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[NT] NTs and debate perceptions.

Oaky

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There seems to be a common thing between many INTPs. Every word within a debate with them would end up analysed in which case the INTPs may often get confused to what people mean. It's never an "I know what you mean" with them when other's find it hard to properly express their opinions. The INTPs seem to expect perfect accuracy in other people's wordings which can get irritating as it may take up another whole conversation about what the message conveyed really meant.

The ENTPs seem prone to getting confused but they still figure out what you mean quickly. ENTPs are different to INTPs in the sense that when they understand what someone means they may use their wordings against them within the debate. This would most likely lead to other conversations much less serious than the one that was being talked about as causing chaos in the debate rather than going through with it may start to become the ENTP's interest. It becomes an social experimental game.

I, personally, am no proper conveyer of what I'm trying to express. Many never seem to understand what I say and I often fall into conversations about how I'm supposed to go about saying something rather than the issue we were discussing.
I am unsure if INTJs in general experience the same problem. INTJs however seem to understand what people mean. They may often see the flaws yet they would usually disregard it and continue the debate. Occasionally they may also copy the ENTPs but at a lesser extent. I would think this would happen from an INTJ appeal towards the ENTPs way of social experimentation. But it would happen when the INTJ is not particularly feeling serious.

ENTJs seem to be the ones prone to other people playing with their words yet the least interested in analysing each word in the sentence. Perhaps the most consistent when it comes to staying on topic. They understand quickly what other people are trying to say without getting confused by their wordings. This is good as this avoids floating away from the issue discussed however an ENTJ and INTP debating with each other may get the INTP confused often about what the ENTJ means and the ENTJ may get irritated from the depth of the analysis of the INTP with their words.

I could have mentioned the functions affecting these types doing such. Perhaps someone else may want to do it.
Does anyone else think differently?
 

INTPness

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There seems to be a common thing between many INTPs. Every word within a debate with them would end up analysed in which case the INTPs may often get confused to what people mean. It's never an "I know what you mean" with them when other's find it hard to properly express their opinions. The INTPs seem to expect perfect accuracy in other people's wordings which can get irritating as it may take up another whole conversation about what the message conveyed really meant.

To be honest, I relate to this somewhat. It seems so natural for me to do it, but life has a way of teaching you that others aren't always fond of it. So, as you mature, you learn to do it less. You learn to choose your battles more wisely.

Here's the thing: It's so natural for me to do this, that I do it without even thinking about it. If someone says something that is logically incorrect, it instantly shows up as an "error" on my radar. When someone is talking, I'm subconsciously "scanning" their words as they say them. There are some reasons this is good, and other reasons why it may not be so good. You mentioned why it may not be good. It makes conversation frustrating and tedious to some people and it may even make them not want to interact with us (we're secretely OK with that, but don't tell them that I said it :D). Where it comes in handy is that if I'm doing a project at work or some personal project or starting a business, or studying for a test, or whatever the case may be, anything that is "wrong" stands out like an elephant in your bedroom. I can instantly see inconsistencies when I analyze something. So, I can easily break things down, deconstruct them, and start building a new foundation that will be correct and that will work correctly.


I am unsure if INTJs in general experience the same problem. INTJs however seem to understand what people mean. They may often see the flaws yet they would usually disregard it and continue the debate.

This is the part that is difficult for the INTP. Once I hear something come out of someone's mouth that is "wrong", then everything in our discussion that builds off of that incorrect premise, will also be flawed and/or irrelevant. Because the conversation is building on false/inaccurate assumptions.

An example I've used before is where I'm talking to a particular person I know and they almost always bring up politics. So, we'll begin discussing. And then she will say something like, "The members of party X are just idiots. Party X just never gets anything right." And I'll say, "OK wait a second, are you saying that you truly believe that not one good thing has ever come from any member of Party X, even if we go back a hundred years?" And she will say, "Nope. They're idiots. They don't do anything good for this country."

OK, as an INTP, once I hear that the conversation is finished. She is just making huge, idiotic generalizations. It's obvious to me that the things that are coming out of her mouth are coming from - well, I don't know where they're coming from - but I can say that they are coming from a place that is "faulty". Coming from a place where "stuff" just spews out randomly like lava from a volcano. There's no logic, accuracy, or order to her words. She's just throwing flames. There's nothing more to discuss. We can't go forward because it will all be based on premises that are "junk".

INTP's even get a "radar hit" with small inconsistencies. If my boss says to me, "I have something to talk to you about. Yesterday when I saw you over there in the early afternoon....." I might stop him right there and say, "It was about 11:30am when you saw me because I hadn't gone to lunch yet." And if he says, "Oh yes, it was about 11:30", then I know we are on the same page and can continue. But, if he says, "No, it was after 12pm when I saw you - probably 12:30", then I know that we need to "clear up this small issue" before we can proceed to the bigger issue. If we continue on the faulty assumption that I saw him at 12:30, then it warps the rest of the conversation - provided that the conversation is about "timelines and when certain things happened" during the day. (which may or may not be the case)

It's good for the INTP because: you can't tell us that we did something wrong unless you have your facts straight. If you don't have your facts straight, you shouldn't even bring it up to the INTP because we will realize very quickly that you have no idea what you are talking about.

It's bad for the INTP because: we often STOP the conversation to clear something up when it's not necessary. Sometimes people will say, "OK, 11:30, 12:30, doesn't matter. That's not what I'm asking. I'm asking something different."

So, you're right. It can be frustrating to the other person. But, there is a positive side to it as well. Accuracy, precision, and other people cannot easily "pull the wool over our eyes". We will spot every single hole in your argument.
 

INTP

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i only know one intj, but he just ignores anything that is against his point of view and tries to force his own point of view, which is usually pretty screwed up because he tends to judge everything too quickly before having a full understanding about it. of course he thinks he understands it fully, but really he just understands if it fits in his own model of thinking or not
 
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There seems to be a common thing between many INTPs. Every word within a debate with them would end up analysed in which case the INTPs may often get confused to what people mean. It's never an "I know what you mean" with them when other's find it hard to properly express their opinions. The INTPs seem to expect perfect accuracy in other people's wordings which can get irritating as it may take up another whole conversation about what the message conveyed really meant.
Again, I don't know if this has to do with my type, but I find myself doing this often. I dissect everything that is said or written and will concentrate on a specific sentence or word if it bothers me.
 

Lucas

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I tend to do word analysis only when we are well into a discussion, and it seems like the different outcomes we are getting are based on different definitions of words.

Beyond that, I do hate it when people are imprecise, and it can definitely be an effort to stop myself from correcting them.

I think the
It's never an "I know what you mean" with them when other's find it hard to properly express their opinions.
comes from two sources. The first is that I hate to make assumptions about what other people mean.
The second is that I am really bad at interpreting what others mean unless they say so precisely.
 

bcvcdc

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This is what I have to say about that. Sometimes there are issues that are just not debatable - well as far as I'm concerned anyway. Thought I probably could engage in a debate with someone regarding certain things because I actually do "understand" the conceptual framework for such a debate, I just won't. For instance, things like disease -especially AIDS, cruelty to animals and children, disabilities, you know, things that actually effect others in this world in a deep and very painful way - NOT UP FOR DEBATE AT ALL! And other things like deeply private information - oh, I dunno, maybe something like how many blow jobs she gave him. And just how many times he called hr a slut. Yeah, you know - things like this.
 

Stevo

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There seems to be a common thing between many INTPs. Every word within a debate with them would end up analysed in which case the INTPs may often get confused to what people mean. It's never an "I know what you mean" with them when other's find it hard to properly express their opinions. The INTPs seem to expect perfect accuracy in other people's wordings which can get irritating as it may take up another whole conversation about what the message conveyed really meant.

I know that I often have to suppress the urge to correct people in casual conversation---otherwise nothing will be accomplished. But it's sometimes astounding how many casual errors people make while speaking (And I sit there holding my tongue with a pained expression) and how difficult it is to not correct them. In debates or arguments, however, I will be relentless. Casual conversation I watch myself for politeness' sake.
 

INTPness

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I know that I often have to suppress the urge to correct people in casual conversation---otherwise nothing will be accomplished. But it's sometimes astounding how many casual errors people make while speaking (And I sit there holding my tongue with a pained expression) and how difficult it is to not correct them. In debates or arguments, however, I will be relentless. Casual conversation I watch myself for politeness' sake.

+58
 

ThinkingAboutIt

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I would reply, but I am having difficulty expressing myself :cheese:
Yeah, it is difficult. When it comes to issues/feelings, I usually just don't, though that is changing...and it is giving me wrinkles!!!

When I am talking to someone, I am listening to/reading what they are saying, what they are trying to say, and whether I like it or not, automatically hearing what they are trying not to say (I am usually aware of things before the person I am talking to is. I guess you can say I see through people.)

When it comes to 'debate', I need properly defined subjects/words so I know what we are discussing. My mind is like a search engine and WIKI - a dictionary, thesaurus, encyclopedia, rolled in one :) so when someone says something or asks me a question causing to me think, my mind is like a shotgun firing - all those pellets are info potentially connected to the topic at hand. There may be multiple areas with a heavier 'concentration', but in the end, there is a main core or two that hits the target by the time it is all said and done. If you give me an incorrect search term, don't blame me for the incorrect results! By the way, this is why we 'rabbit trail' haha, the info is pertinent, but other people don't see the connection. Defining things correctly helps keep my mind 'on target'; especially if I don't know the person that is talking as I have little else to filter with.

I do totally lose respect for people that intentionally use incorrect definitions and wording - I mean when they *know* something is not the correct definition, yet they persist in using it anyway as if it then becomes something unique to them...it isn't, it doesn't, it causes confusion, and it's just ignorant.
 

InsatiableCuriosity

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It must be age or something. Unless it is a topic/concept/belief that is important to me and/or the people engaged in the discussion are important, these days I tend to sit back and listen or walk away - unless I am feeling mischievous that is.

When logic gives way to fallacious argument or nonsensical information being touted as fact, where something is important to me, I am incisively meticulous in correcting the issue particularly when such argument is used to persuade the uninformed or the innocent.

If not important to me and I am in a social setting, particularly where people are becoming insulting to each other, I will walk away. If no-one I care about (including the disadvantaged and those who cannot defend themselves) is being harmed or slandered what do I care if they have at each other verbally?

I have well developed Fi as my tertiary to a strong primary of Ne and secondary of Ti and have walked into a room full of aggressive tension and disharmony and I can feel it make the hair on my neck stand on end when I enter the room. I tend to want to turn around and walk out and sometimes do!???
 

onemoretime

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Just a thought - the distinction between orientation of judging functions could perhaps be characterized as "judging as doing" (i) vs. "judging as done" (e). So, if you're talking to someone judging through "Ti", they need all the premises as exactly as possible, because they're not just listening to you, they're doing the thinking along with you. Meanwhile, if you're talking to someone judging through "Te", the thinking is already done, and the premises are less important as long as the conclusion is valid.
 

JustHer

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ENTJs seem to be the ones prone to other people playing with their words yet the least interested in analysing each word in the sentence. Perhaps the most consistent when it comes to staying on topic. They understand quickly what other people are trying to say without getting confused by their wordings. This is good as this avoids floating away from the issue discussed however an ENTJ and INTP debating with each other may get the INTP confused often about what the ENTJ means and the ENTJ may get irritated from the depth of the analysis of the INTP with their words.

This is pretty true, though I will say that I think INTJs are more prone to people misunderstanding what they're trying to say due to their wording than ENTJs. It's definitely an Ni thing, they'll expect people to see what they're seeing without actually having accurately described it. Happens to ENTJs pretty often as well, and it frustrates me a lot when people just won't follow the point just because my wording isn't precise.
 

INTPness

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This is pretty true, though I will say that I think INTJs are more prone to people misunderstanding what they're trying to say due to their wording than ENTJs. It's definitely an Ni thing, they'll expect people to see what they're seeing without actually having accurately described it. Happens to ENTJs pretty often as well, and it frustrates me a lot when people just won't follow the point just because my wording isn't precise.

I like to pick the brain of my ENTJ friend, who I've been hanging out with more lately. He gets pretty intellectual (there are certain topics that his knowledge just blows me away) and I love listening to it. But, I like to pick apart what he is saying - partly because I'm genuinely interested and want "the whole story" (not just a generalization), and partly because it's just fun to pick at him and make him go off on another 30 minute tangent (benefits me too). Sometimes I think he gets a little frustrated if he is trying to drive home a point and I won't let him, but most of the time I think he enjoys it. My line of questioning gets him riled up (in a good way) and he just starts spitting out all this knowledge like a fire-breathing dragon.

It's a great complimentary friendship in terms of knowledge sharing. It's like we have both "met our match". I'm able to pick apart everything he says which challenges him to go back and gather more information/solidify his arguments. He, on the other hand, just fills me up with knowledge on these particular subjects he knows so well. Listening to him is almost like listening to a book on tape. Every 5 minutes or so, I'll interrupt him and say, "this doesn't make sense though. Let me tell you why!" And he'll scratch his head, think for a minute, and either come up with a really good answer or say, "I'll have to look into that!" Mental stimulation for both parties!
 

Robopop

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I know that I often have to suppress the urge to correct people in casual conversation---otherwise nothing will be accomplished. But it's sometimes astounding how many casual errors people make while speaking (And I sit there holding my tongue with a pained expression) and how difficult it is to not correct them. In debates or arguments, however, I will be relentless. Casual conversation I watch myself for politeness' sake.

It really irritates me too, like for example, a teenager is a person between 13 and 19, I have heard people call a 20, sometimes even 21 year old a teenager:doh:. I have automatically deemed this person an idiot in my mind, this is common knowledge, thirteen, fifteen, eighteen(there's a huge maturity difference between a "teenager" and twentysomething also). They are probably using "teenager" in a very loose way, but I want the "precise" definition.

Another thing is that sometimes there's sometimes up to 30 different definitions for a single word, so it is important to have the right definition out of the many meanings of a word.
 

Blank

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Literally, I would agree with you. Teenager = 13-19

Socially, I would interject that "adolescence" is almost interchangeable with "teenager," so (in the States, at least) you're pretty much still a "teenager" when you're twenty. Hell, because our youth are maturing so quickly, I often lump in preteens with the teenage group, mostly because middle school (for me) started before I was eleven or so, and I feel that it's mostly lumped into my "teenage years." It's often just easier to lump those years together if I'm being vague, or if it's a non-issue. I know other peoples' middle school experiences start at different ages, so I can't speak for them though.
 

Octarine

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This is an interesting topic, I missed it the first time around. :)

There seems to be a common thing between many INTPs. Every word within a debate with them would end up analysed in which case the INTPs may often get confused to what people mean. It's never an "I know what you mean" with them when other's find it hard to properly express their opinions. The INTPs seem to expect perfect accuracy in other people's wordings which can get irritating as it may take up another whole conversation about what the message conveyed really meant.

I'm not sure if I fully relate to this. If it is a central point to the argument and I don't understand their point of vice versa, then naturally I will try to clarify this. But if it is a secondary point, I will usually let it slide, perhaps take note if I need to refer to it later. In a debate, I feel you should always concentrate on the most important points, even to the point of letting other errors slide.

You do often see it in internet debates, there are those who try to argue just the central points, and those who feel it is necessary to write counter points against every small point that could be questioned.



It must be age or something. Unless it is a topic/concept/belief that is important to me and/or the people engaged in the discussion are important, these days I tend to sit back and listen or walk away - unless I am feeling mischievous that is.

I do that too. It can come across as a little passive-aggressive though, sitting back and then pulling the rug out from underneath them (by attacking their central point) when they thought you agreed with them. I try not to do that much though. :devil:

This is pretty true, though I will say that I think INTJs are more prone to people misunderstanding what they're trying to say due to their wording than ENTJs. It's definitely an Ni thing, they'll expect people to see what they're seeing without actually having accurately described it.

"Accurately described it" might be the wrong way to put it, but I think I know what you mean. The tendency to explain things in the clearest way that they need to understand it. But this might not be the way that you need it explained.

And then they dismiss you as stupid/ignorant when you don't see it. ;)

Although one may argue that the INTJ way of explaining things is still better than the INTP way, which usually starts by deriving all the intermediate points from first principles and getting completely sidetracked and/or alienating the audience long before the central point is fully established.
 

Oaky

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This is an interesting topic, I missed it the first time around. :)
Goodness, a rather old thread. Unsure of my thoughts on it at the current moment though I'd assume similar.

I'm not sure if I fully relate to this. If it is a central point to the argument and I don't understand their point of vice versa, then naturally I will try to clarify this. But if it is a secondary point, I will usually let it slide, perhaps take note if I need to refer to it later. In a debate, I feel you should always concentrate on the most important points, even to the point of letting other errors slide.

You do often see it in internet debates, there are those who try to argue just the central points, and those who feel it is necessary to write counter points against every small point that could be questioned.
I believe what I was referring to with what I said was the idea of an INTP misunderstanding a point because of their given analysis on what is said in difference to what was trying to be conveyed. So an INTP will believe something is understood when in fact, it was not what the one with the message would be saying. Such would be because of the lack of preciseness of that individual. So it's not necessarily not understanding and clarifying an understanding as you had said, but rather understanding another thing and the conversation falls to confliction. And then the INTP argues his point against what he thought the other individual said and the other individual doesn't understand what is going on.
 

Octarine

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I believe what I was referring to with what I said was the idea of an INTP misunderstanding a point because of their given analysis on what is said in difference to what was trying to be conveyed. So an INTP will believe something is understood when in fact, it was not what the one with the message would be saying. Such would be because of the lack of preciseness of that individual. So it's not necessarily not understanding and clarifying an understanding as you had said, but rather understanding another thing and the conversation falls to confliction. And then the INTP argues his point against what he thought the other individual said and the other individual doesn't understand what is going on.

Ah, I could see how that could be a problem. Is this not a common problem facing all types though? We can only understand other points of view by attempting to mirror them, but in doing so we mix in our own set of experiences and our own understanding of what others are trying to say.
 
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INTP

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Goodness, a rather old thread. Unsure of my thoughts on it at the current moment though I'd assume similar.


I believe what I was referring to with what I said was the idea of an INTP misunderstanding a point because of their given analysis on what is said in difference to what was trying to be conveyed. So an INTP will believe something is understood when in fact, it was not what the one with the message would be saying. Such would be because of the lack of preciseness of that individual. So it's not necessarily not understanding and clarifying an understanding as you had said, but rather understanding another thing and the conversation falls to confliction. And then the INTP argues his point against what he thought the other individual said and the other individual doesn't understand what is going on.

You are disregarding some things that make the system work properly. INTP doesent add to the meaning with the Ti analysis(unlike INTJ with Te), but removes from the context that you communicate using T(what is it) analysis(creates what is not type of analysis). because INTP is P type, he will mainly add to the context from perception of what you say.
-> what you say is taken in fully(every word you say), but the parts that doesent make sense(contradict what you said earlier or i experienced earlier(Si) or is illogical(Ti)) is removed from what you say and isnt taken into further consideration.

These contradictions in your thinking(what you communicated) are pointed out
-> "why do you say that?"
if you cant give me a reason for contradictions, you lack something in your thinking
-> "you are wrong because of X"
if you can explain the contradiction, i lacked something in my perception that would had an effect to my thinking(this usually happens because the other party didnt communicate some central point in his argument
-> "i was wrong because i lacked X"

dunno if you know this, but quite many INTP descriptions say that usually when INTP comes to false conclusions, its not because of poor logic, but because of overlooking details.

This same thing can happen when talking with people, but the 'overlooking details' part comes from the other person not communicating some central point to the context that you try to communicate. its either missing in his thinking(he is wrong), its there but not communicated(his communication is flawed) or im missing something that i can use to combine what seems illogical to other info to make it logical(im missing some info or had wrong info about something).

Then ofc there is the differences in communication between Ni dom and Ti dom. INTJ communicates abstraction(things that seem relevant) about his internal perception, INTP communicates abstraction of logic(central points that can be used to build logical understanding).
Also these abstractions are made from different elements. with INTJ the internal perception(Ni abstraction) is built from details and facts from external world, INTJ also uses abstraction of worth(Fi) which tells what is worth to be takwn into the abstraction. with INTP the logical bastraction is built from worth of things in external world(Fe, including what some info is worth/is it worth taking into consideration) and big picture perception(Ne), INTP also uses abstraction based of what is(Si).

And degree of worth abstraction(Fi) in INTJ changes based on the external perceptions(Se) and external facts(Te). same with INTPs Si abstraction, but it changes on principles of Fe and Ne.

What you said about INTPs drawing false conclusions(thinking he understands, but in reality doesent) is true in communication if you fail to communicate properly. but what way more annoying is that INTJs are prone of doing the same thing, but when gathering information freely from a source. because what INTJ is doing is sort of reprogramming his whole thinking about the subject and will communicate things that are simply not true, but the INTJ will be convinced that it is. thats because of Fi is doing the rational abstractions -> he thinks that some info thats not even true is relevant to his conclusions and he wont let go of his false conclusions, because the whole system of thought would fail and ego doesent want that to happen.

From what i have noticed INTJs are the worst type to communicate properly AND worst type to give reasoning for thought, also one of the most stubborn type to change conclusions, even tho their thought has been totally debunked.. even my mentally ill INFP is doing so good on this that i got no problems on communicating with him properly(he gives sufficient reasoning if i ask for it or changes his perception if he cant reason, except ofc when it comes to matter of worth), no problems with ENTP(he does seem to be able to communicate with INTJ better than me). also INFP and INTJ(who are room mates) have hard time communicating properly.

Anyways cba to write more now
 

Totenkindly

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There seems to be a common thing between many INTPs. Every word within a debate with them would end up analysed in which case the INTPs may often get confused to what people mean. It's never an "I know what you mean" with them when other's find it hard to properly express their opinions. The INTPs seem to expect perfect accuracy in other people's wordings which can get irritating as it may take up another whole conversation about what the message conveyed really meant.

The ENTPs seem prone to getting confused but they still figure out what you mean quickly. ENTPs are different to INTPs in the sense that when they understand what someone means they may use their wordings against them within the debate. This would most likely lead to other conversations much less serious than the one that was being talked about as causing chaos in the debate rather than going through with it may start to become the ENTP's interest. It becomes an social experimental game.

I think one thing you are seeing is the difference between Ne and Ti being in charge. Ne is a big-picture perspective and is seeking to find broad patterns of similarity among things, connecting them together. Maybe that is the best word for it -- it is a "connecting" perspective, just as it is used in brainstorming to leap from one idea to another that has SOME aspect in similar to the prior one. So Ne in discussion/argument will use this connective style to both form a tighter bond between ideas (if they are working to agree with you) or else use it to surprise you (to win a point / get the upper hand) or even explore a completely new region of the discussion that was being ignored.

Meanwhile, Ti is a "precision" function. It describes the exact relationship of one idea to the other; it is not interested in showing loose connection, it needs to show exact connection and it also shows flow since logic is sequential. As such, it actually ends up describing the differences more than the similarities (since everything outside the nuanced logic of what is being described is less correct/precise).

If you are building a watch, or the Space Shuttle, or a skyscraper, for example, you cannot afford to not be precise; if the system does not fit together precisely, then something will not function efficiently or perhaps even not at all. You will have cogs that do not mesh nor fit inside the casing; you will have a space vehicle that is not air-tight and that might not even fly or could even explode when taking off; you will have buildings with gaps in the foundation, ruining their structural safety. Even a small deviation can cause huge errors. Likewise, T is used to "architect ideas" to the same degree of precision, and the wings of a butterfly fluttering on one side of the world might create larger deviations in air currents elsewhere.

(For example, something as trivial as a specific date gotten wrong in a history discussion could change the entire context of what a particular fact means, thus misrepresenting the statement and leading to an untruth or a lesser truth. Or a particular word used in the wrong place would put stress on the wrong part of the logical statement, altering its meaning... and that mistake in meaning could magnify to result in a bad assumption later in the argument.)

So that's the issue. This is why ambiable ENTPs often seem to be engaging conversation and moving it along, whereas INTPs can seem to drag down the pace of the conversation and get hung up on small items that seem irrelevant to those painting with a broader brush but to the INTP can seem very crucial to the accuracy of the argument. And if something is inaccurate, then it is undependable and arbitrary and can't be used for anything, so why even bother?

That, I think, is the typical reasoning being used.

I am unsure if INTJs in general experience the same problem. INTJs however seem to understand what people mean. They may often see the flaws yet they would usually disregard it and continue the debate. Occasionally they may also copy the ENTPs but at a lesser extent. I would think this would happen from an INTJ appeal towards the ENTPs way of social experimentation. But it would happen when the INTJ is not particularly feeling serious.

I'm not sure about that; and really, you're an INTJ so of course you understand them, while I typically can read an INTP's comments and understand exactly what they're saying and why, even if I disagree with it because I think they've overlooked something or have wrongly emphasized something.

To be honest, NTJ's kind of confound me; I can't "see into you" and see how you got to where you are and thus understand it, because you don't typically explain your logic. I do typically have NTJs nod and smile when I talk to them and explain, and they sound like they get what I'm saying and/or agree, but I don't get back that explanation in turn so I can see and follow their own thinking and see that we are in sync.

ENTJs seem to be the ones prone to other people playing with their words yet the least interested in analysing each word in the sentence. Perhaps the most consistent when it comes to staying on topic. They understand quickly what other people are trying to say without getting confused by their wordings. This is good as this avoids floating away from the issue discussed however an ENTJ and INTP debating with each other may get the INTP confused often about what the ENTJ means and the ENTJ may get irritated from the depth of the analysis of the INTP with their words.

I'd agree with the last. I have trouble understanding what ENTJs mean because they don't explain anything at the level where I know they understand what I'm saying, and I'm sure they often think I say too much. I've tried to pursue a few friendships with ENTJs anyway, but it's funny to me how they seem to think we're communicating fine and happy with things, while I'm usually unsure of what's going on in their heads and need more clarification of their ideas and the things we are relating to each other about.
 
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