[INTP] Ask an INTP

[Totenkindly]

INTPs and ENTPs are good for platonic relationships but not romantic ones.

I tend to be attracted to those with strong Fe because that's my aspirational function and am weak in it myself. So ESFJ, ISFJ, INFJ, and ENFJ I think would be good for romance.

I'd keep N too.

The ENTPs come across as more confident and less inhibited than I am. The ENTPs are alot more impulsive than I am.

I don't think an INTP could adapt well to an explicity SJ society. But to be fair, SJ does not equal mediocrity. If I was exposed to an explicity SJ society, I'd try to migrate to another society where my values were held in higher regard.

I would do better in the explicitly NF society because at least they share my intuitive preference. However, I would have a hard time with seeing ghosts, etc. as real things because I see imagination and belief as separate.

Yup. All of that.

 

[INTPness]

If you had to invert every single one of your letters except one, which one would you keep?
I'd keep N.

Without a doubt, I'd keep N.

INTPs,
What do you think is the biggest difference between you and the ENTPs?
Would you like to be an Extravert instead? Why (not)?

Pretty much what the others said. ENTP's appear to have more confidence (and in a lot of cases it may actually be true) because they are very capable of being the life of the party. The ENTP's I've known are capable of being very cerebral, but it's more balanced with social activities because Ti is the auxiliary function. They get out of the house and mingle more, their social life is usually more "normal" (whatever that means). We are a little more extreme in the sense that we'd rather be left alone with Ti 9 times out of 10. We spend so much time in our heads, that it's hard to "snap out of it" and engage people sometimes.

Basically, our Ti is a little more "hardcore" than theirs and our Ne is usually a little less developed than theirs.

I'd only want to be an ENTP if I could keep Ti as my primary function. Ti/Ne, yet somehow extroverted. But, then that wouldn't really be an ENTP. So, the answer is no. I wouldn't want to give up primary Ti.

 

[Tamske]

I don't think an INTP could adapt well to an explicity SJ society. But to be fair, SJ does not equal mediocrity.

True, I know, but the society my hero lives in is both. It's much more extreme than ours. People have adapted themselves to the robots they are using. Instead of the robots becoming more human-like, the people have become more robot-like.

If I was exposed to an explicity SJ society, I'd try to migrate to another society where my values were held in higher regard.

What if the only other society you knew of was the NF one, and you've been taught all your life that's actually a mixture between a madhouse and a hell?

Thanks!

 

[rav3n]

My SO is an INTP. What's the best way to make him feel better about himself? He has a lot of confidence in his areas of expertise such as career but emotionally, he can retreat to an near-embryonic state.

 

[freeeekyyy]

Do you agree with the following statement:

"Ne is about creating connections, Ni is about tearing them down."

 

[ReflecTcelfeR]

I would say that Ni is more discovering where the source of the connection occurs.

 

[INTPness]

My SO is an INTP. What's the best way to make him feel better about himself? He has a lot of confidence in his areas of expertise such as career but emotionally, he can retreat to an near-embryonic state.

This might sound counter-intuitive, but tell him to learn to really appreciate Ti, which is and probably always will be his primary function. Fe will come along in due time with maturity (not sure how old he is) - I see mine coming along more and more as time passes. But, make no mistake, Ti is a huge asset to the INTP. The world operates in a way that would almost have the INTP believe that his Ti is useless. It is certainly undervalued and under appreciated. And if the INTP lacks internal fortitude and focus, this can cause him to tuck Ti away in his back pocket and just become "pouty" and depressed. If you took the primary function away from any type for any length of time, it would cause them to be unhappy, stressed, and probably depressed. That's why, I believe, INTP's so often retreat and just stay in Ti-mode for hours and hours and hours because this is the only place we really know how to operate in our primary function.

I am learning how to use Ti in an extroverted way. Some might call it Te. Maybe it is. Maybe I'm learning to use Te. But, I've become more patient with myself in social situations. If the situation calls for it, then I just let Ne run loose and joke with people and have fun with ideas. People will either think I'm hilarious or they'll think I'm a space cadet. Either way, I'm learning not to care. And I don't say that in a cynical way. I say it because I'm gaining confidence in how to put myself out there - and people are either going to like it or they aren't. But, I use Ti more and more in social situations - and you know what? It does well! Sometimes it's a little too intense for people or it scares them away or they think, "This guy doesn't mess around. He's a hard-nosed blah blah blah." But, people respect it when you put it out there.

What I'm saying is, it's OK to have emotions. But, Ti (his primary function) is not very emotional. It's tough. It's blunt. It's honest. It tells it like it is. It doesn't allow people to play head games or to manipulate. It calls people out on the B.S. Sometimes Ti isn't fun to be around, just like Te. But, Ti is our primary function. That's where we "belong" most of the time. There will be situations that call for Ne, Si, Fe, sure. But, learn to operate with Ti "out in the world". When he's wallowing and in that "embrionic state" that you speak of, it's because he's allowing Fe (his weakest function) to be boss. In those times, he needs to come back to Ti.

Example:

I have a supervisor who is always on everyone's case because we take too long on certain projects that he gives us. He will give us 4 hours of work and when we finish it in 4 hours, he will say, "What's your problem? That took way too long. This isn't working. You need to get it done in 2 hours or there's going to be some big changes." It's this kind of stuff every single day. He's really hard on his employees and everyone is afraid of the guy.

It's easy for an INTP to just become depressed about a situation like this. To just feel hopeless because this guy is owning you every single day at work. If we're operating in Fe, then we won't say anything back to him when he disrespects us. We'll just let him walk all over us in order to keep the peace.

But, if we operate in Ti, then we feel happier and others respect us more. It's a win-win situation. The other day when my boss said this, I said something like, "Look, with all due respect, I put 100% into this work and to top it off, I skipped my afternoon break just to please you. I didn't skip it because I wasn't hungry or I wasn't thirsty or I didn't want to take a break. I was hungry and I was thirsty and I did want a break. But, I wanted to be a team player and try to cut down on the time these projects are taking away from other work. That's about the best I can give you. If that's not good enough, then it's not going to work out anymore, because I'm giving you everything I've got."

It's basically a respectful, "Get off my back!" It's not "looking for a fight", but it's "standing up for what is right" and "not being a doormat".

The results are SO much better for the INTP than if he just goes, "Oh, OK boss. Sorry about that." Fe is good in some situations, but it's not the INTP's forte.

 

[ReflecTcelfeR]

I suppose what would help even more is if you could use Ti to diagnose the specific issue that is driving down efficiency.

 

[INTPness]

That's easy. Ti's diagnosis: Boss expects 4 hours worth of work to be done in 2 hours of actual time.

 

[rav3n]

This might sound counter-intuitive, but tell him to learn to really appreciate Ti, which is and probably always will be his primary function. Fe will come along in due time with maturity (not sure how old he is) - I see mine coming along more and more as time passes. But, make no mistake, Ti is a huge asset to the INTP. The world operates in a way that would almost have the INTP believe that his Ti is useless. It is certainly undervalued and under appreciated. And if the INTP lacks internal fortitude and focus, this can cause him to tuck Ti away in his back pocket and just become "pouty" and depressed. If you took the primary function away from any type for any length of time, it would cause them to be unhappy, stressed, and probably depressed. That's why, I believe, INTP's so often retreat and just stay in Ti-mode for hours and hours and hours because this is the only place we really know how to operate in our primary function.

I am learning how to use Ti in an extroverted way. Some might call it Te. Maybe it is. Maybe I'm learning to use Te. But, I've become more patient with myself in social situations. If the situation calls for it, then I just let Ne run loose and joke with people and have fun with ideas. People will either think I'm hilarious or they'll think I'm a space cadet. Either way, I'm learning not to care. And I don't say that in a cynical way. I say it because I'm gaining confidence in how to put myself out there - and people are either going to like it or they aren't. But, I use Ti more and more in social situations - and you know what? It does well! Sometimes it's a little too intense for people or it scares them away or they think, "This guy doesn't mess around. He's a hard-nosed blah blah blah." But, people respect it when you put it out there.

What I'm saying is, it's OK to have emotions. But, Ti (his primary function) is not very emotional. It's tough. It's blunt. It's honest. It tells it like it is. It doesn't allow people to play head games or to manipulate. It calls people out on the B.S. Sometimes Ti isn't fun to be around, just like Te. But, Ti is our primary function. That's where we "belong" most of the time. There will be situations that call for Ne, Si, Fe, sure. But, learn to operate with Ti "out in the world". When he's wallowing and in that "embrionic state" that you speak of, it's because he's allowing Fe (his weakest function) to be boss. In those times, he needs to come back to Ti.

Example:

I have a supervisor who is always on everyone's case because we take too long on certain projects that he gives us. He will give us 4 hours of work and when we finish it in 4 hours, he will say, "What's your problem? That took way too long. This isn't working. You need to get it done in 2 hours or there's going to be some big changes." It's this kind of stuff every single day. He's really hard on his employees and everyone is afraid of the guy.

It's easy for an INTP to just become depressed about a situation like this. To just feel hopeless because this guy is owning you every single day at work. If we're operating in Fe, then we won't say anything back to him when he disrespects us. We'll just let him walk all over us in order to keep the peace.

But, if we operate in Ti, then we feel happier and others respect us more. It's a win-win situation. The other day when my boss said this, I said something like, "Look, with all due respect, I put 100% into this work and to top it off, I skipped my afternoon break just to please you. I didn't skip it because I wasn't hungry or I wasn't thirsty or I didn't want to take a break. I was hungry and I was thirsty and I did want a break. But, I wanted to be a team player and try to cut down on the time these projects are taking away from other work. That's about the best I can give you. If that's not good enough, then it's not going to work out anymore, because I'm giving you everything I've got."

It's basically a respectful, "Get off my back!" It's not "looking for a fight", but it's "standing up for what is right" and "not being a doormat".

The results are SO much better for the INTP than if he just goes, "Oh, OK boss. Sorry about that." Fe is good in some situations, but it's not the INTP's forte.

He's 39.

Actually, this makes a lot of sense. His most attractive traits are his Ti/Ne combination. He's really smart and witty but good lord, when something emotional doesn't go his way, he turtles and as you said "pouts" over how tragic the world is.

Thanks very much! I'll go punt him back to Ti. Or should I slowly nurture him back? Nurturing is not my strong suit when it comes to partners, since Fi is my wonkiest function (inferior, yuck).

 

[INTPness]

He's 39.

Actually, this makes a lot of sense. His most attractive traits are his Ti/Ne combination. He's really smart and witty but good lord, when something emotional doesn't go his way, he turtles and as you said "pouts" over how tragic the world is.

Thanks very much! I'll go punt him back to Ti. Or should I slowly nurture him back? Nurturing is not my strong suit when it comes to partners, since Fi is my wonkiest function (inferior, yuck).

Well, yeah, give attention to his Fe. But, then go do something fun or get a really good meal or something and debate with him. Get his Ti riled up. Debate or talk with him about something that he's passionate about. Let him go off on his tangents. By the time he gets through ranting/arguing/debating/teaching, he'll be feeling chipper again.

Ti is always bottled up inside. Treat it like a release valve. When you see him in the dumps, pop the cork and let him air out his Ti.

 

[rav3n]

Well, yeah, give attention to his Fe. But, then go do something fun or get a really good meal or something and debate with him. Get his Ti riled up. Debate or talk with him about something that he's passionate about. Let him go off on his tangents. By the time he gets through ranting/arguing/debating/teaching, he'll be feeling chipper again.

Ti is always bottled up inside. Treat it like a release valve. When you see him in the dumps, pop the cork and let him air out his Ti.

I'll do that when we get together tomorrow. And do I know his hot buttons when it comes to topics he loves to debate about. Thanks again!

 

[Tamske]

@ Metaphor: try to make him feel that he doesn't have to be social or emotional in order to be accepted. Remember Fi is his last, so things like "why do I feel like this" take a long time to sort out.
I'm like this, and I suspect this is even more the case for the Introverts.

 

[rav3n]

Thanks Tamske. I don't pressure him towards being social since I'm a borderline extrovert. As far as emotional, Fi is my inferior function as Fe is his.

What seems to be a consistency with INTPs is that when it comes to emotional discussions, rather than addressing the issues at hand, they prefer to be tangential.

As far as insisting he be emotional, it's not an issue for me since I lean heavily T or Te, to the degree of 90 - 100% consistently. But I do need to be able to directly discuss issues.

 

[ReflecTcelfeR]

That's easy. Ti's diagnosis: Boss expects 4 hours worth of work to be done in 2 hours of actual time.

I meant more why it's taking you four hours, instead of two, to get the job done.

 

[lunalum]

What would happen if an INTP made a thread entitled "Ask an INTP" and the only people that asked questions were other INTP's?

See most of this thread.

It is because we INTPs communicate best to other INTPs.
Or is it we say things that only interest ourselves?
Or is it our unquenchable thirst for knowledge?

All of the above, to an extent.

Good thing there are so many INTPs on this site that such a dynamic actually works.

 

[DonkeyMaster]

Do other INTP's look down on "spiritual energy", "ghosts", and all that "lets hold hands and channel our energy" as much as I do?

 

[Stevo]

Do other INTP's look down on "spiritual energy", "ghosts", and all that "lets hold hands and channel our energy" as much as I do?

Uhh, yeah.

 

[copperfish17]

What type do you find yourself best matching with? Both on a platonic level and on a romantic one.

Hmm... this is strictly personal, but here it is (not in any particular order):

Platonic: ENTP, INTJ, ENFJ, INFJ
Romantic: I have absolutely no idea. I find INFP/INFJ males adorable though. Provided they are happy and healthy, of course!

Do other INTP's look down on "spiritual energy", "ghosts", and all that "lets hold hands and channel our energy" as much as I do?

I don't "look down" on those things but I am skeptical of them.

 

[ZPowers]

Do other INTP's look down on "spiritual energy", "ghosts", and all that "lets hold hands and channel our energy" as much as I do?

I'm not sure that it's right for me to look down on this stuff and its practitioners from an morally logical standpoint, but I do. A lot of my personal value does come from knowledge backed by proof or, perhaps more importantly, logical soundness. Anytime someone is into something that seems patently illogical, be it anything from ghosts or other monsters or seances or psychic/mystical powers and energies or even Obama not being American or Bush causing 9/11, my immediate knee-jerk reaction is to scoff and roll my eyes, even if I know that with (some of) those beliefs, they are harmless and may serve as fulfilling beliefs to someone who has a different system of values.