[MBTI General] INTJ going for a coffe with a ESFP girl tomorrow. tips?

[Rex]

Been talking now.
Conclusjon is that she uses what ever the time she needs.

I just wait for some time then.



To the summer perhaps.

Time to get my mind of her and onto other things.

Time to get superduper drunk, insult girls that im actually interested in. And get the mandatory drink in my face while i wonder why it happened.

 

[Zarathustra]

Been talking now.
Conclusjon is that she uses what ever the time she needs.

I just wait for some time then.

Wait, did you just ask her how much time she needs before she's willing to have sex with you?

 

[Rex]

haha.
Nope.

More like take your time to recover from that ex. (half year since they splitted)

And when you have settled things.

Gimme a call if you feel like it.

 

[Spamtar]

haha.
Nope.

More like take your time to recover from that ex. (half year since they splitted)

And when you have settled things.

Gimme a call if you feel like it.

 

[Rex]

Im better of that way. Not thinking about her day in and out and get a rejection after months. It would have been destructive.

 

[Spamtar]

Im better of that way. Not thinking about her day in and out and get a rejection after months. It would have been destructive.

...and cementing yourself in the "friend zone". But yes I understand where you are coming from, it would be simplier and more logical sounding if men could simply put women on layaway until they got their heads right but it just doesn't work that way.

 

[Rex]

I refuse to be her medicine and simply get the cap on once i have done my job.

I consider it to be a serous risk with her. She got plenty guy friends. Driving her to IKEA or whatever.

When she had that red day I seriously believed she was rejecting me. i was so sad. "you should take a hint" etc..

And she has never given me a compliment. Never. I gave her.. many

 

[Rex]

crap! Now im in doubt again. :/

She needs some support.

 

[Zarathustra]

Go give *it* to her!

 

[Zarathustra]

Nah, but seriously, I've been in this position with an ESFP who had just been dumped 3-9 months prior, and here's what I recommend:

Bone her! Have fun, and enjoy yourself with her. Get drunk one night back at one of your places, and let nature take its course!

I guarantee you: she's missing the action she was getting before too...

If she doesn't give it to you, then start giving her less attention.

She'll get the clue. And you'll get some ass.

If not, who gives a shit!

 

[Arthur Schopenhauer]

WHAT THE HELL, MAN?!

 

[Zarathustra]

WHAT THE HELL, MAN?!

What.

 

[Rex]

Zaratustra is most likely right but im going to keep me away anyway.

Its not like i have found the holy grail anyway.

 

[Zarathustra]

And so this thread ends on a disappointing note...

 

[Rex]

What the hell happened yersterday?

I think i got struck by some social phobia or something.

 

[Spamtar]

It doesn't sound like you are ready to real her in so just have a good time and don't allow her to get stuck in your head. You are young and there are a lot of fish in the sea and she is just one of them. Be cool but don't allow it to limit other friendships/relationships/good times.

 

[Rex]

I must have triggered a self destruct mechanism in my head or something because im going to meet her again tomorrow.

 

[gromit]

have fun!

 

[Zarathustra]

And so this thread ends on a disappointing note...

...or not!

 

[Rex]

I had a little moment of knowledge yesterday.

So we were talking about musikk and the importance of lyrics. To me their not allways that important more so for her.
Then she suddenly drops the bomb.

When i was a teenager i used to cut myself

I was like no no no damn it!

Then we talked about it for a while. I i asked her if she could explain why she did it. blablabla

Then she said that sometimes she could not even feel the blade when she did it.

Whe know ESFPs like to meet people, doing new things, variation.. in short likes to get stimulated.

That got me thinking because i know another girl way back that used to do that herself.. now... She was a horny girl most likely a ESFP too. very social and outgoing. And so is this ESFP.
She said she had replaced it with sex. So i figured it was a type of stimuli that you got from doing it.

Started googling for the natural painkiller produced in the body.

Now.. the natural pain killer in the body is endorfins. You can not give endorfins directly as they will not breach the blood/brain barrier easily so whe use opium, morfin or heroin etc. Im guessing you could get extra endorfins to work by using MAOIs but thats just a wild teory.

" excitement, laughter, pain, consumption of spicy food, love and orgasm, and they resemble the opiates in their abilities to produce analgesia and a feeling of well-being."
Coffee and chocolade seems to do things too. it was stated somewhere else that they would counter act the effects of acupuncture.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Endorphin


Now we know that if anyone cuts them self they do do it for a high. they are a junkie. And that person needs either excitement, laughter, pain, consumption of spicy food, coffee, chocolade, love or orgasm.