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[NT] "Wow, you're smart"

redacted

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It normally feels like it creates a hierarchy I don't want or else is trying to buy me. Sometimes it seems to translate to "I'm so ditzy" or "I'm so stupid" also, especially when it is said about something that I figure wasn't that genius to begin with. In those cases I seem to assume the conversation has little potential and we probably can't discuss things in any meaningful way anyway. I normally still try to find common ground somewhere, but I prefer people who show an interest and try to learn, rather than label something as above them (which the comment feels like it does). So it could depend on what follows. "Wow, you're smart. Teach me!" would probably pass and get you some way. "Wow, you're smart. I could never do that." equals I feel like flattering you while taking zero interest in what you love or do.

Whoa, it seems to me like you're reading way too far into this.

If someone says to me "whoa, you're smart", I take it as a compliment, because it is. It doesn't make things unequal whatsoever, since my intelligence has nothing to do with my success in life. I doubt I'm higher in that category than most of the people I'm talking to. My intelligence might give me a general advantage in certain areas, but definitely not others. It's not the only spectrum to rate a person's worth or even that important of one.
 

animenagai

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What a negative way to react to a compliment :/
 

animenagai

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lol everyone taking it as an insult. I would be quite happy to hear someone calling me smart. I think people are making too much of this 'wow' word. It's so glass half empty.
 

BlueScreen

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Whoa, it seems to me like you're reading way too far into this.

At least we agree on something. ;)

It wasn't about worth. It feels like the person who says it is selling out their own potential and not striving for anything more than what they currently have. You are right that it might not be everyone's area though. I still find exploring and understanding is at the centre of my interests, or at least the ones that move me more deeply. If for them it is a box to tick named "smart", I don't really feel close and connected.
 

Vamp

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lol everyone taking it as an insult. I would be quite happy to hear someone calling me smart. I think people are making too much of this 'wow' word. It's so glass half empty.

When people say it to me they usually mean it "wow, you're different/weird" as if being "smart" is some kind of specialty that only freaks have.





That was negative, you're right.
 

Stevo

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For some, compliments are malignant.

It's not guaranteed, but the majority of compliments I get both make me feel pressured and like a fraud.

I agree with this. If somebody starts complimenting me a lot, it always makes me feel uncomfortable and like I owe them something now. But I don't really know how to compliment them back, even though I feel like I should. So I just act really noncommittal and awkward, I guess. I mean, I can take a compliment here and there, but if someone just keeps going at it it smacks of insincerity. Also, I try to avoid as much as possible having an inflated self-image, so I tend to view generous compliment-giving as a dangerous thing.

But if somebody I respect does tell me I'm an intelligent person, it does make me feel pretty good about myself. That is probably the highest genuine compliment on my list.
 

Fluffywolf

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It's said to me at times. Even I have my moments.

I get a sense of relief when meant as a compliment, recognition is always nice. But it's said more often like "Wow, you're smart, why don't you do more with it! I know what I'd do if I was as smart as you!". And that annoys me.
 

Blown Ghost

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I consider it being a little too earnest to say so, I try to laugh it off.
 

Amethyst

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Usually dumber people say this to me, and it'll be because I'm taking advanced classes or something else stupid that doesn't relate to my intelligence than it does my work ethic.

I've had people think I'm actually mentally retarded, it was pretty bad.
 

kyuuei

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:3 Usually I get this compliment from myself in a sarcastic tone about something not-so-smart-at-all I just did. :laugh:
 

Rebe

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"Wow, you're smart."

Me: wow, you're not smart at all because all i said was very basic stuff
 

visaisahero

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"Wow, you're smart."

I don't really think so! Perhaps I'm just more well-read, and spend more time and energy thinking in general. I've had lots of practice, that's all. You would be just as "smart" if not "smarter" if you made a conscious and sustained effort, I'm sure!
 

Kenneth Almighty

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Most of the time it feels like people are setting me up, which is why I generally deny all allocations towards that end.

There are people much more brilliant than me and putting me in their ranks is mistaken.

Besides, it's much more genial when I self-depreceating.
 

Kenneth Almighty

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"Wow, you're smart."

I don't really think so! Perhaps I'm just more well-read, and spend more time and energy thinking in general. I've had lots of practice, that's all. You would be just as "smart" if not "smarter" if you made a conscious and sustained effort, I'm sure!

You're probably in denial :p Feynman kept this up for ages but we all know it's a farce.
 
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