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[INTP] attention all INTP's , what were some of your hardships growing up as a teen?

INTPthinker

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I'm just interested to know what you other INTP's go through growing up as a teen/young adult
 

Tallulah

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Hmm. Well, as a teen, I remember daydreaming a lot and living basically in the future. I had the presence of mind to realize that I was probably not going to get a lot out of the high school experience. I hated the group social mentality and the importance placed upon things I felt were shallow or pointless. I hated football games and pep rallies and the concept of popularity. Looking back, I think more people liked me than I thought did, but I was so invested in the idea of not belonging. :)

I think college is going to be your time to shine, because you will find other people that think like you do, and other people that share your interests. High school is all about conformity. In college, that stuff doesn't matter, unless you put yourself in a position where it does, like joining a fraternity or something.

I think every INTP will be different, as far as when they "come into their own," so to speak. The teen years were very hard for me. My twenties were when I learned more and more about myself and others and how the world works, but I still felt a little like an alien. Now, in my thirties, I finally feel like I really know what I want out of life, and I really realize that I have the tools to make it happen. I now realize that contrary to what I thought before, no one has an instruction manual to life that they forgot to give me a copy of. That everyone has their own issues, and are just trying to do the best they can.

Do you have any specific questions you're curious about?
 

INTP

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i got caught smoking weed to my mom when i was 16, and it was a HUGE deal to my mom
 

tcda

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I wasn't deeply unhappy, but I had quite low self-esteem, often felt lonely and would lie on the bed watching planes go past and wishing to be on them. I felt claustrophobic both at home and school. also having moved country felt nostalgic.

I felt irrationally anxious/nervous and think I would be unconscious of this most of the time and express it physically (no need to get into details).

I had my group of friends and we weren't "nerds" but neither were we "cool". I didn't know what I was good at (being an "intellectual" was not really encouraged).

I didn't start to find that my intp traits were potentially highly valued till I got to 18 years old and started working and then went to uni.

Hope that helps mate.
 

Idioteque

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Feelings of alienation and weltschmerz.

Basically don't have anyone to talk to because my interests and view of life are fundamentally different from theirs, spending much of my spare time reading books, playing video games and arguing on the internet.

No real close friends because of a combination of thinking most people are shallow and stupid (guess I really just matured faster than they did) and bad social skills.

Depressed and occasional suicidal thoughts, nothing really serious though.

Extremly frustrated with life, society and the people in it.

Wanted to radically change society and challenge conventions, resulting in some kind of rebellion involving drugs, alcohol and violence.
 

Totenkindly

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I agree with everyone else who is suggesting that life for the INTP (unless the INTP has been fortunate with a supportive family and environment) begins at college.

That's the place where your intellect will finally really be engaged, and it's where you are most likely to FINALLY start meeting a decent number of people with whom you can identify and who identify with you. (At that time in my life, I had no idea what an "INTP" was... but I did finally start making friends who understood me.)

You will also probably start studying things and doing things that will help you decide what direction you want to go in the next years of your life. Usually childhood seems full of wandering around, being bored, and wondering what happens next.

My childhood was pretty lonely, all things considered. I lived in a rural area with few friends nearby to begin with, really, and my family situation meant I wanted to be alone much of the time. I either hid in my room drawing, reading, listening to music, or doing something craft-y, or I'd be outside exploring the fields, climbing trees, digging through the garage, making things, or riding my bike for miles... usually alone. I really liked to wander; but I remember being very lonely and wishing I had someone to understand me. No one in my family understood me -- this ended up being a very big issue. (It also created issues later in life when it came to building new relationships.)

I remember getting picked on in school (through part of high school, then people got bored and left me alone). If I aced a test, I was made fun of; if I didn't get the highest grade, I was made fun of; and people would steal my stuff and hide it. All the typical shenanigans. I did finally make friends in the music program in high school, but still no one really understood me even if I felt accepted.

Besides not being understood, I had few (well, almost none) who shared my interests and were intellectually on my level. This also led to me being alone.

I also was extremely shy, socially, and I didn't have much confidence or skill in expressing myself or my emotions. I was really good at music and complex topics (or traditional "geek things"), but most people didn't want to discuss that sort of thing all the time, so once conversation became more conventional, I no longer knew what to say.

Finally, I grew up in a religious environment that really tried to pit my intellect against my virtue -- i was told I was a good person if I believed and did certain things, yet I didn't agree with all those beliefs and/or behaviors. Also, because INTP is so big-picture and quick to notice discrepancies/illogic, I was always very good at seeing how I failed to conform to my "faith" and then mercilessly depricating my self-worth because of my taint. I couldn't act rationally and consistently all the time, and I thought I was "bad" because of that... and I had no adults who thought on my level who I could talk to about it.

All in all, my teen years were the worst of my life... aside from the times I spent alone, I think. I have some great "alone" memories, and memories of books I read and topics studied, and places I explored... but honestly college was a vast improvement.
 

Reflection

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I had a similar experince to Jennifer's (apart from the family bit - my family always supported me, which was great - although my mother did have trouble understanding why I'd much rather be alone) throughout elementary school and the first two years of high school, at which point I adapted a bit and actually made some friends even though they never really understood me and still made fun of me from time to time... yeah, I was kind of pathetic.

Life at the university for the past three years has been awesome. I seriously love it. There are occasional rough times, but in general it's much much better than it ever was.
 

Idioteque

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Oh yeah, that's another thing I can relate to.. large amounts of knowledge on obscure topics but when it comes to "normal" discussion and small talk I feel like a social retard.
 

Beargryllz

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Oh yeah, that's another thing I can relate to.. large amounts of knowledge on obscure topics but when it comes to "normal" discussion and small talk I feel like a social retard.

This is one of my favorite things about being INTP. So long as you stay in your element, you'll have a place in social circles. People appreciate a font of knowledge. I suppose having a number of introverted friends never hurt.
 

lets eat pie

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I agree with everyone else who is suggesting that life for the INTP (unless the INTP has been fortunate with a supportive family and environment) begins at college.

You will also probably start studying things and doing things that will help you decide what direction you want to go in the next years of your life. Usually childhood seems full of wandering around, being bored, and wondering what happens next.

Ugh, yes. My childhood was one big boring blur. Ostracism, loneliness, and stupid behavior. I try not to think about it but sometimes I can't help recounting how I used to get shit from people and not knowing how to deal with it but hide.

My first two years of high school were just as blurry, only with more feelings of insecurity than I had as a blissfully ignorant kid. I managed to keep some close friends from middle school, which I am still close to today. They helped me survive through the day to day humdrum and social viper pit of high school mostly unscathed. One of my friend's brother once told her that if you could keep at least one good friend after high school, then you were lucky. Following that, I suppose I really am lucky, as I've kept more than one. :D

I also managed to have a few very influential teachers who were so refreshingly different from the other run-of-the-mill instructors that I felt like I "woke up" from slumber. They made me realize that my opinions and beliefs I held are valid, even if they are different from the majority. Basically they made me feel more like an individual rather than another cog in the machine, and that society's pressure to conform is illusory. All my previous fears and insecurities of being a loser or a weirdo were magically blasted away. My senior year of high school was one big waiting game; like a prisoner anxiously waiting for his release day.

Now in college, I've come across more amazing teachers that expand my views and knowledge. I suppose some of the most important people to an INTP would be mentors or teachers. Great teachers really are the catalysts that will propel your growth and help you find your path.
 

INTPthinker

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yeahh i'm 16 years old right now but when i was in middle school i remember i used to eat my lunch in the bathroom stall. i was so pathetic..
 

Robopop

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When I was in ninth grade I was bullied constantly in my language arts class. It seemed like the whole class ganged up on me, probably because I was so quiet thus made me an easy target. One of my bullies was killed, he was a drug dealer in a deal gone bad. I had one good friend who I think was an ENTP(I love you ENTPs) and he had my back, other than that, I spent the rest of my high school experience being a loner/outcast. I made horrible grades in high school even though I know I am highly intelligent, public school structure is just not for me.
 

INTPthinker

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wow i feel grateful now, all you other INTP's were bullied, i was never bullied though. that's kinda strange i wonder what was different about me..
 

JocktheMotie

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I wasn't bullied either. I haven't posted in this thread because I didn't want to seem like a douche. Thing is, if you ask for only the negatives, you're only gonna get the negatives!
 

Moonstone3

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In high school I was ready to be done and out. I had a few close friends, and was bullied some for being quiet and 'weird.' College wasn't a great meeting experience for me. I don't jump in a crowd and start hanging out. It takes time for me. I had the same friends from high school as my friends during college. What really shaped me was the alone time I got after I moved out at 18. I stayed up late just writing and reading. I think I've met more people through work than anywhere, really.
 

ColonelGadaafi

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Damn people you all strike me as self-induced loners with high demands from your environments. One must realize also the usefulness of being able to do the best out of a situation, instead of wadding in a shit pool of obscurity.
 

Tallulah

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wow i feel grateful now, all you other INTP's were bullied, i was never bullied though. that's kinda strange i wonder what was different about me..

I wasn't bullied. I always had pretty high Fe, too, and could kind of take the emotional temperature of a room and fit in if I needed to. I was mostly liked by everyone, but could be a bit standoffish, so people didn't know how to read me unless they were close friends.

Damn people you all strike me as self-induced loners with high demands from your environments. One must realize also the usefulness of being able to do the best out of a situation, instead of wadding in a shit pool of obscurity.

That's something an INTP learns later. When you're young, though, all you know is that your environment isn't nearly as welcoming as the world you can create in your head. It takes time.
 
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