[ENTP] ENTPs and Planning

[StephMC]

Alright. I'm confused about this. And I need all you ENTPs to help shine some light on this.

I've had an ENTP best friend for years, and I dated another briefly. From my exposure, I was under the impression ENTPs were just as free spirited, drop-everything-for-something-more-appealing as I was. I'm questioning this now that I've been dating another for 8 months. Granted, I always knew NTPs tended to be a little bit more scheduled and a planner than SPs were, but I figured ENTPs were pretty dang close.

So based on conversations I've had with my current ENTP about this, he seems to be more of a planner than I would have expected. He feels that in order to get all his wide variety of interests in, he has to schedule constantly. However, one of these things he is pursuing future career and takes very seriously. We very occasionally butt heads on this because I assume (granted, I shouldn't.. I know this ) that he'll drop everything for something fun I want to do. Or if I didn't give an exact time for something I mentioned I wanted to do in a day or two, he'll plan something else instead. How I function is to expect something is coming up and just make sure everything I have to do is flexible so I can just move it around when it happens. This isn't an issue with us, perse, I'm just curious as to if this is how ENTPs -really- are or if he's just an exception. Either way, any kind of input will help me understand where I'm assuming things when I shouldn't be

So the bottom line: How do you ENTPs fit in all your wide variety of interests? Do you feel scheduled or do you feel free spirited? Or somewhere in between? Are there any specific areas where you're a planner and others where you're super flexible?

 

[Kasper]

If there's something I want to do that I'm not obsessively passionate about, or wish to remain consistent with, such as going to a gym, then following a schedule is best as I will otherwise get distracted, lose track of time at work until it's too late and the gym has closed for the day and then not go.

Ne isn't as action orientated as your Se, it loves newness but it can be rather theoretical, when it comes to physical activity I'm not as "jump to it" as my ISFP sis or ISTP friend, I love their spontaneity and will often go along with them because it's hella fun but it's a different kind of spontaneous to what I'm about, I consider myself always open to new ideas, thoughts, suggestions etc and happy to go with the flow when it comes to action.

 

[Halla74]

Alright. I'm confused about this. And I need all you ENTPs to help shine some light on this.

You're getting an ESTP opinion whether you like it or not.

...From my exposure, I was under the impression ENTPs were just as free spirited, drop-everything-for-something-more-appealing as I was. I'm questioning this now that I've been dating another for 8 months. Granted, I always knew NTPs tended to be a little bit more scheduled and a planner than SPs were, but I figured ENTPs were pretty dang close.

Remember, N/S is a spectrum, just like the other four functions.

I am near balanced on N/S and P/J:

SENSING (S) 60% ||| intuitive 40%
THINKING (T) 72.22% ||| feeling (f) 27.78%
PERCEIVING (P) 51.43% ||| judging (j) 48.57%

So, accordingly, maybe an xSTP, if balanced on N/S, has a fair probability of exhibiting a (balanced) ENTP's behaviors in some capacities, ala scheduling and what not and so on and so forth...

So based on conversations I've had with my current ENTP about this, he seems to be more of a planner than I would have expected. He feels that in order to get all his wide variety of interests in, he has to schedule constantly.

Sounds like me!
Looks like you found yourself a MAN instead of a BOY.
He wants to get his shite done, good for him, and good for you too, as you are not dating a sheep.
Sheep are good for two things: (1) supplying wool for sweaters, and (2) generating "condom skin."

However, one of these things he is pursuing future career and takes very seriously. We very occasionally butt heads on this because I assume (granted, I shouldn't.. I know this ) that he'll drop everything for something fun I want to do. Or if I didn't give an exact time for something I mentioned I wanted to do in a day or two, he'll plan something else instead.

His future career is a pillar of reality that betters him whether or not you are around.
If I were you, I'd focus on some of your future stuff when he is focusing on his future stuff, so then the two of you have a break from each other, and then get all hot and bothered when you see each other again.

Also, I'll bet there is a determinable relationship between how you dress/act and his propensity to ditch current plans and check out yours instead. Call it a hunch, whatever you wish, just know that in the mind of a thinking perceiver, all is being negotiated constantly in real time, yet we are animals, and prone to certain things ranking higher on our value system than others...AHEM...<cough>...T&A...AaaaahChooo!. Damn allergies...

How I function is to expect something is coming up and just make sure everything I have to do is flexible so I can just move it around when it happens. This isn't an issue with us, perse, I'm just curious as to if this is how ENTPs -really- are or if he's just an exception. Either way, any kind of input will help me understand where I'm assuming things when I shouldn't be

I think the commonalitites are greater than the disparities.
Both types live "on the fly", they're motivations are just slightly different.

So the bottom line: How do you ENTPs fit in all your wide variety of interests? Do you feel scheduled or do you feel free spirited? Or somewhere in between? Are there any specific areas where you're a planner and others where you're super flexible?

All other things in life bow to my cardinal priorities.
Once they are accomodated I am very open and spontaneous with my time.

I favor activities and events that broaden my perception and allow me to connect with new and interesting people.

I like finding a crowd of strangers and interacting with the to determine just how far I can push them from where they are to where I think they should be.

I am scheduled for things that matter to me, I am super flexible for the opportunity to experience new things that have potential to broaden my horizons, or to just enjoy my autonomy and take in the rush of life that resides within every second.

I hope some of this was helpful.

 

[ReflecTcelfeR]

Is he very good at organizing his schedule? It may not be type so much as being forced into learning how to organize because of the amount of hobbies he wishes to pursue.

 

[Kasper]

Upon contemplation I'd use the word impulsive to describe me, rather than spontaneous.

spontaneous implies lack of prompting and connotes naturalness <a spontaneous burst of applause>

impulsive implies acting under stress of emotion or spirit of the moment <impulsive acts of violence>

The SPs I know are truly spontaneous, if I'm there and feel like it then I'll do it, but otherwise meh. Which is why planning can be a benefit, I expect that once I reach a destination (ie social gathering) then I'll enjoy myself but if I have to interrupt something I'm doing to be there then an activity that was pre-planned is more likely to eventuate.

 

[Katsuni]

I've found planning virtually never works; no matter how well thought out it is, no matter how many backup plans yeu have, no matter how many possibilities yeu cover, something impossible to predict always messes it up.

Hence, my 'planning' is generally very, exceedingly loose and more just generalized vague concepts or ideas, loosely strung together. Sorry for repeating words but I just woke up like 5 minutes ago XD

Anyways, I "plan" stuff, it just doesn't look like a plan to anyone else, because there's so little coherency, and virtually all specific details are lacking.

HOWEVER...

On things that are possible to prepare for, there is occasionally a strict timeline, but only if it's something that absolutely HAS to be done, that is of exceeding importance, that I'll be distracted or fail to do completely if left to my own devices.

Right now, I've got 2 days left to finish all my work for college this term. If I don't pass any of the three courses that I'm ALMOST done but just barely am not finished... then I basically am out of school for 3 months straight, with no ability to correct the error. As such, I absolutely HAVE to ride a strict deadline. Even this is fairly loose, but fun and entertainment, friends and so on are all on the distant back burner while I take care of this immediate problem as fast as possible.

If I fail to do this, the consequences are... not good. I can't let that happen. So I have no games, no distractions, nothing else in my way because I can't let them get in my way right now. I know how easily distracted I am, and that any offer of 'fun', I'll have a hard time saying no to, regardless of the shape or form it may present itself in.

Now, that being said, I fit in my interests as they come naturally. They just do whot they do when they do it XD I don't bother scheduling 'fun', it'd never work since I'd get hung up on one or two things more than others anyway.

As for yeur situation, yeu said he's pursuing a future career and takes it very seriously, probably very similar to my situation. I'm sure he WANTS to have fun, but also realizes he's easily distracted as well probably, and any deviation from that will probably cost him the dream. That's the only thing that ever causes me to structure my time to that degree, is when it's absolutely essential to get something I want, and I imagine he's not THAT much different.

As such, just understand that fun stuff will probably pull him away from things he absolutely MUST do, or suffer dire consequences, which's probably why he wants a scheduled date for fun. If he thinks it's that important, I'd probably say respect that belief, or at least ask to see if that really is the cause =3

Chances are, once he doesn't have something so dire looming overhead, he'll probably revert back to a carefree individual. I've never known myself to be able to maintain any kind of time management for any length of time, once the immediate threat is gone. He may be more structured than I, I'm not sure, but chances are he's not as structured as he seems right now by a long shot =3

 

[proximo]

Is he very good at organizing his schedule? It may not be type so much as being forced into learning how to organize because of the amount of hobbies he wishes to pursue.

Yeah, this rings true to me... I'm not a natural scheduler or planner, but because I just have so damn much to do, if I want to actually do it, and not end up with chores and work stuff piled up like a big "to do" mountain (which is a real drag), then I have to schedule a bit otherwise things get WAYYY out of control.

Also Trinity's distinction between "spontaneous" and "impulsive" is very pertinent here...

I can be both... for example, I drive my ESFJ daughter crazy by doing things like waking her up in the morning and saying "Come on, we're going camping in France" and she's like "" - I just decided on it the previous evening and booked a ferry ticket online. A month is about as far ahead as I'll ever want to have my life planned/mapped out, and I don't even really like that, it's only necessity that forces me to be organised. I once left a job for the sole reason that they timetabled all my tasks and shifts for 3 months ahead, and I felt literally suffocated by it and became properly depressed.

But on the other hand, it's about a 50/50 chance I'll drop everything if you suggest we do something "right now" - Depending whether I've got nothing I have to be doing at that moment and whether I've got enough cash spare... and whether I'm too tired, really, from everything I've already done that day.

 

[Amethyst]

Plans are for J's :rolli:

If anything is 'planned' for me, it's usually very quickly planned and thought out, and comes with a lot of 'plan b's c's d's' etc. and I logically consider the odds in which something will happen, which is more of a Ti thing.
If I'm under a lot of stress at school, I tend to just schedule out my day in order to decrease the stress, then go back to being lil ol' me again.

 

[mrcockburn]

Oh, I'm definitely a planner. I plan my projects, my day, my life, everything. Now, to-do lists are taking it a bit far (I'm still a P, buddy), but I HATE spending the day without a course of action. Just sitting around going "meh. Whatever." If you can efficiently execute a plan, it's more possible to squeeze in everything you WANT to do (and have to do). (And you WANT to do the things you HAVE to do in order to do the things you WANT to do.) <--- Essential NP ramblette.

Bottom line is, I know exactly what I want to do in 5 years.

 

[mrcockburn]

I can be both... for example, I drive my ESFJ daughter crazy by doing things like waking her up in the morning and saying "Come on, we're going camping in France" and she's like "" - I just decided on it the previous evening and booked a ferry ticket online.

Lucky lucky girl. I wish I was your daughter when I was younger!

 

[Katsuni]

I can be both... for example, I drive my ESFJ daughter crazy by doing things like waking her up in the morning and saying "Come on, we're going camping in France" and she's like "" - I just decided on it the previous evening and booked a ferry ticket online.

Despite being entp myself, that'd irritate me greatly; usually I have alot of stuff going on and I don't like being interrupted for long times.

Yeu should've seen me when I got stuck in the hospital for a week after being diagnosed with diabetes. No access to forums, to AIM, or contact with friends online? I was going freaking NUTS pacing around panicing as I was worried they'd be worried I was dead or something, since the last thing I did was say I was sick and going to the hospital >.>

If I don't have enough time to prepare for something which drags me away from friends for a long time without getting to warn them, I get very panicy and can't truly enjoy it.

I didn't even care for christmas this year; went 'home' for the holidays... meant to stop by for a day and drop off presents. Got stuck there for a week straight with no net access, and was going crazy.

Soooo yeah. Just realize that kids these days have alot of things tying them down, and ripping them away abruptly doesn't necessarily have anything to do with type, as it does that if yeu interrupt or pull them away from something they're clinging to, it isn't necessarily a good thing

I doubt they mind the trip, so much as they mind the "no time to let friends know wth's going on".

 

[proximo]

Despite being entp myself, that'd irritate me greatly; usually I have alot of stuff going on and I don't like being interrupted for long times.

Yeu should've seen me when I got stuck in the hospital for a week after being diagnosed with diabetes. No access to forums, to AIM, or contact with friends online? I was going freaking NUTS pacing around panicing as I was worried they'd be worried I was dead or something, since the last thing I did was say I was sick and going to the hospital >.>

If I don't have enough time to prepare for something which drags me away from friends for a long time without getting to warn them, I get very panicy and can't truly enjoy it.

I didn't even care for christmas this year; went 'home' for the holidays... meant to stop by for a day and drop off presents. Got stuck there for a week straight with no net access, and was going crazy.

Soooo yeah. Just realize that kids these days have alot of things tying them down, and ripping them away abruptly doesn't necessarily have anything to do with type, as it does that if yeu interrupt or pull them away from something they're clinging to, it isn't necessarily a good thing

I doubt they mind the trip, so much as they mind the "no time to let friends know wth's going on".

Yeah... with all due respect though, the scenario you describe is completely alien to my family's philosophy and way of life... for instance, when my daughter was in hospital without access to the things you mention, she just shrugged and read her book, and made conversation with the other people in the ward. When I asked if she wanted me to bring her cellphone in, she told me not to bother, she was enjoying the peace and time to get her head together.

I never force them to come with me to anything I do, whether it's church, trips, activities or anything else - we have friends & family nearby who they're happy to stay with if they don't want to join in and, due to financial constraints, it could never be a frequent enough occurrence to qualify as "traumatising" in any case.

The main reason my daughter growls when I spring things on her is usually just because she didn't get time to wash her favourite sweater, or something similarly trivial, or else just the sheer unexpectedness of it; she's over it in 5 minutes and excited about seeing our family and friends in France.

If, by some chance, she were to say "But I'm expected at the county roadshow with the Army cadets this weekend!" then I'm not such an asshole that I'd say "tough shit!" I'd move heaven and earth to ensure she could still do what she planned and cancel my trip if no other solution could be found. That's unlikely to happen though, because I'd know about her plans and if the thought had occurred to me the night before to go to France, I'd have said to myself "Ah well, I don't want her to miss her roadshow, so I'll book it for the week after instead".