One of my greatest achievements with people has been to show an ESFP how much there was that he didn't know. After learning a little bit of HTML, he finally realized he didn't know PHP, javascript, C#, how to use FTP, and so forth. Admittedly this is quite a narrow and shallow area of human knowledge. But to him the discovery seemed to have meant a lot. Very honestly and spontaneously he confessed, wow, I thought I knew pretty much everything, but now that I really know a little bit there's so much stuff to know to make you dizzy!
I thought that was a big achievement, because I showed an SF the breadth and depth of what is out there in a world which is unfamiliar to him.
Now years after, I am also feeling dizzy about all that is out there beyond the mirror. The infinity of interwoven personal dramas. How lives get screwed up and mixed together. She has bipolar disorder, attachment disorders, but it's normal, she saw public executions and people's brains squirting out of their forehead. And me, seems I was abused with "invalidation" and I have the most benign 3rd (fortunately) of the symptoms of borderline personality disorder. Together, we explode easily, whereas I never had problems with other people before. Except my parents. Who were really messed up as children too. And now I see other people's parents psychological messes too. I read about relationships, and psychology, and can place the events of my life and others' and people's utterances and fears in a new framework of weakness, cognitive and relationship problems. The ESFP's mother lost her identity to a strict superego who thwarted her growth and nearly destroyed her family. My new roommate had cancer and was about to die, and her boyfriend didn't even show up, that didn't make her too happy as her parents divorced and ditched her to live with her grandma and she seeks primarily protection from a guy. My own mother was probably co-dependent. I know now the psychological prison that won't let you be rational in an abusive relationship.
Holy, holy f---ing crap. I'm still trying to find out what I'm becoming, and if it means I'm getting closer to other people's experience of reality, or farther from it.
I thought that was a big achievement, because I showed an SF the breadth and depth of what is out there in a world which is unfamiliar to him.
Now years after, I am also feeling dizzy about all that is out there beyond the mirror. The infinity of interwoven personal dramas. How lives get screwed up and mixed together. She has bipolar disorder, attachment disorders, but it's normal, she saw public executions and people's brains squirting out of their forehead. And me, seems I was abused with "invalidation" and I have the most benign 3rd (fortunately) of the symptoms of borderline personality disorder. Together, we explode easily, whereas I never had problems with other people before. Except my parents. Who were really messed up as children too. And now I see other people's parents psychological messes too. I read about relationships, and psychology, and can place the events of my life and others' and people's utterances and fears in a new framework of weakness, cognitive and relationship problems. The ESFP's mother lost her identity to a strict superego who thwarted her growth and nearly destroyed her family. My new roommate had cancer and was about to die, and her boyfriend didn't even show up, that didn't make her too happy as her parents divorced and ditched her to live with her grandma and she seeks primarily protection from a guy. My own mother was probably co-dependent. I know now the psychological prison that won't let you be rational in an abusive relationship.
Holy, holy f---ing crap. I'm still trying to find out what I'm becoming, and if it means I'm getting closer to other people's experience of reality, or farther from it.
