see, i think its the non-highlighted and non-quoted parts that are more cirtical to the argument:
the economical reality and pure pragmatism of the situation for those living within the minimum wage range, these are real considerations and real decisions couples have to make when your potential earnings are that close the cost of a good daycare. in light of a tough economical reality, emotional considerations for your own indeviduality often become second place. that is the reality more and more families are facing, aspecially new families formed by generation Y, the generation to pay back student loans through retail or hamburger flipping. people might be reluctent to become single income families for their children's early childhood, but increasingly more often, they don't have much of a choice, and even when they do they don't see it, because they are deep in survival mode struggling for next month and there's no way for them to look five years ahead. given that reality, its only natural for society to support and encourage rationalizations for that decision & idealize the sacrifice, essetially creating a pet on the back for the people who need it, because saying "i am a homemaker" is a lot nicer then saying "i don't make as much as it costs to not have a homemaker".
You are right that these practical considerations are more important in looking at why people make the choices they do. What I highlighted was the negative effects of these decisions, even when made with the best of intentions, or with little other practical alternative.
to change the way this is going to shape our culture, you need to change the economy. right now this means a large gray area of partial employment and progression in life that people can be in rather then comitting to a all or nothing aproach. look at potential solutions like contributing to free online education that homemakers can do in their free time so that they won't forever stay homemakers, make your own toterials and share your skills, incourage entrapenurship in work from home oppertunities
These are examples of some of the things that homemakers/stay-at-home parents can do to remain engaged with the community and even a former or future profession. All good ideas, made easier now with the internet.
i think it is often a strength of NTs - men or women - to not succumb to cognitive disonnance in the face of emotional disonnance, treating things within larger systems as they are even when it doesn't feel the way people would want it to feel, seen the plausible explenations that other people feel so uncomortable with, that is perhaps more then anywhere else, where we have an advantage in terms of competence.
following that, recognize the popularizing of a cultural justification for a reluctent choice for what it is so often is, and if you choose to throw your two cents at it, help create that bridge where reluctent homemakers with tough economical pressures can walk on.
Like the old joke about the psychologists and the lightbulb, though, the homemaker has to want to change. Yes, I think NTs are more likely both to call a spade a spade, as well as to see what else it is good for, too. This opens the door to unconventional approaches (like stay-at-home dads), and even entrepreneurship.
Being a mother is also an occupation. Someone has to go to the meetings concerning and take responsibility for their children. There are duties along with the joy of relationship. My child is well into adulthood. I had to relate to many in our community on his behave, and I considered this as part of my job. Fo others today share this responsibility, of course, but it was in my job description in our traditional marriage.o.
So if the father, or grandmother, or some other caregiver does some of these things for a child, they are now fulfilling the occupation of "mother"? This is just ridiculous. What does the occupation "father" entail, then? In a traditional family, involvement of fathers was often minimal, and the children suffered as a result. Parents, or whoever is raising a child, take responsibility for the child's needs as part of their relationship.
As for your modern day description, I see what younger people are trying to accomplish based on those 60's outcome of the cultural revolution. Thank you
Is this a feeble attempt at an insult, or an even more feeble attempt at a serious comment? Your meaning eludes me.
Number three fits more into what I do without the time constraints. With modern tools it doesn't take from 9-9 to do housework. But I see homemaking as more than just housework. I also see the realm of the home as reaching beyond my walls and into my community. My community is my home. With that said I will attempt to give you a glimpse of my day.
None of this would be possible if my husband didn't believe that the fruits of his work (his paycheck) belonged equally to the whole family, and that what I do is as important and life sustaining as what he does.
Many traditional women for generations saw their whole community as their home and were not trapped by an overbearing husband. They contributed to their community as technological development freed up their time. Our community would not have a good symphony, an art museum, a soup kitchen, a free clinic, outreach center, tutoring hotline, etc. if it were not for these women. They do pull their own weight in their home. I am only one of many who have seen the benefits to using their time as traditional homemakers.
By the way all of this was said not to place guilt on those who choose a different way, but to enlighten those who had a narrow view of what a traditional role can look like.
What people today consider traditional homemaking is a pale imitation of the original, for the reasons I listed in my previous message. Some of the narrowest views of such a "traditional" lifestyle come from people who are living it. The underscored are all good illustrations of communitiies expecting mothers to solve society's problems for free. The summary of your day is not important when discussing the general case. As I and Mane mentioned, it is possible for homemakers to contribute to the community, and you are obviously one who makes the effort to do so.
It is the highlighted that is most telling. Women in a "traditional" arrangement have, traditionally, been at the mercy of their husband for resources and even permission to participate in the community and use all their gifts. The fact that some husbands were generous and encouraging did nothing for the many women whose husbands were not. Changes in the law and expanded opportunities for women have blunted the harm that an overbearing husband can do. The essential dependence of a homemaker remains, however, since as you say yourself, you could not maintain your chosen lifestyle without his support. You might argue that he could not maintain his own career without your support. While I am sure you support him well, your material support to him would be more easily replaced than his material support to you.
