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[INTP] INTP's- known to be only the friend...?

darkmoon

New member
Joined
Feb 26, 2008
Messages
32
MBTI Type
INTJ
Possibly, but even when I do throw out some vibes of interest, after people get to know me they don't really bother putting time or effort into pursuing anything romantic with me. I have only encountered people who are all sex, sex, sex & there is always something else with two legs walking across campus that is easier & quicker to catch. I cannot really say I am unhappy with my position though, I am quite pleased to be able to make friends without having to worry about them trying anything funny. But who knows when that could change, I don't want to shove myself into a dark corner and not be able to get out again, haha.

Ah yes. I have myself had pretty much the same experience. Even when I am interested I always miss the romance thing with people too. Always end up with the situation of being either 'just a friend' or a 'just a friend + sex'. :rolli: But never anything that gets to the romantic stage.
 

Judous

New member
Joined
Mar 14, 2008
Messages
79
MBTI Type
INTP
There's one thing about the INTP that I dont fit well with. Im actually very comfortable with my feelings, and im actually very quick to let my significant other know.

After reading through some INTP responses that doesn't seem to be the norm?
 

Seanan

Procrastinating
Joined
Feb 18, 2008
Messages
954
MBTI Type
INTJ
There's one thing about the INTP that I dont fit well with. Im actually very comfortable with my feelings, and im actually very quick to let my significant other know.

After reading through some INTP responses that doesn't seem to be the norm?

Frankly, I think that's misunderstood about INTPs. When one is comfortable, feelings do come out. At least when they aren't being asked or perceiving to be problem solving with that person/people. Also, as one ages, they tend to come out more. But, usually, discussions about INTPs and feelings are slanted to their preferred method of operation in problem solving, communicating, etc. I really haven't seen any discussions about how they just express themselves in relationships. In fact, with those who know types and get to know me, they're usually surprised at how much feeling I can express.... but, those are a very select few I feel "safe" with.
 

edel weiss

New member
Joined
Mar 31, 2008
Messages
147
MBTI Type
ENTP
I have an INTP best friend who's been mooning about her other friend for so long I feel like picking up a frying pan, hitting her on the head and telling her to either make a move or move on. :ranting: It's so annoying.

After reading this thread, I suppose that it's just an INTP thing to do. I mean an immature INTP thing to do, of course.
 

ring the bell

New member
Joined
Jun 10, 2008
Messages
332
I've found that I tend to put myself into the friend zone before I have a chance to be put there. It's probably a reaction mechanism because I am honestly quite scared to open myself up to a guy until I've known him a while and have had an opportunity to feel comfortable enough to explore what my feelings are. This doesn't work out well, though, because then I get stuck in the friend zone. sigh...
 

karenk

New member
Joined
Apr 19, 2008
Messages
160
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I would never be friends with someone I had strong feelings for. I don't think this is a good trait but I don't plan on changing it. I I fell for an INTP at work and when I realized the same thing wasn't coming from him (I have no idea why I had initial optimism) I avoided him. Now I make myself be polite, but would never be more than polite. Luckily I recently lost interest due to recent observations anyway. I still wouldn't be friends with someone I once had feelings for either. Well I think there would be resentment or maybe feelings would come back. (I mean in general in that kind of situation.)
 

01011010

New member
Joined
Jun 22, 2008
Messages
3,916
MBTI Type
INxJ
I have a few INTP friends that get friend zoned with their crushes all the time, because they lack initiative.
 

Simplexity

New member
Joined
Jul 15, 2008
Messages
1,741
MBTI Type
INTP
I have a few INTP friends that get friend zoned with their crushes all the time, because they lack initiative.

I'd have to say this is probably the most accurate statement. I don't think INTP's are manipulative or have ulterior motives so they aren't likely to be friend zoned for negative reasons such as that. I think it just comes down to putting all the analysis and thinking down and being willing and able to act on your feelings once in a while, because more likely than not when someone is consistently around an INTP and shows an interest it is because of genuine interest.
 

Jughead

New member
Joined
Jul 21, 2008
Messages
44
MBTI Type
INTP
Hey, I told my crush I liked him about two days after I discovered that I did.

Nine months later, I am still friendzoned.
 

Mondo

Welcome to Sunnyside
Joined
Mar 1, 2008
Messages
1,992
MBTI Type
EsTP
Enneagram
6w7
I can relate.

I don't know if I would call it 'in love'.

To be honest, it is pretty hard to take action with asking friends out.
I feel a lot more comfortable asking a random girl I met at a party than I would asking a friend out. The random girl doesn't know my vulnerabilities- so that adds to the comfort level obviously and if she's cute- if she says yes- it's :D. If she says no, whatever, it's not like I knew her that well anyway.

I recently asked a friend out. She said no. I'm surprised because she's so fucking clingy to me. It supports my theory that I'm more likely to find love in a bar. This girl acts kind of stupid at times anyway.
 

INA

now! in shell form
Joined
Jun 6, 2008
Messages
3,195
MBTI Type
intp
I recently asked a friend out. She said no . . . This girl acts kind of stupid at times anyway.
On a scale of 1 to 10, just how sour are those grapes? ;)
 

Decon

New member
Joined
Aug 11, 2008
Messages
61
MBTI Type
INFj
Enneagram
9w1
This has happend to me before on numerous occasions. But it's like Jennifer said, it happens to all kinds of people. I've seen all kinds of people get friend zoned. But what's nice is when I do, we usally lose contact inside of a year. So then it's not a burden on me or the other person. Although I did go out with my best friend for a day and a half. But broke it off because her dad didn't approve. But that's starting to push off topic and for another time. :doh: Back to the topic at hand, I'd have to echo Jennifer and say that it happens to a lot of people, not just INTPs.
 

Mondo

Welcome to Sunnyside
Joined
Mar 1, 2008
Messages
1,992
MBTI Type
EsTP
Enneagram
6w7
I have given this topic some thought.
In all of these cases, one is simply not sexually attracted to the other.
This is why it stays at friendship.

People call me shallow for my views but it is true- we are all simply a bunch of horny beings. No relationship ever starts without some form of sexual attraction.
By playing the role as a 'friend' (especially in the case of a man being a friend to a woman)- the woman will normally not be sexually attracted to the man.
This is how things work.
This is how women think- they need that spark when they are around my age.
At the end, a woman may settle for a man she is not sexually attracted to if she feels that man is someone she can live with, keep her safe, and be a friend. She may realize that the men that she finds irresistible are a poor match for her.
The same goes with men and picking less-than-attractive women.

Men and women think the same way in this respect.
However, society encourages women to deny that they have these impulses.
Most do a poor job at proving that they prefer love and companionship over sex.
Society encourages men to relish in what is the truth that sex is #1.
 

lastrailway

New member
Joined
Aug 11, 2007
Messages
508
I think it happens to a lot of people.
It's either a misconception of what romantic interest is and then people confuse close friend relationships with attraction, or a wrongly oriented attraction that ended up in a friendship by mistake.
 

pardo

New member
Joined
May 24, 2008
Messages
51
MBTI Type
istp
INTPs just need to read a few seduction manuals. Falling for a friend (and being stuck there) is a common mistake that an INTP, once knowledgeable about the true workings of sexual attraction, can easily avoid.
Other types like F's are more vulnerable as they will not act by reason but insist in doing what they perceive as right, which in this particular field usually leads them nowhere good.
 

Simplexity

New member
Joined
Jul 15, 2008
Messages
1,741
MBTI Type
INTP
INTPs just need to read a few seduction manuals. Falling for a friend (and being stuck there) is a common mistake that an INTP, once knowledgeable about the true workings of sexual attraction, can easily avoid.
Other types like F's are more vulnerable as they will not act by reason but insist in doing what they perceive as right, which in this particular field usually leads them nowhere good.

haha lol typical INTP fashion analyze it from all perspectives in a detached way before learning and acting in real time.
 
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