[NT] INT's... How did YOU flirt today?

[Thinkaboutit]

Well I'm just starting law school and I've been flirting with this girl in class for the first few weeks. The first week she actually made sure to sit next to me and I've learned to make the most of these kinds of situations. My arrogance works in my favor when I actually do the reading and know the answers. I helped her out when she got called on one day, and when I got called out on it, he stayed on me for almost the rest of class. Too bad for the prof. I was trying to impress and he just couldn't trick me though he tried hard. I have a knack for oration when I know my stuff. I noticed her blush instantly when I whispered to her after. We've been on about three dates since then and now I just need to take it to the next level; the "I like you" level. Uhh that parts too hard. Maybe I will just keep making her adore me.

Oh yeah, Playing the guitar for her didn't hurt her opinion of me either. Especially since I learned a crazy song that she asked me to learn. "Plateau" by meat puppets. I mean it's a cool song I guess but, WTF that's what you want me to learn. Good thing I had a repertoire of more sensual music to change the mood.

 

[InTheFlesh]

This thread is very entertaining for some reason
But I'm pretty awful at flirting too. I didn't really understand the concept or how to take part in it until a year or so ago, and when I learned, I realized I'd missed quite a few opportunities

 

[Redbone]

I didn't today.

I just went around with my "what's the matter?" face.

Scared everyone away.

 

[ReflecTcelfeR]

I'm trying... perhaps I'm being too subtle?

 

[Thinkaboutit]

I'm trying... perhaps I'm being too subtle?

YES!!!! For the Love of God INTPs you are being much to subtle!!
I will say I know what it's like to want to talk to someone and know that you will likely run out of things to say. I can't imbue more confidence in you, however I can tell you of an experiment that helped me.

Step 1) Spot a girl or guy who is attractive and who you have NEVER talked to before. (btw this has to be in like a coffee shop or some place were the other party is not too busy)
Step 2) Force yourself to talk to them about something appropriate in the situation. i.e. Damn these lines are always too long, or I've never seen a ___ like that before. (though you actually have)
Step 3) This is the hardest part! Keep it going. I dont expect you to do a good job, in fact the reason I said to make sure you have NEVER talked to the person before is because the experiment is designed to fail.

Psych yourself up, nothing bad can really happen when your just trying to make small talk. Before you go on this mission, tell yourself you are about to fail and make sure that you know with 100% certainty that this will be the outcome. I know it sounds strange but it can help. INTs have a tendency to see every potential SO they talk to as the ONE. This hurts our ability to hold any significant casual conversation. There is a headfake to this experiment but I really want any INTP or INTJ who is struggling with casual conversation to do the steps exactly as prescribed.

I'm a INTJ granted but I, like alot of other INTJs, test as INTP often. I suck at casual conversation but I get dates all the time now. It's the first hump thats the hardest to get over. It gets so much easier once you know the person, just allow yourself to get in.

Also, don't give me the "This is not my true personality" rationalization for why not to do it, I don't want to hear it. If you want help, do the experiment, otherwise continue to fish for pity from all the Extraverts out there that think your just soo cute.

 

[You]

Genuinely, I don't see the point. It's a game for halfwits, cowards and fakes, as far as I can discern. Vacuous people. Not being skilled in flirtation is a sign of character, nothing to be ashamed of.
Flirts are boring at best, deceitful at worst, and irritating, mostly.

I searched this post out just to say your an asshole.

But now I see where you are coming from.

 

[Kalyrn]

I did it!
Today I flirted with the Parking attendant at the University.
Yay me.

 

[BlackCat]

I did it!
Today I flirted with the Parking attendant at the University.
Yay me.

What didja do?

 

[Mr. Sherlock Holmes]

I don't ever flirt. Or I don't try to. I feel that flirting is not all that different than lying. You are using traditional tricks to project a false image of yourself onto other people. And since we live in a world of mostly S's and even some more traditional N's, no girl ever likes me as more than a friend. But hey. If it's not an honest relationship I don't want it.

 

[Moiety]

I don't ever flirt. Or I don't try to. I feel that flirting is not all that different than lying. You are using traditional tricks to project a false image of yourself onto other people. And since we live in a world of mostly S's and even some more traditional N's, no girl ever likes me as more than a friend. But hey. If it's not an honest relationship I don't want it.

SHERLOCK, SHERLOCK!!!!

 

[Mr. Sherlock Holmes]

SHERLOCK, SHERLOCK!!!!

Huh? Are you comparing me to the actual Sherlock Holmes? I'm flattered but I think he'd be annoyed. Especially since there was some suggestion of an actual desire for some sort of relationship in there. And Sherlock Holmes is not beyond flirting either. Remember when he got engaged to solve a case?

 

[Moiety]

I was just congratulating you for you conclusions with which I agree.

 

[Mr. Sherlock Holmes]

Oh, well then thankyou.

 

[Salomé]

I can tell you of an experiment that helped me.

Step 1) Spot a girl or guy who is attractive and who you have NEVER talked to before. (btw this has to be in like a coffee shop or some place were the other party is not too busy)
Step 2) Force yourself to talk to them about something appropriate in the situation. i.e. Damn these lines are always too long, or I've never seen a ___ like that before. (though you actually have)
Step 3) This is the hardest part! Keep it going. I dont expect you to do a good job, in fact the reason I said to make sure you have NEVER talked to the person before is because the experiment is designed to fail.

Psych yourself up, nothing bad can really happen when your just trying to make small talk. Before you go on this mission, tell yourself you are about to fail and make sure that you know with 100% certainty that this will be the outcome. I know it sounds strange but it can help. INTs have a tendency to see every potential SO they talk to as the ONE. This hurts our ability to hold any significant casual conversation. There is a headfake to this experiment but I really want any INTP or INTJ who is struggling with casual conversation to do the steps exactly as prescribed.

I'm a INTJ granted but I, like alot of other INTJs, test as INTP often. I suck at casual conversation but I get dates all the time now. It's the first hump thats the hardest to get over. It gets so much easier once you know the person, just allow yourself to get in.

Also, don't give me the "This is not my true personality" rationalization for why not to do it, I don't want to hear it. If you want help, do the experiment, otherwise continue to fish for pity from all the Extraverts out there that think your just soo cute.

Practicing casual conversation <> flirting.
I don't know why you are setting yourself up as some kind of expert if you don't even understand that fairly significant difference.

 

[Moiety]

Practicing casual conversation <> flirting.

Yeah, and it bugs me when people confuse the two. Flirting is not the same as engaging in an interesting conversation with someone.

 

[Mr. Sherlock Holmes]

Flirting is a sport. That's why ESTPs love it so much.

 

[entropie]

flörting brings the ö back en vogue

 

[ReflecTcelfeR]

Practicing casual conversation <> flirting.
I don't know why you are setting yourself up as some kind of expert if you don't even understand that fairly significant difference.

Yeah, conversations not that difficult. We just have to find a flaw and speak it to rouse a discussion. Flirting, on the other hand has a certain intent behind it that is unavoidable. It's presenting yourself to be 'taken'. It's a rather constrictive gesture.

 

[uncommonentity]

Flirting is for people who like to beat around the bush. I prefer to beat off onto a bush so I get straight to the point.

 

[Hera]

I'm actually an excellent flirt, lol.