[NT] NT women - do you want kids?

[Katsuni]

Yuck! INTPness d00d!!!! Dogs r teh suk!!!! Stop kat h8t!!!!

Plees no hayt teh katz we iz teh kyuute

 

[Amethyst]

It depends on how my life goes.
If I actually find someone that I love and trust enough and is willing to help make offspring with me, is able to take care of them as much as I am, and I am financially stable and bored with my own life and think I'll be bored for another 18 years, then yeah. I'd probably want children.
They might such at first, but if you raise them right they can be a great benefit.

 

[Totenkindly]

At worst, you could always be rational and say, "Who's gonna take care of me when I'm doddering around and can't remember where I left my dentures, let alone my car keys?"

 

[Amethyst]

At worst, you could always be rational and say, "Who's gonna take care of me when I'm doddering around and can't remember where I left my dentures, let alone my car keys?"

That's exactly how I feel about it. Actually, I locked my car keys, and house keys, in the house before going to work the other day. Fail.

 

[mrcockburn]

Hell no.

 

[Tallulah]

At worst, you could always be rational and say, "Who's gonna take care of me when I'm doddering around and can't remember where I left my dentures, let alone my car keys?"

That's actually the best argument I've been able to come up with for myself. I do kind of think it's sad not to have your kids around you in old age. Though lots of people have kids and they could give a crap about their parents in old age.

I have never had a maternal desire. I like kids individually. My niece and nephew crack me up, but they also exhaust me no end. I really don't have a lot of energy, and I'm pretty protective of my time. Also, I hate wasting my energy directing people to do something or quit doing something. Grow up, dangit! I really can't imagine enjoying micromanaging every second of someone's day.

 

[Totenkindly]

... I really can't imagine enjoying micromanaging every second of someone's day.

I think part of it is for me the difficulty I've always experienced in finding intimacy with people. I do best if I work with them / are forced into situations where I have (or have a reason) to spend time with them.

Parenting kids gives you an automatic place in someone's life for the rest of your life and theirs. You belong to each other. Even if things go to crap, nothing changes who your parents and kids are. So with my kids I felt like it was okay for me to relate and involve myself and invest and give, I didn't feel like an intruder, and I had a rational reason to do so. You just end up spending so much time together that you end up close because of the shared experiences, aside from any abusive situations.

When the kids get older, there's less micromanaging going on; it becomes more about "Are they capable of going/doing what they want without getting hurt or into a bind?" and other sorts of general questions. The early years are kind of hellish, though. Still, I think that generally whatever you invest in will become valuable to you because of the sacrifice, so after awhile the relationship tends to become important even if at first it felt like a bother.

 

[Tallulah]

I think part of it is for me the difficulty I've always experienced in finding intimacy with people. I do best if I work with them / are forced into situations where I have (or have a reason) to spend time with them.

Parenting kids gives you an automatic place in someone's life for the rest of your life and theirs. You belong to each other. Even if things go to crap, nothing changes who your parents and kids are. So with my kids I felt like it was okay for me to relate and involve myself and invest and give, I didn't feel like an intruder, and I had a rational reason to do so. You just end up spending so much time together that you end up close because of the shared experiences, aside from any abusive situations.

When the kids get older, there's less micromanaging going on; it becomes more about "Are they capable of going/doing what they want without getting hurt or into a bind?" and other sorts of general questions. The early years are kind of hellish, though. Still, I think that generally whatever you invest in will become valuable to you because of the sacrifice, so after awhile the relationship tends to become important even if at first it felt like a bother.

This makes sense to me. Family is important to me, and I know I would love my kids. But I really can't imagine myself giving up so many years for the diapering, feeding, playdate, soccer, whatever stuff, and not having time for myself. I fear that I would become really cranky and resentful. Especially since I feel like I'm just hitting my stride in my 30s. On the other hand, I wonder if I'm choosing to be selfish, and rejecting an experience that would help me to grow like no other. The problem is, my desire to have kids is practically non-existant, so it's hard to want to make the leap of faith. If I ended up with someone I really loved, who was responsible and wanted at least one kid but didn't pressure me, I would seriously consider it.

 

[Gamine]

Seriously, I'd love to have a family one day, I really would.


But in the mean time, I'm fine with having children eat carrots until their skin turns orange who will work for next to nothing in my candy factory.

Edit: The above is why I should not reproduce for a while...

 

[Havane]

I'd really like to raise a couple of kids, but the thought of enduring pregnancy and childbirth is very unappealing. If I ever have kids, I will most likely adopt them. Our world is overpopulated enough as it is.

 

[Reflection]

Someday, yes, sure. I want to have a kid. Possibly even two. In about 10 years. Yeah, that sounds about right.

 

[Coriolis]

If I say I like dogs and want to learn more about the different breeds, does it follow that cats are unimportant to me?

No, but if you say you are interested in housepets and focus your attention only on dogs, one might easily wonder why. The general topic of wanting children applies to a broader group than the target of your OP question. The explanation you have given makes sense, but without it, the reader could only speculate on why you were focusing on women's responses.

 

[lastrailway]

I want kids, in the sense that I like kids, get along great with them and would like to have one and watch it grow up and become an adult.

I'm unsure when or whether I'll actually try to have one, for all sort of reasons. Among others, I suspect I'd suck as a mother and, thus, kids would be better off with some other woman who would be more mature emotionally, more dependable, more affectionate and more willing to give up a big part of her interests in order to dedicate her kids the time they deserve.

 

[theadoor]

Maybe someday after 15-20 years, but now the answer is definitely NO.

 

[Misty_Mountain_Rose]

I was an eldest child and hyper responsible for my younger siblings as I grew up. Having a child after I was an adult seemed natural to me. I'd already been a parent my whole life, so it didn't feel any different.

Now, ten years later, my daughter is still the miracle of my world. I see myself in her and I see where we are beginning to diverge. Its exciting wondering where her interests will take her and I'm always wondering if there is something else I can do to make the foundation that she'll base the rest of her life on that much more solid. Its the 'grand experiment' of my life and I can't imagine anything else being more satisfying. (LOL for instance, she just came by and read this and, wanting to go out to eat, she said 'More satisfying? ... A burger.)

 

[INTPness]

I was an eldest child and hyper responsible for my younger siblings as I grew up. Having a child after I was an adult seemed natural to me. I'd already been a parent my whole life, so it didn't feel any different.

Now, ten years later, my daughter is still the miracle of my world. I see myself in her and I see where we are beginning to diverge. Its exciting wondering where her interests will take her and I'm always wondering if there is something else I can do to make the foundation that she'll base the rest of her life on that much more solid. Its the 'grand experiment' of my life and I can't imagine anything else being more satisfying. (LOL for instance, she just came by and read this and, wanting to go out to eat, she said 'More satisfying? ... A burger.)

That's nice. I liked reading that. Is your child an NT? And, did she get her burger?

 

[Vie]

I want to have three to five kids...but not now. Maybe eight to ten years from now...but right now, I'm focusing on kicking ass in school. Kids can't possibly enter the equation now.

 

[Redbone]

But I really can't imagine myself giving up so many years for the diapering, feeding, playdate, soccer, whatever stuff, and not having time for myself. I fear that I would become really cranky and resentful.

Take it from me--I've got four and you don't have to do all that stuff. Just feed and clean them occasionally and it will all be fine!