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[NT] Borderline

Rex

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Got some info about how they tend to behave.
Are they prone to manipulate? Is it a stupid question?

Battle Without Honor Or Humanity, a song by Tomoyasu Hotei on Spotify

I have a impression. to put it gently, after i encountered two girls who both had it last nigh out.
It was them who stated that they were it. I hardly knew anything about it other than that they are supposed to be unstable emotionally.
Im thinking of starting a blog about all the insanity i put myself trough to find a girl.
 

Rex

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Stupid americans... just try it.. its for free.

Now..
Borderline! Borderline! what do you say about borderline!
 

Mipp

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Are you interested in Borderline Personality Disorder? (Your link doesn't work for me).

The DSM-IV TR has the following as criteria for establishing a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD):

A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image and affects, as well as marked impulsivity, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:
1.Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. Note: Do not include suicidal or self-injuring behavior covered in Criterion 5
2.A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.
3.Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.
4.Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., promiscuous sex, eating disorders, binge eating, substance abuse, reckless driving). Note: Do not include suicidal or self-injuring behavior covered in Criterion 5
5.Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, threats or self-injuring behavior such as cutting, interfering with the healing of scars (excoriation) or picking at oneself.
6.Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).
7.Chronic feelings of emptiness
8.Inappropriate anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights).
9.Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation, delusions or severe dissociative symptoms


I'm not altogether sure why you posted this in the NT forum, as BPD is not known to be comorbid with any particular personality type. Women are much more likely to be diagnosed with BPD than men; however, I've seen mental health professionals suggest that as men make up the vast majority of diagnosed Antisocial Personality Disorder (better known, if now inaccurately, as psychopathy) that it may be that some female APD disorder cases are misdiagnosed as BPD, and some male BPD cases are misdiagnosed as APD.

And what are people with BPD like? They're very scary to be around. There've been some interesting discussions of BPD on the Straight Dope Message Board, so if I may, I'd like to link to those:
Someone I know has borderline personality disorder
Experiences with borderline personality people
How bad is borderline personality disorder? Really?

This Time Magazine article says the following:

Borderlines are the patients psychologists fear most. As many as 75% hurt themselves, and approximately 10% commit suicide — an extraordinarily high suicide rate (by comparison, the suicide rate for mood disorders is about 6%). Borderline patients seem to have no internal governor; they are capable of deep love and profound rage almost simultaneously. They are powerfully connected to the people close to them and terrified by the possibility of losing them — yet attack those people so unexpectedly that they often ensure the very abandonment they fear. When they want to hold, they claw instead.

BPD, like most personality disorders, doesn't respond well to therapy. Psychologists and therapists have little hope for much 'recovery' for their BPD patients. What tends to happen is that BPD people either mellow out somewhat as they age, or they burn out and commit suicide or die due to some misadventure.
 

Thalassa

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It basically means "I hate you don't leave me."

I think my ex has this. He loves intensely but torments those he loves with constant temper tantrums, defensive behavior, and sometimes outright abuse.

Like if you don't meet up to their perfect idea of who you're supposed to be, they can insult you bitterly and do horrifying things to push you away, then cry and plead and beg for you to return.

I think I knew a female who had it, and she couldn't stand to be alone. Ever. I mean, she had to sleep with the tv on because it made her feel less alone. She would call people to come over so she never would be alone. I think this goes with the chronic emptiness.

Drug/alcohol abuse is also common in these people.

It goes beyond just being emotionally unstable or being extremely sensitive.

Mipp made a very good point when said that men are more likely to be diagnosed as antisocial (because they tend to react with violence more, I think) and women as borderline, because of "needy" behavior.
 

Thalassa

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Most people can recognize someone with BPD as a total trainwreck, too. It's not like it's a huge surprise. I realize this now as a grown woman, but it was harder for me to understand this when I was younger. I think I was drawn to borderline people and wanted to help them. I think my mom might be a touch borderline, though I don't have proof.

Their temper tantrums are HUGE, like far beyond reason...it's not just normal bitching or arguing. It's scary fucking shit, and it often is just totally psychotic wacko over NOTHING, like getting way too mad over little petty things, or depersonalizing other people, or constantly threatening to commit suicide.

Sometimes BPD is confused with bipolar disorder. The difference generally is that people with bipolar are acting in an emotionally unstable way for no apparent reason, but actual triggers can be traced to the borderline personality. People with bipolar apparently are more likely to want or seek help, while the borderline person likes to think EVERYONE ELSE HAS THE PROBLEM. Ummm...let's see...oh and the chronic emptiness thing, people who are bipolar don't have that.
 

ZPowers

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My understanding is that they have a tendency to both deify people as perfect beyond reason and to, on the flip side, find that people are pure, unadulterated evil. Sometimes they flip flop on these semi-quickly, sometimes these descriptions apply not to one person, but large groups of people they find "very good" or "very evil" (I think evil is a more accurate word, in this case, than bad).

I've heard that there are number hugely influential psychologists that argue this was the mental disorder Hitler was afflicted with somewhat efficiently, which makes sense in terms of finding certain groups of people (or animals) truly amazing and others detestable. I think it's an interesting and potentially compelling argument I lack the expertise to say much on.

Naturally, I am not trying to cast all Borderline folks as Hitler-esque. Things like this affect every person different aside from a couple basic trends that they react to in their own way. Except maybe Antisocial Disorder, which seems across the board like someone I don't want to meet.
 

Thalassa

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People who are borderline tend to deify and demonize the same individual or group of people. Hitler's clearly defined groups of good and evil make me think he was a paranoid schizophrenic, which I believe is the most common speculation for him.
 

Rex

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Allright! Not going to respond to the sms: "date?" :p" then.

Going to be selfish and "evil" this time for my own good.
 

Thalassa

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I think it's in your best interest to avoid anyone who would be, like, bragging about it when you first meet them whether they have it or not. If someone doesn't have it and says they do, they're probably immature and are looking for attention, or may have a different disorder like narcissism.

I was terrified at one point that I had it, but do not. I can't imagine anyone being proud of it or talking about it that openly, especially in my experience with people I think are borderline, they refuse to get help, or even when they do they don't stick with it.
 

Rex

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She was cozy as hell. (cozy cossy?) She basically wrapped herself around me.

I was a good time until she tried to pull tricks on me. I don`t respond to evil tricks. I just leave. or confront you. i did both at the end.

Kinda strange my feelings are unhurt. Guess i was to detached. To drunk to bond. I guess.

Words hurts more perhaps. I feel a tad hurt because they claimed that i reminded them about a True blood vampire or something. Time to grow my hair long again.

She was perhaps mentally over it.. they can "grow out of it" at least the cutting part.
 

guesswho

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I think it's in your best interest to avoid anyone who would be, like, bragging about it when you first meet them whether they have it or not.

Don't avoid her. She's interesting.
She's not going to try to kill you with an axe or anything.
 
T

ThatGirl

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Someone always says that, right before the axe comes out......

If someone is telling you they are Borderline as a conversation piece, chances are they think it is cool, or use the description to justify other non related behavior.

I don't know about dating someone who actually had it. I think that would be unsettling.
 

guesswho

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I'm willing to bet that she won't try to kill him with an axe. Although borderlines seem to be inexplicably attracted to crossbows.
 

Thalassa

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I'm willing to bet that she won't try to kill him with an axe. Although borderlines seem to be inexplicably attracted to crossbows.

I was in a relationship with a borderline. They aren't interesting, they torture you. It's uniquely different from some other mental illnesses and personality disorders as it is notoriously hard to treat and is frequently linked to drug/alcohol addiction, violence, even crime. Someone in one of the provided links said it best when they described the borderline person as seeing life as one giant attack on them, even when they're doing horrible things to other people.

They can be insanely cruel, and it makes it all the more painful that they simultaneously act like they love you so much.

From what I understand INTJs don't like clingy, and borderlines can out-clingy any regular clingy person. I'm talking about calling you every hour on the hour, screaming "where the hell have you been" and throwing things if you come home thirty minutes late from church...
 

guesswho

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I was in a relationship with a girl who I suspect was borderline.
We met, and after a few days, she knocked at my door, I was like WTF....how'd you get here? Did u stalk me ? lol

When I told her I wanted to break up with her...that day I received a phone call from a friend saying : Hey what's wrong with you your girlfriend wanted to kill herself today. Again ...the WTF moment : ))

When I wanted to break up with her (again), some guy came along begging me not to break up with her because he really likes this chick who was friend with this borderline girl, and she promised she'd hook him up with her.

Something always happened the day I wanted to break up with her.

She lied a lot.

She stole my stuff to get back at me.

I remember she influenced most of my friends into thinking stuff that wasn't true. She made them all ask me to hook up with her like...all day long..annoying me.

She was a crazy bitch, and it was fun...ish
 

Thalassa

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I would never advise an adult to get into a relationship with a person with BPD unless that person was in therapy and were working on their problems.

In my case, I didn't really know what BPD was back when I met my ex, and I felt sorry for him because of his childhood and thought I could love him out of it. I just thought he got jealous and I didn't think things would get worse, but they did. He's come to grips with some of his problems but he refuses to be in therapy.

My mom is the same way - she tortures everyone around her but acts like a victim. The good thing about mom is that she, generally speaking, is not violent but does fucked up things like follows you back to your room and screams in your face and bangs on your door when you're trying to get space to end the argument. She won't get therapy, thinks everyone around her is crazy but she's not, blah blah blah.

She can be really sweet but then lashes out really extremely. Borderlines are like this: this bizarre dichotomy between the sweetest love and most damaging hate.

People with BPD generally were either violently or sexually abused in childhood, it's part of what shapes the borderline personality - a parent or other guardian who simultaneously loved them and seriously harmed them, or who abandoned them suddenly, or who was too co-dependent on the child as though the child were expected to be a friend or even a partner.
 
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