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[NT] "Wow, you're smart"

MonkeyGrass

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"Nah, I just read. A LOT. "

or,

"No, I'm just really good at borrowing, rearranging and connecting the ideas of those who are actually really smart. "
 

Windigo

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Depends on how smart I think the other person is. If I think he-she's very clever, then it'll surely feel as a compliment.

Exactly . . . otherwise it's, "Ah . . . yes, well . . . " awkward.

I haven't heard that one much since school. People who are smart themselves and want to offer a compliment usually say something more specific ("you know alot about X"; or "I'm impressed how well you solved Y problem"). "Wow, you're smart" is usually spoken by people who aren't "smart" enough to respond more meaningfully to whatever was said or done, and often bespeaks a misplaced sense of awe, or even an attempt at empty flattery.

I like it much better when people are specific with their praise. I try to do the same for them, because it seems a lot less like BS then.
 

Mondo

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I dunno, I typically use it sarcastically.
I'll use it when someone makes an obvious point, knows it's obvious, but proceeds to make it sound like it's profound.

I'd agree that it depends on the situation. If I do something I feel reflects my competence very well and someone comments on that- I'll take it as a compliment. Otherwise, who cares?
 

Chunes

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I find it pretty depressing. It's a constant reminder of how dimwitted so many people around me are. And of how little society values intelligence.
 

Thalassa

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I think it disturbs me that my family considers me "the smart one" and I do also hear it a lot from other people...and I'm not even the smartest person I know, I know people who are much more intellectual, people who are in grad school, or who have pursued PhDs...I don't know if some people have ever even met a highly educated NT if they think that *I* am one of the smartest people they know.

Not to put myself down, but I see things on a sliding scale, and I consider myself intelligent, yet I don't understand why other people are so impressed with me sometimes. It is kind of depressing to think about what that says about society in general.
 
R

ReflecTcelfeR

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I don't really know how to respond because to me usually what I've done doesn't seem that complicated... That isn't arrogant at all. I may reply with a simply thanks as well.
 

rav3n

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"Wow, you're smart" falls into the same sarcastic category with "no shit sherlock". The appropriate response would be "Thanks. I'd be happy to help you tie your shoelaces. :)".
 
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It's annoying, as it usually indicates a narrow outlook on intelligence.
 

Beorn

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"No, I'm just really good at borrowing, rearranging and connecting the ideas of those who are actually really smart. "
ha. I like this.

I've had to learned to just say thank you and leave it at that. I'm such a perfectionist and have such a high view of what is intelligent that I rarely think of anything I say as being terribly smart. Other people may disagree with my ideas on what is smart and if they're kind enough to complement me then I may as well be grateful and try not to look like an aloof ass.

edit: Just saw this was in the NT Rationale... that was dumb. :D
 

Uytuun

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I find it pretty depressing.

Me too. Confronts me with isolation. "hey, you're smart, little parrot (as often smart=knowing stuff to people), show me some smart people tricks"
 

Coriolis

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"Wow, you're smart" falls into the same sarcastic category with "no shit sherlock". The appropriate response would be "Thanks. I'd be happy to help you tie your shoelaces. :)".
Delightful! Should have thought of that one myself (guess I'm not so smart).
 

Such Irony

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I only feel good about getting that compliment if the person saying it is reasonably intelligent. Otherwise I just shrug my shoulders and think so what? Unfortunately, some of the people who say I'm so smart aren't the brightest bulbs on the tree.
 

Magic Poriferan

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On multple occasions now, I have not been told that I am smart, but actually asked how I am so smart. It's a horrible question. How can I answer?

First, I say that I'm not necessarily so smart, and I have weaknesses. But I know that's not what they want to hear. They think I'm being falsely modest and at any rate are looking for advice.

So second, I have to try and come up with a credible explanation. I typically say it was the way I was home-schooled, the fact that I had no friends, and wasn't made to do chores, and was simply left with tons of free time in a house full of books. Oh, and one parent was not involved and the other made everything into a confusing open-ended question instead of telling me what to believe.

But that's no good, because it reflects the lengthy past, thus not functioning as advice useful now. So going for broke I usually say for them to study logic and critical thinking and hone a dispassionate temperament and they'll be on the right track.

Then I walk away thinking "I have little idea if what I just told them has merit, but they wouldn't take 'I don't know' for an answer".

It doesn't make me any more confident in my intelligence. It makes me feel bad for the other person because I know they must be looking down on themselves. It makes me feel like there is at least a perceived standard I now have to live up to. And it forces me to go through that awkward routine. There's nothing good about it.
 

redacted

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How do you react when someone says this to you?

It doesn't feel like a compliment to me unless I just did something I think is clever.

A shrug and an "apparently so" is my usual response before changing the subject.

I always act embarrassed, but secretly I love it. Just being honest :)
 

Magic Poriferan

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I always act embarrassed, but secretly I love it. Just being honest :)

For some, compliments are malignant.

It's not guaranteed, but the majority of compliments I get both make me feel pressured and like a fraud.
 

redacted

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For some, compliments are malignant.

It's not guaranteed, but the majority of compliments I get both make me feel pressured and like a fraud.

Jesus, that's horrible! Why are you so often around such manipulative people?

Edit: oops, can't read. (in other words, i'm stoned)

2nd Edit: have you heard of impostor syndrome?
 

BlueScreen

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It normally feels like it creates a hierarchy I don't want or else is trying to buy me. Sometimes it seems to translate to "I'm so ditzy" or "I'm so stupid" also, especially when it is said about something that I figure wasn't that genius to begin with. In those cases I seem to assume the conversation has little potential and we probably can't discuss things in any meaningful way anyway. I normally still try to find common ground somewhere, but I prefer people who show an interest and try to learn, rather than label something as above them (which the comment feels like it does). So it could depend on what follows. "Wow, you're smart. Teach me!" would probably pass and get you some way. "Wow, you're smart. I could never do that." equals I feel like flattering you while taking zero interest in what you love or do.
 
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