[INTP] Is this an INTP thing? Or am I just sick?

[ThatsWhatHeSaid]

I'm borderline T/F and E/I. I was more introverted and disconnected when I was younger (I'm 27 now). I used to do this all the time. It's a fantasy. I used to imagine punching teachers out and the fallout (crowds, expulsion, etc.). I sometimes still flirting with the fantasy of crashing my car and dying. I would never do it. Really, never. Even if I was depressed (and I kinda happen to like depression, anyway). But I fantasize about it. It's taboo. Taboos are always fantasized about. In an INTP who's mental life is dominated with possibilities and boundaries, it makes a lot of sense.

Looking back, it's possible that I was angry at someone or myself. That's just the way it leaks out when it filters through the INTP brain. I'm not a therapist, but I would say: it's not a problem, but if you have underlying depression, anger, and sadness, it's worth investigating those things and resolving or making peace with them.

 

[Camelopardalis]

I'm borderline T/F and E/I. I was more introverted and disconnected when I was younger (I'm 27 now). I used to do this all the time. It's a fantasy. I used to imagine punching teachers out and the fallout (crowds, expulsion, etc.). I sometimes still flirting with the fantasy of crashing my car and dying. I would never do it. Really, never. Even if I was depressed (and I kinda happen to like depression, anyway). But I fantasize about it. It's taboo. Taboos are always fantasized about. In an INTP who's mental life is dominated with possibilities and boundaries, it makes a lot of sense.

Looking back, it's possible that I was angry at someone or myself. That's just the way it leaks out when it filters through the INTP brain. I'm not a therapist, but I would say: it's not a problem, but if you have underlying depression, anger, and sadness, it's worth investigating those things and resolving or making peace with them.

I find that it is not just an INTP thing, but then again, I'm borderline J. Strictly speaking, I could be INTx. I think it's more of an 'N' thing to do. When I was in music class, I would fantasize about things like... What would happen if I swing my flute right into someone's face, or say something really not all that pleasant to someone who is trying to be a good friend. I would think about what would happen if I thrust this newly-sharpened pencil into my eyes right now etc etc. I find this only happens when I'm around sharp of destructive objects (but what can I say? tension and anger is more likely if there is a gun in the room, regardless if the person uses it or not, according to some psychologists), but of course I have never really done anything of that sort. I have not shared any of this before, but I am glad to have found a place to do so and know that I'm not actually that messed up as a person. I've always thought that there is something extremely wrong with me.

 

[Camelopardalis]

For years after the Columbine shootings I would imagine the same thing happening at my school. I would make mental plans as to where to duck, how to manipulate everyone into a secure and easily defendable area, then I'd inevitably be shot in the gut just as I throw a blunt object toward the shooter's head. I still make escape plans.

When I was a wee lass I would have fantasies as being an enigmatic and independent orphan, probably being chased by a cruel uncle or the circus I escaped. It was all very romantic.

Same here. I've heard of terrorist groups taking schools hostage. I have imagined being trapped in my classroom with guards in the hallway and my classmates and I would plot our escape, first by memorizing the school's main plans, then get the 'secret corridors' and rooms that we discovered, and is largely neglected, then working our way through pipes, etc, using shattered glass to... Ok. I'll stop here. This is getting long.

 

[MacGuffin]

It seems the INTPs imagine doing things to others, and INTJs imagine things being done to them.

Ne vs. Ni?