I'd agree with this... I don't want a fight, contrary to popular opinion. I like a lively discussion, heated even. But if the other person is taking things personally, or getting personal towards me, it's just exhausting and not fun at all. I'm talking about ideas and not the people who are expressing them.
I tend not to be terribly attached to most of the ideas I throw out - they're just "things" that have sorta waved themselves under my (nose as it were) so I've grabbed at them and shown them to you and said "hey, how about this?"... this is the basis of a lot of misunderstanding I think, between myself and my INFJ's... Misunderstandings going on all round, I think. Them thinking I really mean what I say when I'm just testing a theory, so it's tedious when they sorta "judge" me by what I said as though it had been a statement of a deeply held personal opinion; me thinking they're just testing a theory when they really mean what they say, so upsetting them by tramping all over their deeply held personal opinion, putting it in a test tube and shaking it all up...
They start to understand that I don't always mean everything I say, so then thinking I'm never serious or committed to anything... me starting to understand that they usually do mean what they say, so then thinking they're rigid and unwilling to discuss or update their views - both misapprehensions that seem so obvious in the cold light of day, but difficult to perceive or do undo the damage once you've started fighting...
So... I've usually ended up wishing I'd never said anything in the first place, and not as a judgement on them, but just a sense of regret over the whole mess, cos I only tend to see what's happened when it's too late to backtrack and put it right, the damage is done and I'm now an asshole in their eyes. And then - the doorslam.
