The best bet for if someone's caught me in a stressed mood and said something I've taken too hard, is to remember that I'm still a man of reason rather than emotion, so to continue to appeal to my reason even if the emotional side seems to be more dominant at that time - and NOT to tell me to calm down. Woe betide the person who tells me to calm down!! I need people to say in very clear language their chain of thinking that led to whatever it was they said that upset me, and then I'll be able to understand that the insult was only imagined, or if not, then justified.

But it's all interactive with me... the causes of stress, the outlets and the solutions, they're all external/social. Like if I'm feeling understimulated and bored and restless, I'll tend to see that as someone's fault - say, the fault of the person or organization that's supposed to give me work to do, and I'll see that as being because they don't take me seriously, don't like me or don't consider me fit for the work, or that they just plain forget about me, I'm not memorable enough to spring to their minds when they're thinking about who to ask to do a certain job. And the solution is for me to go up to people who are in a position to help and tell them how I'm feeling and what I need, and they need to find me something to do or to let me do it if I find something of my own accord.

 

[Seanan]

What kind of behaviors do you exhibit when stressed?

In a word... awful! All who know approach with extreme caution as if approaching an alligator/croc... I show no mercy even if they pull back a bloody stump.

How is your normal mode of thinking altered when stressed?

It could no longer be referred to as thinking. My mind is "hysterical."


How do you deal with stress?

Vegetate usually when I've reached the "tilt" point.

What kinds of things stress you out?

Any negative requiring the services of a lawyer.
Serious stuff like a contaminated well.
Major purchases having to contract installers, etc... like putting in new flooring... I'm sooo sick of the scam artists and slackers of today.
A sick pet. I know.... why animals? I'm past little humans and adults can tell you what's wrong.
Seriously ill loved ones or waiting for the doc's results with them or myself really.
Major purchasing decisions... I gather too much info and get immobilized.

 

[Tallulah]

I'd say my stress reactions probably look a lot like yours, Uberfuhrer.

I also can be very prone to "all or nothing" thinking, and I'll envision the worst case scenario as the only one with any validity. But, not wanting to actually believe it, I may seek people out and recount the story to a variety of friends, partly to get their take on the situation, and partly to just get it out of my brain. Otherwise, I'll just obsess and overthink. Usually, it's the interpersonal things that cause me this kind of stress--the things that I imagine other people know naturally, but are like a second language to me. (like when a guy likes me but I don't like him romantically, but want to keep him as a friend, for example) I'll blow these situations WAY out of proportion in my own mind, just because they make me insecure.

When I'm not stressed, I tend to rely on my own assessment of the situation more than others' assessments. That's why it's a big tipoff when I start going around asking others for advice.

I don't tend to act in anger, and I don't get angry that often. But if someone makes me mad, I'll probably just vent about it until I can gain a clearer perspective. Often it's just someone's immaturity or a misunderstanding, and I'm very glad I didn't just go off on them. If it's someone who's acting as a bully to someone I love or who's making everyone miserable, but it's going unchecked, I'll probably be the person who finally says something to them. It will be just pointed or snarky enough that they get the message, but never delivered in anger. Usually works like a charm.

If it's stress like thesis-writing stress, etc., I'll procrastinate like crazy and then freak out at the eleventh hour. I'll get nervous to the point of losing my appetite, so I'll probably lose a few pounds in that week. I ordinarily use deadlines to my advantage as a motivator, though.

 

[matmos]

When I am stressed I have a tendency to indulge in excessive sensate behaviour - too much wine, cigarettes, internet, etc. Not typical NT behaviour - quite the opposite.

However, more than one person has commented that I look extremely calm under pressure and seldom if ever flake out, although they don't get that I might be just as upset but just don't look it. Usually I only get angry when my Time Out is "rudely" interrupted. I don't get much of it these days and hanker for a quiet place to skulk. It's problematic when someone does not get the leave-me-alone hints - tantamount to a slap in the face - and I'm liable to lapse into biting sarcasm, something, I am not proud to say, that I can be very good at. One thing I have noticed at work when I'm stressed out: I tend to try to accumulate and manage lots of detailed information that is probably irrelevant to a project. It can be quite compulsive and probably indicates some time out is required, with a glass of wine and a cigarette of course.

The biggest problem is overwhelmingly trying to plan and control future events (obviously impossible) this often gets me in a bind and I end up thinking about the same thing over and over. This can be compulsive and leaves friends exasperated.

Thanks for your posts Uberfuhrer - always interesting to hear your views.

 

[Firelie]

What kind of behaviors do you exhibit when stressed?

I tend to not show any outward signs of stress. When I'm stressed, I usually end up clenching my teeth together in my sleep (which results in a hellish migraine in the morning...I wear a night guard in my mouth nowadays)

How is your normal mode of thinking altered when stressed?

It isn't much altered. I will have the thing that's stressing me in the back of my mind at all times, but I'm always thinking about something anyway, so it's not that different.

What kinds of things stress you out?

Uncompleted schoolwork. I procrastinate a lot (hehe) and end up stressing myself out because of it.

How do you deal with stress?

The only way to deal with the stress is by working on the project in a way that satisfies my feeling of accomplishment.

 

[sriv]

What kind of behaviors do you exhibit when stressed?

My annoyance meter shrinks.

How is your normal mode of thinking altered when stressed?

Speed and performance jumps up, but accuracy goes down slightly.

What kinds of things stress you out?

Procrastination with unfinished work. When things do not go the way I plan, like in failure.

How do you deal with stress?

I try to calm myself through recreational means or leisurely means. Recreation - forums, learning, books, video games. Leisure - TV, sleep, easy read books.

 

[ceecee]

What kind of behaviors do you exhibit when stressed? I don't show much outward signs to most people. Night time teeth clenching/grinding. I shred right through some mouthguards at times.



How is your normal mode of thinking altered when stressed? I'm much more aware of any and all irritants and they are magnified.



How do you deal with stress? Being alone. Laying down. Listening to music, working out and walking. Indulging in more physical pleasures like sex or eating.



What kind of things stress you out? Inconsistency at work that effects me (as in I have to fix or deal with it). Things at home. Things that are beyond my control but I still want to control anyway, although that's improved significantly.

 

[Chemgrl82]

• What kind of behaviors do you exhibit when stressed?

Depending on the level of stress, I will have my initial venting to whomever is around that can stomach it, then followed by a whole lot of silence. I tend to hide from people and just keep my headphones in. At home, I will lock myself in my room or find somewhere I can be alone.

If the stress hits me really hard initially, I won't be able to talk about it at all until I calm down. I have to remove myself from everyone and work things out in my mind to a point where I can handle them. Alcohol usually gets involved if it's the weekend. Eventaully, I will be able to talk about things, but it may take a couple of days.

• How is your normal mode of thinking altered when stressed?

Usually, I work things out in my head by talking through them. However, when I'm majorly stressed, I really can't talk about it rationally. Therefore, I will write out all of my thoughts to get them more oraganized. I go as far as to make venn diagrams and timelines to see how things have progrossed. Again, I have to be completely alone and I have to keep my thoughts well-hidden after they've been put on paper.

• How do you deal with stress?

See above. Hionestly, I don't deal well.

• What kinds of things stress you out?

Usually, it stems from a lack of understanding in some area (especially work-related) when I am expected to make something work. If there is too much emotional drama involved where there is miscommunication on my part, it stresses me out. It really gets to me when I can't seem to make myself clear or people take things that I say the wrong way. Major financial issues coupled with other junk can stress me out (I can usually handle it alone).

What kind of behaviors do you exhibit when stressed?

Hostility followed by periods of withdrawal, depending on the intensity. It's either A) I freak out and withdraw or B)Withdraw and shutdown.

Gee, stress is fun.