[NT] NT`s and ideal dates and seduction

[jcloudz]

what works best for you? is it a back massage? opera? going to independent film festivals?

 

[ReflecTcelfeR]

This may be the hormones speaking, but a good make-out session is always nice to start the evening off, then maybe just a quiet night in watching a movie. Pretty simple really.

 

[Tallulah]

NT dating is really more hanging out, especially in the beginning. It allows you to get to know each other without pressure and without expectation. Lots of theoretical talking. Then once you get to know and like each other, the gooey stuff can come into play. Really, I don't care what I do with my (fellow INTP) guy; it's just cool to spend time together.

 

[ReflecTcelfeR]

NT dating is really more hanging out, especially in the beginning. It allows you to get to know each other without pressure and without expectation. Lots of theoretical talking. Then once you get to know and like each other, the gooey stuff can come into play. Really, I don't care what I do with my (fellow INTP) guy; it's just cool to spend time together.

Agreed.

 

[InsatiableCuriosity]

NT dating is really more hanging out, especially in the beginning. It allows you to get to know each other without pressure and without expectation. Lots of theoretical talking. Then once you get to know and like each other, the gooey stuff can come into play. Really, I don't care what I do with my (fellow INTP) guy; it's just cool to spend time together.

Definitely agree - if there is a mental connection and I don't have to explain myself that is the biggest turn on - having said that, the mental connection with my fellow NT mind mates is so precious I have never pursued a physical relationship with one!

My physical/emotional relationships have always been with an ISTJ???

Not certain what to say about that but I have never really analysed why they work - and perhaps that is the secret

 

[ragashree]

My physical/emotional relationships have always been with an ISTJ???

Not certain what to say about that but I have never really analysed why they work - and perhaps that is the secret

I'm just wondering if with you it could be at least in part a subconscious need for compensation, or finding completeness - I believe you have very low S tendencies and very strong P tendencies (which implies relatively weak Je functioning), so perhaps in life and romance it would help to be paired with someone who is more concrete and decisive?

I know that speaking for myself I tend to have relatively balanced functions in most respects, which actually does not make the choice of partner a particularly natural or straightforward one, it mostly boils down to who INTERESTS me or attracts me the most (itself to a large extent a matter of intellectual compatibility). The one conistent factor, therefore, is that I've never been involved with an S type or a J type as far as I know, (except possibly for the latter one mutual crush that didn't lead to much when I was in my teens). Nothing against S types, it simply hasn't worked out that I've met one I've found particularly appealing in that sense.

Unfortunately "Interesting" + xNxP =/= stable personality much of the time! And I have become so tired of being on the recieving end of stereotypical P-type flakiness and unreliability that I am thinking maybe I would be better off seeking out someone who shows J-ish tendencies of some kind next time round. (Yes, I know this is UNhealthy P-type behaviour, but I really have had a gutsful of it over the last few years, being let down repeatedly at critical times hasn't had a particularly good effect on my life or my appreciation of the relationship potential of the opposite sex...)

 

[InsatiableCuriosity]

I'm just wondering if with you it could be at least in part a subconscious need for compensation, or finding completeness - I believe you have very low S tendencies and very strong P tendencies (which implies relatively weak Je functioning), so perhaps in life and romance it would help to be paired with someone who is more concrete and decisive?

This has indeed crossed my mind and I think you are possibly correct. What I find amusing tho is that for all of the Jness I am far better at methodical problem solving than my SO???

I know that speaking for myself I tend to have relatively balanced functions in most respects, which actually does not make the choice of partner a particularly natural or straightforward one, it mostly boils down to who INTERESTS me or attracts me the most (itself to a large extent a matter of intellectual compatibility). The one conistent factor, therefore, is that I've never been involved with an S type or a J type as far as I know, (except possibly for the latter one mutual crush that didn't lead to much when I was in my teens). Nothing against S types, it simply hasn't worked out that I've met one I've found particularly appealing in that sense.

Unfortunately "Interesting" + xNxP =/= stable personality much of the time! And I have become so tired of being on the recieving end of stereotypical P-type flakiness and unreliability that I am thinking maybe I would be better off seeking out someone who shows J-ish tendencies of some kind next time round. (Yes, I know this is UNhealthy P-type behaviour, but I really have had a gutsful of it over the last few years, being let down repeatedly at critical times hasn't had a particularly good effect on my life or my appreciation of the relationship potential of the opposite sex...)

The right one WILL come along when you least expect it and will surprise you no doubt. Of that I am confident!

 

[Gabrielle]

Ideal date... opera, ballet, lecture series, a dinner, book-hunting, walk, coffee...

I guess my limit is it has to be non-physical (I have near-zero stamina), and does not involve others I don't know well (a rave is a no, for instance).

 

[Amethyst]

Something that is pretty unique and involves spending time with one another, rather than being at a dance or whatever. I'm alright with the dinner thing, since I'm hungry anyways, but instead of the movie afterwards, I'd rather go through Goodwill and find crazy things, or go horseback riding, or try something new.

 

[5231311252]

what works best for you? is it a back massage? opera? going to independent film festivals?

An event that is both mentally engaging and unconventional. I can't specify what that event might be because I like to be surprised, but going to a club is definitely a no.

 

[Rebe]

NT dating is really more hanging out, especially in the beginning. It allows you to get to know each other without pressure and without expectation. Lots of theoretical talking. Then once you get to know and like each other, the gooey stuff can come into play. Really, I don't care what I do with my (fellow INTP) guy; it's just cool to spend time together.

I love that. That's exactly what I am like.