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[ENTJ] ENTJ, I'm suspicious of you.

Thalassa

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May 3, 2009
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You can be replaced if you are too much trouble.
If you need to cause trouble, ever, do it when he has more deeply rooted feelings for you.
Otherwise, he'll move on.

Re: "You can be replaced if you are too much trouble."

What the fuck does that even mean? I mean that's reasonable to say if she's playing some push-pull game with him, or cheating on him, but if she happens to have personality quirks or expresses feelings that annoy him, he'll just shut down and get rid of her, amirite?

It's a good mindset to make someone paranoid and NOT want to pursue anything. "Hey I don't even know what I did, but I scared you off because I wasn't a Stepford wife!"

:shock:
 

HotpinkHeatwave

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Nov 30, 2009
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379
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ENFP
To the OP.

Hey. You sooner need to be wary of your own intentions, his are quite clear.
If he said he wants to care for you, he does. That doesn't mean a one night stand.
Tease or treat him badly, though, and he will resent you. NTJs hate failures.
He's been honest about what he wants. Be that in return.
Don't play games, don't screw up.
If you are interested, that is. I guess you would know by now.
If you don't, make up your mind about things now.
One thing is for sure, in the current state of your relationship, you are expendable.
You can be replaced if you are too much trouble.
If you need to cause trouble, ever, do it when he has more deeply rooted feelings for you.
Otherwise, he'll move on.
Like you said, he's a busy guy and doesn't have time for a lot of crap like playing games and not knowing what someone wants.

Not saying, however, that you should tell him you love him and marry him within the week.
Just let him know that you are interested in him and would like to get to know him better, or something.
Build it from there. Just cut the crap. No offense meant.

Hmm. Not sure why you felt the need to add the 'no offense meant' line. I'm not offended easily.

You are correct on all your points.

Thank you.
 

HotpinkHeatwave

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Re: "You can be replaced if you are too much trouble."

What the fuck does that even mean? I mean that's reasonable to say if she's playing some push-pull game with him, or cheating on him, but if she happens to have personality quirks or expresses feelings that annoy him, he'll just shut down and get rid of her, amirite?

It's a good mindset to make someone paranoid and NOT want to pursue anything. "Hey I don't even know what I did, but I scared you off because I wasn't a Stepford wife!"

:shock:

Remember though, ENTJs are honest. I'm sure if I was doing something that annoyed him/he disliked, he would come right out and say it. I'm surprised he hasn't said anything yet.

He did however say he has never met a girl like me before (which I honestly believe - I am quite out there). So I cannot be THAT easily replaced. ;)
 

Thalassa

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Remember though, ENTJs are honest. I'm sure if I was doing something that annoyed him/he disliked, he would come right out and say it. I'm surprised he hasn't said anything yet.

He did however say he has never met a girl like me before (which I honestly believe - I am quite out there). So I cannot be THAT easily replaced. ;)


Yeah...it's just that...on one hand I DO understand the sentiment. I can see the guy not wanting to be led on or fucked with or lied to or cheated on. All of that is totally reasonable, of course. In that sense, cut the crap is highly appropriate.

It's just the way he said it...conjured up images in my head of...be seen, but not heard. Like evaluating a woman as an object rather than a person with thoughts, wants, and needs of her own. It could be a completely erronous interpretation on my part.
 

HotpinkHeatwave

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379
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So innocent. You don't realize that you are already in the palm of his hands.

But, seriously, is it not ok to experience this "hurt"ness? Isn't it a natural process one must overcome and grow upon?

Palm of his hands? Definitely not. I don't see how that could even be possible.

And I have been hurt. I have overcome it, and grown upon it, and this is what i've learned - Build a wall, and don't bring it down for ANYONE. Unless they, for sure, can be trusted.

I do not want for it to happen again, so no, it is not an okay thing to be hurt.
 

HotpinkHeatwave

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Yeah...it's just that...on one hand I DO understand the sentiment. I can see the guy not wanting to be led on or fucked with or lied to or cheated on. All of that is totally reasonable, of course. In that sense, cut the crap is highly appropriate.

It's just the way he said it...conjured up images in my head of...be seen, but not heard. Like evaluating a woman as an object rather than a person with thoughts, wants, and needs of her own. It could be a completely erronous interpretation on my part.

I agree. The statement 'you can be replaced' gives the impression that I'm just a thing - no human sentiment. But it is also true. I personally cannot be replaced - there is no one like me - however, I, as in being a friend, can be replaced.
 

Valiant

Courage is immortality
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Re: "You can be replaced if you are too much trouble."

What the fuck does that even mean? I mean that's reasonable to say if she's playing some push-pull game with him, or cheating on him, but if she happens to have personality quirks or expresses feelings that annoy him, he'll just shut down and get rid of her, amirite?

It's a good mindset to make someone paranoid and NOT want to pursue anything. "Hey I don't even know what I did, but I scared you off because I wasn't a Stepford wife!"

:shock:

Don't kid yourself, there are such things as "good things" and "bad things".
There is also a thing called "self-improvement".
You don't get better by giving in to freakishly annoying "personality quirks" like avoidant behavior, not being honest, not getting things done etc,
Those are things that one has to work upon.
Just like I have my things that I have to work upon.
Honesty and straightforwardness aren't in that category, though.
That's what this is all about, and that is something we can all achieve.
Something we should be expected to achieve.


Hmm. Not sure why you felt the need to add the 'no offense meant' line. I'm not offended easily.

You are correct on all your points.

Thank you.


I just tend to come off as very brash when I am being honest.
Good thing you took it like I meant it. Thank you, too.
That being said, I think that ENTJ is potentially going to be a lucky bastard to have you.
Good luck with this endeavor. :yes:
 

Thalassa

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Don't kid yourself, there are such things as "good things" and "bad things".
There is also a thing called "self-improvement".
You don't get better by giving in to freakishly annoying "personality quirks" like avoidant behavior, not being honest, not getting things done etc,
Those are things that one has to work upon.
Just like I have my things that I have to work upon.
Honesty and straightforwardness aren't in that category, though.
That's what this is all about, and that is something we can all achieve.
Something we should be expected to achieve.

I think I'm going to follow Lexicon's lead and just marry a cat. :dry:

It's not even that I so strongly disagree with the bulk of what you've said...sure, some things are completely intolerable. But all human beings deserve a little breathing room, a bit of room to be human and make mistakes and not be perfect.

The way you word things reminds me a corporate hiring manual for Wal-Mart or something, not relationship advice.
 

HotpinkHeatwave

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379
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I just tend to come off as very brash when I am being honest.
Good thing you took it like I meant it. Thank you, too.
That being said, I think that ENTJ is potentially going to be a lucky bastard to have you.
Good luck with this endeavor. :yes:


Why thank you. Again. :)
 

INTP

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He has been very sincere - compliments me, shows concern, and seems to care. He has told me he wants to be the one to 'make me happy, and be there for me'.

how do you know that he is sincere? that other stuff is like straight from the back cover of the bullshitting 101. im not saying that hes faking anything, im just saying that those things alone means nothing.
 

HotpinkHeatwave

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how do you know that he is sincere? that other stuff is like straight from the back cover of the bullshitting 101. im not saying that hes faking anything, im just saying that those things alone means nothing.

Hmm. This is true. That is what I want to know - if he is being sincere or not, aside from what his attentions are. I would like to think he is being honest.. But he could be trying to purposely give me a false impression, for his use.
 

INTP

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Hmm. This is true. That is what I want to know - if he is being sincere or not, aside from what his attentions are. I would like to think he is being honest.. But he could be trying to purposely give me a false impression, for his use.

but its pretty much impossible to judge that from what you wrote on the first post, i cba to read others because its 3:30 am and i want to go to sleep soon
 

Thalassa

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Hmm. This is true. That is what I want to know - if he is being sincere or not, aside from what his attentions are. I would like to think he is being honest.. But he could be trying to purposely give me a false impression, for his use.

Any guy could do that, of any type, really...that's not a type thing, I don't think, when it really comes down to it. I'm sure an immature ENTJ could see getting laid as a game to be played, something to be "achieved" without complete honesty. That's not a type thing, really. The only things that would vary would be ultimate motive and methods utilized.
 

guesswho

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Ask him if he is part of a satanic cult.

If he denies it, he's evil.
 

FDG

pathwise dependent
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What's the problem? He's probably attracted to you, yeah. It's not like we have plans for our relationships, too. He is just trying to, I don't know, date you? Something like that?
 

Ghost of the dead horse

filling some space
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Sep 7, 2007
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Don't be suspicious! Just ask sillysapienne how to push our buttons. You'll easily just totally rule us, then, and you can let go of all doubt.
 

corey_vann

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To the OP.

Hey. You sooner need to be wary of your own intentions, his are quite clear.
If he said he wants to care for you, he does. That doesn't mean a one night stand.
Tease or treat him badly, though, and he will resent you. NTJs hate failures.
He's been honest about what he wants. Be that in return.
Don't play games, don't screw up.
If you are interested, that is. I guess you would know by now.
If you don't, make up your mind about things now.
One thing is for sure, in the current state of your relationship, you are expendable.
You can be replaced if you are too much trouble.
If you need to cause trouble, ever, do it when he has more deeply rooted feelings for you.
Otherwise, he'll move on.
Like you said, he's a busy guy and doesn't have time for a lot of crap like playing games and not knowing what someone wants.

Not saying, however, that you should tell him you love him and marry him within the week.
Just let him know that you are interested in him and would like to get to know him better, or something.
Build it from there. Just cut the crap. No offense meant.

WORD.
 

Lark

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Jun 21, 2009
Messages
29,569
Well, I am taking his type into consideration. I know that ENTJs are straightforward and honest. Usually.

I'm afraid of being hurt, bottom line. I don't want to open myself up to someone, and have then run away, with a good reason or not. And you're right, maybe he doesn't want a relationship. He KNOWS I don't want one. He probably just likes me, bottom line. Would it be uncommon for an ENTJ to want an open relationship?

I'm not sure that I'd generalise. I'm ENTJ and I'd not want an open relationship, if my partner cheated or strayed it would depend on a lot of factors as to whether or not I'd give them their marching orders but it would be likely that I would.
 
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