[NT] for the womenz

[hilo]

or men, if you want to really stretch your imagination...

Today I got an email from a friend which had an unfortunate amount of detail about her home birth of her second child. I was somewhat disgusted and pretty much disturbed by the whole description. Although I've been theoretically planning on kids, the lack of complete delight with the concept of pregnancy has been bothering me lately as more of my friends are having families and my own is pressuring me to "get on with it".

I know women typically supposed to have some sort of "clock" or biological urge, but the older I get the weirder I feel about the whole pregnancy thing. I really don't like the idea of a parasitic human living in my body and then having to force them out my nether regions. Regardless of pros/cons of having children, any sane position on this part has to be that it sucks!

I'd like to know what other NT ladies feel about this.

 

[Redbone]

I have four children.

I wish I could have laid an egg and sat on each and every time.

I resented being pregnant; it felt like a very primitive state. It reminded me that I had a body, I couldn't ignore it and I actually had to take good care of myself. I'm not good at that so it forced me to make major changes.

I have known women to have a connection with their passenger from the very beginning. I never had any positive feelings until around the 7th month of pregnancy (but one's state of mind changes drastically in the final months). It finally dawned on me that the little person would be here soon. It also helped that mothers can discern some of their character by that time, too. You can sense things like if they are active, sleep a lot, like being comfortable...I know it sounds strange but it happens.

Birth. It's messy...sometimes really messy. I dislike that, too, but you kinda don't care while it's going on. Your body knows what it's doing and it just takes over. That can be highly unpleasant or you can experience relief from it.

I exercised a lot of control in learning and then putting into practice the things I had learned to ease the process of pregnancy, childbirth, and post-partum. It helped immensely...

...but I still wished I could have laid an egg.

And yes, you will get all mushy when you see that squishy little face. You can always say it's hormonal.

 

[hilo]

I have four children.

I wish I could have laid an egg and sat on each and every time.

I resented being pregnant; it felt like a very primitive state.

I can relate to this if it is anything like what I feel when I am really really sick or when my body just says "no" to something.

Thanks for sharing your experiences...

I wonder if NT women have fewer kids? I know INTP are married the least. Hmmm.

 

[Salomé]

Today I got an email from a friend which had an unfortunate amount of detail about her home birth of her second child. I was somewhat disgusted and pretty much disturbed by the whole description. Although I've been theoretically planning on kids, the lack of complete delight with the concept of pregnancy has been bothering me lately as more of my friends are having families and my own is pressuring me to "get on with it".

I know women typically supposed to have some sort of "clock" or biological urge, but the older I get the weirder I feel about the whole pregnancy thing. I really don't like the idea of a parasitic human living in my body and then having to force them out my nether regions. Regardless of pros/cons of having children, any sane position on this part has to be that it sucks!

I'd like to know what other NT ladies feel about this.

It was probably an NT woman that invented surrogacy.
I can't imagine that there is anything that could persuade me to willingly go through such an ordeal.
And then to be lumbered with a screaming brat at the end of it all? Um...no thanks.

 

[Totenkindly]

Yeah, birth is just pretty much full of shit and piss and blood. You can't glamorize it, the movies and TV shows are laughable. And labor can be a bitch.

Personally, I'd give just about anything to be able to carry and birth a baby... but pretty much what you describe is pretty typical from what I've seen from NT women on the matter. Probably the least likely archetype to want to be pregnant or to enjoy being pregnant.

It would definitely be an ordeal to care for a baby for some number of months after and be on a three-hour sleep schedule and lose your autonomy, especially if you've never had a kid before. It is basically selling a few years of your life away, so if you don't think there are perks/benefits to it, it would be an ordeal.

 

[MonkeyGrass]

I'm a birth worker and a home birther, and, I gotta tell you...

I'm not a huge fan of being pregnant myself. Love the feeling of "Whoa. My body made that." Hate the feeling of an alien being moving in my skin. ::skeeve:: Love watching newborns blink at their mothers in wonder. Hate the gore.

Birth wasn't a horrid experience for me; actually, I found it spiritual and empowering. Lots of thinking type women tend to tolerate it for the end product. Both responses to the process are normal and totally fine. Not at all indicative of the kind of relationship you'll have with your kids.

 

[Mr. Sherlock Holmes]

Hilo?

 

[munwai]

Pushing something out? I reserve that only for bowel movements.

I would love to adopt.

 

[hilo]

Both responses to the process are normal and totally fine. Not at all indicative of the kind of relationship you'll have with your kids.

Thanks

 

[Vie]

I can't wait to pop out a bunch of kids.

 

[skylights]

not NT, but fwiw, the potential complications of pregnancy seem really unpleasant to me. and adopting makes so much sense - help overpopulation, save a kid who's going to have a fairly unpleasant future otherwise, skip nine months of morning sickness, etc...

but in some ways i'd like to watch my DNA live on... lol

 

[Salomé]

Hate the feeling of an alien being moving in my skin. ::skeeve::

Oh God, really? I thought it was only horrifying from the outsider's perspective...
Fuck, that really made me nauseous. If I didn't want one before this thread, I certainly wouldn't now. :/

 

[Amargith]

I sometimes...sometimes wonder what it would be like to hold this little creature that you made yourself, to know it's fully trusting and dependent on you and feel the bond you form. And then I am confronted with the next screaming kid and remember my friends pregnancy and shiver at the thought of running around like an elephant for nine months, throwing up three months long, having your back cramp at you not to mention the football sized head you're supposed to push out *there* at the end of it.

I dunno..I too wonder if adoption isn't an option. But then I freak out about the sheer responsibility and the fact that you *have* to keep it up. No escape. Not to mention that my INTJ is like: no kids is fine, but if you have *any*, they're mine!

*sigh*

 

[strawberries]

although it's absolutely ick and scary i think i can come to terms with the physical pregnancy/birth bit - the notion of having to give up free time, energy, disposable income, spontaneity, career advancement and loud sex is scarier.

there's also no guarantee you'll have an awesome child. i'd want a cool one.

 

[Totenkindly]

I dunno..I too wonder if adoption isn't an option. But then I freak out about the sheer responsibility and the fact that you *have* to keep it up. No escape.

Yeah. That part is "P" hell -- at least before the fact. Once you have them, they're yours / connected to you... even when they're no longer with you. It's scary. Then again, marriage scared me that badly too. Big decisions that you can't [easily] escape nor can totally predict what will happen = anxiety.

 

[Salomé]

there's also no guarantee you'll have an awesome child. i'd want a cool one.

There's little doubt that my offspring would be awesome.

I'd seriously consider being an egg donor. But beyond that, evolution can kiss my ass. (goodbye)

 

[hilo]

Pushing something out? I reserve that only for bowel movements.

I would love to adopt.

ha!

Yeah my current "plan" (and let's be honest for a P that means "thought I had yesterday") is to have one for the gene continuity thing and then go with adoption. It's really not like the world needs (lots) more humans.

 

[hilo]

Yeah. That part is "P" hell -- at least before the fact. Once you have them, they're yours / connected to you... even when they're no longer with you. It's scary. Then again, marriage scared me that badly too. Big decisions that you can't [easily] escape nor can totally predict what will happen = anxiety.

Truth.

 

[INA]

I like babies. I think I'd enjoy having the feeling of an alien being growing and moving inside; that part sounds like a fun adventure. What scares me is pushing it out (or getting it cut out) and then having ultimate responsibility for and being tethered to another person for at least 18 years. I HATE demands being made on my time and energy. Never say never, though.

 

[Salomé]

I think I'd enjoy having the feeling of an alien being growing and moving inside

How alien would it have to be?