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[NT] NT women - do you want kids?

NT women - do you want kids?

  • I'm ENTJ - I want/have kids

    Votes: 1 1.9%
  • I'm ENTJ - I do NOT want kids

    Votes: 1 1.9%
  • I'm INTJ - I want/have kids

    Votes: 2 3.8%
  • I'm INTJ - I do NOT want kids

    Votes: 6 11.3%
  • I'm ENTP - I want/have kids

    Votes: 5 9.4%
  • I'm ENTP - I do NOT want kids

    Votes: 5 9.4%
  • I'm INTP - I want/have kids

    Votes: 9 17.0%
  • I'm INTP - I do NOT want kids

    Votes: 8 15.1%
  • I'm not an NT

    Votes: 4 7.5%
  • I'm not a female

    Votes: 12 22.6%
  • I don't know yet or any other answer not listed

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    53

INTPness

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I posted this in the NF forum and the results were interesting. So, I figured why not post it here as well. The question I asked them was:

I'm wondering what trends we will see between the 4 NF NT types and a desire to have children. I have an idea of how this poll might turn out, but answer honestly and we'll see how it plays out.

I'm not talking about "yes, kids are cute. I think it would be fun." I'm talking about having strong enough of an innate desire for children that you are willing and able to give up a good amount of your own independence and to put up with the "not so fun stuff" that comes with it. Your desire for children overrides your desire to do whatever you want, whenever you want.

If you kind of want kids, but you "just don't want to give up your independence", then the answer in the poll would be no.

Feel free to discuss why you do or don't want children and what you think that has to do with your individual type or personality preferences.
 

Katsuni

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I've seen other people with children. I remember enough of my own childhood to recall whot I was like. I know how much time and effort is required, and I know I don't have the attention span, the time, nor the patience for such.

I'm totally unwilling to give up 2 years of sleep, become practically crippled across 9 months, and eventually be tied down to a bald, screaming, messy, malformed being that I wouldn't be able to tolerate if they were an adult and actually looked good, but no, they look hideous, have no manners, and I want nothing to do with them.

Another problem, is that, due to genetics, I have a sneaking suspicion they would turn out like me. The world doesn't need that XD
 

INTPness

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I've seen other people with children. I remember enough of my own childhood to recall whot I was like. I know how much time and effort is required, and I know I don't have the attention span, the time, nor the patience for such.

I'm totally unwilling to give up 2 years of sleep, become practically crippled across 9 months, and eventually be tied down to a bald, screaming, messy, malformed being that I wouldn't be able to tolerate if they were an adult and actually looked good, but no, they look hideous, have no manners, and I want nothing to do with them.

Another problem, is that, due to genetics, I have a sneaking suspicion they would turn out like me. The world doesn't need that XD

LOL. :D I feel what you're saying - everything except that they "look hideous" and are "malformed". That's harsh. I'm a guy and I think babies are insanely cute. But, everyone will have their own reasons.
 

Katsuni

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LOL. :D I feel what you're saying - everything except that they "look hideous" and are "malformed". That's harsh. I'm a guy and I think babies are insanely cute. But, everyone will have their own reasons.

Could be worse... one friend I know actually told his girlfriend "Yeu may be beautiful now, but yeu were an ughly baby".

She wasn't amused, but considering who it was comming from, at least she understood XD

In any case, they are fat, their heads are bumpy and bald and not of normal shape, so on and so forth. The drooling, throwing up, crapping themselves, and generally other gross behaviour is... ew.
 

SinistralPal

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I would like to have kids eventually. Maybe the stork can drop them off a bit later when they are fully grown and ready to head off to the work force though.
 

Coriolis

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Why are you not asking this question of NT (or NF) men? It takes two to make a baby, and ideally two to raise one as well.
 

Kasper

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Why are you not asking this question of NT (or NF) men? It takes two to make a baby, and ideally two to raise one as well.

It's just as valid of a question, but it's a very different question, going through pregnancy and child birth has an impact on women that men don't experience. And that impact could be the deciding factor for someone when making a choice about if they want to have children.
 

Totenkindly

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I have three kids, ages 12-15. One is adopted.

I was scared at first that I would not be able to connect with my kids and I would feel tied down/burdened by them, but the funny thing was that I found I actually enjoyed them.

Still, my life had to change a great deal and become more scheduled, I gave up doing some things on my schedule (such as TV shows and the like), money of course gets spent differently. But they have always been rewarding and I feel privileged to have been part of their life. The older they get, also, the more I love being able to talk to them and see them act autonomously, chasing after their own dreams and interests and building a life outside the family... which means they can bring stuff back to the family.

I still remember when my eldest said something funny that caught me completely off-guard. Usually I'm imaginative enough that I am not surprised, but he was maybe eight or so and said something far other than what I had anticipated in order to make a joke, and it was really funny AND I hadn't anticipated his comment. That was a real rush, and it was another, "Wow, I love my kids" moment. I just love seeing them growing into adults and having minds and visions of their own.
 

Coriolis

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It's just as valid of a question, but it's a very different question, going through pregnancy and child birth has an impact on women that men don't experience. And that impact could be the deciding factor for someone when making a choice about if they want to have children.
Yes, men do not experience pregnancy and childbirth directly. The experience of parenthood goes far beyond that, though, and most of it can be shared fairly even-handedly between men and women. It seems that as long as questions about child rearing are directed only or primarily at women, issues impacting children, families, and especially work/family balance will continue to be viewed as "women's issues" rather than the universal issues they really are. Until this impact is widely acknowledged, we cannot expect lasting systemic solutions.
 

Xenon

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I'm not feeling that "strong, innate" desire for kids of my own. I like kids well enough. I have a half-brother 12 years younger than I am, and it's been a lot of fun watching him grow up.

But having my own isn't on the agenda right now. I am heading into my late 20s, and in a lot of ways I've been quite psychologically and relationally stunted over the years. I have serious doubts about whether I'll be able to raise reasonably healthy kids. Unless and until I can make some serious changes in myself, and get in enough of the kind of life experiences most people have had by my age (or make peace with missing out on them), I would not consider it. And that may not happen before it's too late.

I might consider kids if I ever find myself in a time and situation that does feel right for them. If that doesn't happen, it doesn't happen. I don't see myself going on some desperate manhunt in my forties.
 

INTPness

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Why are you not asking this question of NT (or NF) men? It takes two to make a baby, and ideally two to raise one as well.

LOL. Someone asked the same question in the NF thread. Here was my response:

Originally Posted by Aleksei
What the hell is it with these NF polls and excluding guys?

Ha ha. I'm a dude. A hetero dude. Therefore, your vote would mess up my lab results. Bwahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

You can still share your thoughts as an NF guy. I just mainly wanted to see how the NF ladies view this *very big life decision*.


Basically, I never said that two parents shouldn't be involved or anything like that. As a hetero guy, I'm just not as interested in the men's answers as I am in that of the opposite sex. I'm interested in the thought process of the opposite sex - the ones I will be raising a child with some day. I didn't think that the guys would be this interested and willing to participate in the thread. It's surprising, but it's good to see. So, go ahead and post your thoughts!
 

INTPness

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Yes, men do not experience pregnancy and childbirth directly. The experience of parenthood goes far beyond that, though, and most of it can be shared fairly even-handedly between men and women. It seems that as long as questions about child rearing are directed only or primarily at women, issues impacting children, families, and especially work/family balance will continue to be viewed as "women's issues" rather than the universal issues they really are. Until this impact is widely acknowledged, we cannot expect lasting systemic solutions.

It's not that its only a woman's issue. It certainly is a man's issue. I just posted a simple poll to ask women's opinions. Because I was only interested in polling women at this time, doesn't for one second mean that it's not a man's issue.

If I say I like dogs and want to learn more about the different breeds, does it follow that cats are unimportant to me?
 

Kasper

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Yes, men do not experience pregnancy and childbirth directly. The experience of parenthood goes far beyond that, though, and most of it can be shared fairly even-handedly between men and women. It seems that as long as questions about child rearing are directed only or primarily at women, issues impacting children, families, and especially work/family balance will continue to be viewed as "women's issues" rather than the universal issues they really are. Until this impact is widely acknowledged, we cannot expect lasting systemic solutions.

Sure, I agree, as I said they are both valid questions, they're just different questions and different things need to be taken into consideration is all. Start a thread about NT/NF men and kids, I'm sure just as many people will be interested in answering.
 

INTPness

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Sure, I agree, as I said they are both valid questions, they're just different questions and different things need to be taken into consideration is all. Start a thread about NT/NF men and kids, I'm sure just as many people will be interested in answering.

Perfect!
 

ceecee

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I have two sons, 16 and 20. I have a step son that's 8 and a step daughter that's 12 and they are just as much my children as if I birthed them. For as bad a mother as I thought I'd be, I think I did pretty well. I am very nurturing with my family, it's the rest of the world I don't care so much about.
 

Uytuun

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I never really got 17 y/o girls saying they *really* *really* wanted children in 10 years' time.

At this point I don't feel an innate desire for children, but I don't think I'd abort if I got pregnant (not because of religious or moral reasons or that stuff).

I like the curious little kids...they come and peek at me when I'm reading and I smile at them and say hi...you can see the wonder in their eyes. I always feel kinda held back by the surrounding parents/adults in my interactions with them, though.
 

Totenkindly

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It's not that its only a woman's issue. It certainly is a man's issue. I just posted a simple poll to ask women's opinions. Because I was only interested in polling women at this time, doesn't for one second mean that it's not a man's issue.

If I say I like dogs and want to learn more about the different breeds, does it follow that cats are unimportant to me?

Yes. This logically follows.

Yuck! INTPness d00d!!!! Dogs r teh suk!!!! Stop kat h8t!!!!
 
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