[ENTJ] Is this typical ENTJ behavior?

[INTJMom]

I've been close to a few ENTJ's in my time, and something I noticed about two of them (not so much the other two) was that if they acknowledged a wrong or error in something, it sorta meant they had to do something about it. I mean, if they acknowledged it to someone else, publicly (even to just one other person). Sometimes if someone complained about something, they'd see it as a request for them to change it, to do something about it. So if they didn't want to, or weren't able to, or whatever, they'd usually answer with something grouchy and impatient sounding.

When one of them would say "Yeah? Well what do you expect me to do about it?" it took me a while to realize that he really meant that - he really thought I was expecting him to do something about it, and finding my expectation unreasonable, decided to use sarcasm to illustrate this.

I think with some ENTJ's it's a case of they sorta expect themselves to do something, and it kinda hurts for them to see things that are screwed up that they can't make an impact on. So other people pointing it out is kinda like rubbing salt in the wound.

I agree with you.
I think you're onto something there.

 

[Maverick]

My husband is officially ENTJ according to professional testing but I'm just wondering about a couple of things - that I find annoying.

First he tends to justify dumb policies that he has to abide by. For example, today is is going to a business meeting at Ford Headquarters and couldn't drive his car because they won't allow non-Ford vehicles in their parking lot (yes, even for visitors!) - so he took my Ford truck (which sucks because we have 2 ft of snow). So I said something like "just another example of the stupid old-fashioned, blue-collar mentality within this industry that's killing this town.' My husband said 'that's just the way it is!, get over it' It's just one recent example that comes to mind - it's seems like because he must go along with it or live with it - it's OK. But it's not like he sees the world through rose-colored glasses - he's very critical of the world in general. But I guess he thinks it would admit weakness on his part to go along with it if he didn't support it.

Second, and this is sort of along the same lines. Whenever he is with a crowd, he tends to conform to whatever opinion they share. So he's Mr. Conservative with the conservative crowd, Mr. Liberal with the liberal crowd, etc. This may just be his way of schmoozing - but it makes me respect him less.

Is this typical?

It's not typical ENTJ behavior.

Typically, an ENTJ would have answered "yes it's completely stupid". ENTJ's are also typically the types to be assertive about their views and not adapt them depending on the crowd, which they would see as a lack of integrity and weakness.

Your post describes a core TP/TJ dynamic in my experience:

A TP will often criticize something simply in order to state that that is how they see it and see whether the other person agrees. If they meet disagreement and it is argued satisfactorily, then they learn something; if they meet agreement, then they bond yes with the other person over the shared judgment. A TJ, on the other hand, generally criticizes something in order to change it. We are more interested in the expediency of the result than we are in the integrity of the process, and unless we are careful not to project this bottom line mentality onto others, we all too easily read a nonexistent purposefulness into the criticism of a TP.

That would be xxTP versus IxTJ. INTJ's typically extravert if it serves some purpose. ExTJ's are typically straightforward and just speak their mind out. INTJ's have a more machiavellian approach to people an ENTJ's have a more "bulldozer" approach.

 

[INTJMom]

Maybe her husband's extraversion factor isn't that strong.

 

[armstrongvk12]

That would be xxTP versus IxTJ. INTJ's typically extravert if it serves some purpose. ExTJ's are typically straightforward and just speak their mind out. INTJ's have a more machiavellian approach to people an ENTJ's have a more "bulldozer" approach.

This is absolutely correct! For the most part, I would use a bulldozer approach, but with age comes wisdom. I will sometimes try a more reduced bulldozer approach, but I don't take "no" for an answer on anything....I might just try a different approach.

 

[FDG]

My husband is officially ENTJ according to professional testing but I'm just wondering about a couple of things - that I find annoying.

First he tends to justify dumb policies that he has to abide by. For example, today is is going to a business meeting at Ford Headquarters and couldn't drive his car because they won't allow non-Ford vehicles in their parking lot (yes, even for visitors!) - so he took my Ford truck (which sucks because we have 2 ft of snow). So I said something like "just another example of the stupid old-fashioned, blue-collar mentality within this industry that's killing this town.' My husband said 'that's just the way it is!, get over it' It's just one recent example that comes to mind - it's seems like because he must go along with it or live with it - it's OK. But it's not like he sees the world through rose-colored glasses - he's very critical of the world in general. But I guess he thinks it would admit weakness on his part to go along with it if he didn't support it.

Saying "it's just the way it is" it's not equivalent to say "It's the way I'd like it to be". Probably he has no way to change the situation and thus he has to simply acknowledge how things are.

That way, your husband probably feels that in order to achieve his motivation of creating a happy family life--and by making you happy- that to him is his ultimate motivation and because of that- he has to strategically place where his values lie.

Yes, I think that's the point.