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[INTJ] kind, polite INTJs?

musicheck

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Dec 7, 2008
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61
MBTI Type
INTJ
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5
I'm in need of advice. Although anyone who knows me well thinks I'm fundamentally a nice person, on a superficial level I am not particularly. While there are pragmatic take-over-the-world-and-get-rich reasons to change this, I also simply believe that people who take a small exta minute to consider others live intrinsically better lives. Any INTJs (or others with advice) out there with stories about how to overcome the lingering, counterproductive oh-my-god-this-person-is-an-idiot sentiment?
 

Moiety

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Realize being super intelligent prevents you from being one of those idiots...but there are other things that make you an idiot.

Realize that after you ticked all your professional goals on your life's checklist, you'll have to think of something else to do.

Realize that money, power, technology, science all suck ass in the end. And there are many things left when you've taken those off of one's life....


...or are there?


Don't try to be polite. Politeness is bad. Try to be kind though. But genuinely so. Understand why it's good to be kind. Not just for others...why would it be good for you? You'd get laid more often? Not a good answer. You'd have more friends? Not a good answer either. Try to dig into that.
 

Moonstone3

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INTJ
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9, 5
I got over it today, with a regular customer that is always a douche. He's very to the point and factual, overbearingly so. I stopped for a second and thought, 'he is simply having a business transaction, do not take it personal.' And then I even thought, 'he is an INTJ, just like me. Is this how people see us?' Than I took a step father and thought,'I'll cut him some slack, mirror his behavior-as being a douche-I mean business transactor-was probably what we both wanted, and all was well.
Sometimes I just cut people slack because who knows, they may be having a bad day.
 

Thalassa

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sx
Because handling people with politeness and basic decency is a skill that could bring potentially less drama, less hassle, and greater efficiency to your life. Use your Te-Fi to develop pseudo-Fe for practical reasons.

There are also many ethical reasons why you should do so, of course, and I think Moonstone3 already put it quite well.
 

CrystalViolet

lab rat extraordinaire
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sx/sp
I like to pick my battles, generally. One person being an arse isn't worth the drama. Especially if they are small change in your life.
It's the people who have a bigger influence on your life that you worry about, even then if you can, you handle it diplomatically.
People are more willing to be accomadating out of friendship and respect, then they are out of bitterness, and dislike.
 

Weber

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Apr 5, 2010
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202
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INTJ
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Realize that money, power, technology, science all suck ass in the end.

:rolleyes:

Right, the meaning of life is clearly found in the platitudes of this thread rather than in any kind of genuine understanding and utility.
 

Moiety

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:rolleyes:

Right, the meaning of life is clearly found in the platitudes of this thread rather than in any kind of genuine understanding and utility.

Don't know why you isolated that comment. The rest was all my opinion too.
 

animenagai

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My father's an INTX and he always says "just because you're really smart, it doesn't mean that everyone else is an idiot" and I think it's something a lot of INTJ's need to hear. There's an average IQ out there of 100, if you are well over the mark, congratulations but please take that as what it is. YOU are the who's different, don't fault everyone else because of it.
 

Mr. Sherlock Holmes

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I tolerate stupidity, but I still notice and dislike it.

Same. I have an awful habit of trying to make really dumb people less dumb, only to be dissapointed when they continue to be dumb. Which is dumb in itself, but hey!:shrug:
 

Valiant

Courage is immortality
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ENTJ
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8w7
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sx/so
Same. I have an awful habit of trying to make really dumb people less dumb, only to be dissapointed when they continue to be dumb. Which is dumb in itself, but hey!:shrug:

Yeah... I have problems with this as well.
I have always wondered what it is that makes some people read and learn, while some people just sit out their lives watching brainless TV shows like The Simpsons.

Some INTJ description, personalitypage or typelogic I think, says that INTJs build systems for learning.
That's apparently how we are able to amass relevant information and integrate it into the big picture of things.

What if some people don't have that, or just some really rudimentary form of it that makes the learning less fun?
What if, to them, learning about science, history etc more resembles memorizing random numbers and facts not linked to anything?
Memorizing information is vastly different from understanding the information, turning it into knowledge and integrating it into ones perception about how the world works.
 

entropie

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Yeah... I have problems with this as well.
I have always wondered what it is that makes some people read and learn, while some people just sit out their lives watching brainless TV shows like The Simpsons.

Some INTJ description, personalitypage or typelogic I think, says that INTJs build systems for learning.
That's apparently how we are able to amass relevant information and integrate it into the big picture of things.

What if some people don't have that, or just some really rudimentary form of it that makes the learning less fun?
What if, to them, learning about science, history etc more resembles memorizing random numbers and facts not linked to anything?
Memorizing information is vastly different from understanding the information, turning it into knowledge and integrating it into ones perception about how the world works.

That sounds a little bit crazy and made me wet my pants :D
 

Mr. Sherlock Holmes

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Yeah... I have problems with this as well.
I have always wondered what it is that makes some people read and learn, while some people just sit out their lives watching brainless TV shows like The Simpsons.

Some INTJ description, personalitypage or typelogic I think, says that INTJs build systems for learning.
That's apparently how we are able to amass relevant information and integrate it into the big picture of things.

What if some people don't have that, or just some really rudimentary form of it that makes the learning less fun?
What if, to them, learning about science, history etc more resembles memorizing random numbers and facts not linked to anything?
Memorizing information is vastly different from understanding the information, turning it into knowledge and integrating it into ones perception about how the world works.

Yeah well that's basically most SPs. But it's not just memorising. Most don't like learning much at all. And yes, that's a generalisation.

But us NTPs can be a bit like that sometimes. I HATE rote learning and dates in History and all that. When a subject isn't one of my main interests, learning it is not fun. This is why I am very ignorant on some things such as politics.
 

Rebe

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A person shouldn't be regarded solely as intelligent or unintelligent. A person is made up of many strong and weak points, good and bad points. Some people are scrutinized for being too smart, some people not smart enough, depending on the situation. In social situations, it's sometimes better to dumb down a bit whereas in professional situations, it's almost always better to be/appear smart. This has been said many times; there are different kinds of intelligence and the world needs all of those kinds. Just excellence in science isn't enough. Some people are better with books, others with people, others with objects ... It's rare to find someone intelligent in all aspects of life. Just because they are stupid or appear stupid in one situation doesn't mean they have nothing to offer or that they don't have a sense of humor or a sense of individuality or warmness. Qualities that are admirable and important. See beyond your idea of intelligent. If they are being blatantly stupid, just ignore it if you can. No need to ruffle your own feathers trying to change someone whose years/experiences made them stupid (about a specific something). Ignore, avoid, pick your battles as someone said. And try to see the good. I choose to ignore instead of wasting time and energy on people I can't change. What I said above may be too optimistic...just ignore if it's more trouble than it's worth. Stupid people with their stupid ideas exist. If you can't win something, change something, just step over it.
 

Mr. Sherlock Holmes

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A person shouldn't be regarded as intelligent or unintelligent. A person is made up of many strong and weak points, good and bad points. Some people are scrutinized for being too smart, some people not smart enough, depending on the situation. In social situations, it's sometimes better to dumb down a bit whereas in professional situations, it's almost always better to be/appear smart. This has been said many times; there are different kinds of intelligence and the world needs all of those kinds. Just excellence in science isn't enough. Some people are better with books, others with people, others with objects ... It's rare to find someone intelligent in all aspects of life. Just because they are stupid or appear stupid in one situation doesn't mean they have nothing to offer or that they don't have a sense of humor or a sense of individuality or warmness. Qualities that are admirable and important. See beyond your idea of intelligent. If they are being blatantly stupid, just ignore it if you can. No need to ruffle your own feathers trying to change someone whose years/experiences made them stupid (about a specific something). Ignore, avoid, pick your battles as someone said. And try to see the good. I choose to ignore instead of wasting time and energy on people I can't change.

Yes, but you're an INFP.:D


But seriously, these people I'm talking about are just astoundingly slow on the uptake. Doesn't even matter what you're talking about. I'm actually not that great at understanding people in practice (theory is different), yet when I was stuck in a situation with them, I was explaining to them the behaviour of people they knew but couldn't understand for some stupid reason. I kept having to point out lack of basic ideas and innovation in their thinking, huge holes in their logic, complete lack of knowledge about simple subjects etc. I think I can safely say they were not intelligent in almost any respect.
 

entropie

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Yes, but you're an INFP.:D


But seriously, these people I'm talking about are just astoundingly slow on the uptake. Doesn't even matter what you're talking about. I'm actually not that great at understanding people in practice (theory is different), yet when I was stuck in a situation with them, I was explaining to them the behaviour of people they knew but couldn't understand for some stupid reason. I kept having to point out lack of basic ideas and innovation in their thinking, huge holes in their logic, complete lack of knowledge about simple subjects etc. I think I can safely say they were not intelligent in almost any respect.

Wouldnt intelligence mean too, to not put oneself or others into a boxed view of expectations ?

I know a person, who has a reading insufficiency. He barely managed to survive school and has become a barber by now, even running his own shop. He is a very inspiring guy, when you talk to him and you can be a total stranger, he somehow always manages to talk to you about the things that intrest you and even gives valueable insights on things; sometimes even touches you with his words only someone could who would really know about a matter in detail.

He has a huge group of fans who come to him for a haircut, because he makes people feel good.

He's one of the most inspiring persons I've ever met in my life but on the same hand he should be, per definition of his education and the things he is able to understand, be one of the dumbest persons I've ever met in life, tho I would never have the idea to call him that.

I think it's dangerous and unintelligent to box some people out on a single matter; if one's really good at said matter, one should more try to assume responsibility when needed for the people who have other strengths.
 

rav3n

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YOU are the who's different, don't fault everyone else because of it.
Not certain why this would be meaningful. There appears to be an element of resentment buried in this statement.

Don't really know how you overcome the "is an idiot" phrase. It's not always counterproductive since ascertaining incompetence helps to allocate resources in a professional environment.
 

Mr. Sherlock Holmes

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I see where you're coming from, but seriously, these people have very few strengths. Not that I'd tell them that, but it's kinda true.

I suppose if I were to give these 'unintelligent' sort of people 'strengths', I would say that they seem to make good company for each other. But that's about it.
 
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