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  1. #1
    Senior Member Into It's Avatar
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    Default My INTJ Girlfriend is always Late

    Always. And I mean really late. And I also mean always. Every single time I have ever invited her over, or she said she was coming over, she has been late, on average, by well over an hour. Actually, and I am speaking accurately, probably more like two hours on average. We've been dating about four months, and we spend time with eachother very frequently.

    I really do feel like most of the time she intends on coming "in an hour or so," and that she isn't just straight-up lieing for no reason, but she just doesn't come. Right now I'm waiting for her to come over, hence the post, but I have thought of mentioning this to you before to hear your thoughts. On Friday morning she left to go to her parents house about two hours away from here, and she told me she would be coming back the next day, Saturday. But she stayed another night. And then I spoke to her Sunday, and she said she would probably be coming back in a little while...but then she made the decision to stay another night. She came back a few hours ago, and I've been waiting for her to come since then.

    I'm an ENFP. And I'm intensely N, and intensely P. I am the last person to require or even consider punctuality, or so I have always thought. But now I see that I must have been mistaken, because she drives me crazy.

    So...INTJ's....does this concept of the always-late INTJ puzzle you? I have to say, it has made me doubt her type a thousand times, just this one quality...but I am very familiar with typology, and she's very 'I', I'm not convinced she needs people at all...ever. She's an NT. Very cool, very rational and understanding. I put her on the border of T/F for a while, but it is merely because she is female that she appears to have some F qualities. But whenever I ask myself the question, "Is much of her thought interpersonal? The answer is a comically emphatic No.



    But she's decisive and definitely has an excogitative mode of thinking, totally unlike the purely inward, contemplative INTP. And INTP's have a sort of...feel...about them...just take my word for it, she isn't one of them.

    I am especially curious to hear what any INTJ's have to think; if you are an INTJ who has stumbled upon this thread, I would really appreciate your two cents.
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  2. #2
    Senior Member Into It's Avatar
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    Interesting. I just checked my phone after typing this post, and I had a text message. She's going out to a mediterranean hookah bar/restaurant instead of coming over, apparently.
    An inscription above the gate to Hell:
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  3. #3
    Senior Member thescientist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Into It View Post
    Always. And I mean really late. And I also mean always. Every single time I have ever invited her over, or she said she was coming over, she has been late, on average, by well over an hour. Actually, and I am speaking accurately, probably more like two hours on average. We've been dating about four months, and we spend time with eachother very frequently.

    I really do feel like most of the time she intends on coming "in an hour or so," and that she isn't just straight-up lieing for no reason, but she just doesn't come. Right now I'm waiting for her to come over, hence the post, but I have thought of mentioning this to you before to hear your thoughts. On Friday morning she left to go to her parents house about two hours away from here, and she told me she would be coming back the next day, Saturday. But she stayed another night. And then I spoke to her Sunday, and she said she would probably be coming back in a little while...but then she made the decision to stay another night. She came back a few hours ago, and I've been waiting for her to come since then.

    I'm an ENFP. And I'm intensely N, and intensely P. I am the last person to require or even consider punctuality, or so I have always thought. But now I see that I must have been mistaken, because she drives me crazy.

    So...INTJ's....does this concept of the always-late INTJ puzzle you? I have to say, it has made me doubt her type a thousand times, just this one quality...but I am very familiar with typology, and she's very 'I', I'm not convinced she needs people at all...ever. She's an NT. Very cool, very rational and understanding. I put her on the border of T/F for a while, but it is merely because she is female that she appears to have some F qualities. But whenever I ask myself the question, "Is much of her thought interpersonal? The answer is a comically emphatic No.



    But she's decisive and definitely has an excogitative mode of thinking, totally unlike the purely inward, contemplative INTP. And INTP's have a sort of...feel...about them...just take my word for it, she isn't one of them.

    I am especially curious to hear what any INTJ's have to think; if you are an INTJ who has stumbled upon this thread, I would really appreciate your two cents.
    I am, unfortunately, guilty of the same. It is a curse. I'm sure if you voiced this to her she would make a conscious effort. I know when people are annoyed by it, I try extra hard to be there on time for them.

    Just let her know honestly how you feel about it.

    Why am I chronically late? I'm so caught up in what I'm currently doing and so absorbed in it, I completely lose track of time.

    Sometimes I even get caught up in the "getting ready" process. I enjoy getting dolled up. I just HATE doing things in a rush. I dunno...i really wish I knew WHY I have such trouble breaking this bad habit...

  4. #4
    Senior Member thescientist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Into It View Post
    Interesting. I just checked my phone after typing this post, and I had a text message. She's going out to a mediterranean hookah bar/restaurant instead of coming over, apparently.
    Interesting......

  5. #5
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    My INTJ boyfriend is always fucking late, too! :steam:

    I surmise it has something to do with Ni-time-space which is evidently different and unique from "real" time-space.
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  6. #6
    Aquaria mrcockburn's Avatar
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    Wow, a constantly-late INTJ?? Could be the Ni. Their minds muddled and bended by abstract crap when they should be Si/Te-ing their asses to where they're supposed to be.

    I have a serious punctuality issue too, but then, I'm an ENTP.

    However, if INTJs can be late, maybe I should re-consider my old ENTJ test results...
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  7. #7
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    I'm usually exceedingly punctual for more formalized or organized situations (walking into lecture even a minute late would cause embarrassment for me), and exceedingly unpredictable for casual get-togethers, depending on how tuned in I was to, you know, reality and the moment and stuff.

    She seems like she's being disrespectful, though. If I was more than an hour late one day I'd make double the effort to be early the next time as a gesture of respect for the other person's time.
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  8. #8
    Aquaria mrcockburn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Into It View Post
    Interesting. I just checked my phone after typing this post, and I had a text message. She's going out to a mediterranean hookah bar/restaurant instead of coming over, apparently.
    Oh that changes everything! No one can resist that, hookahs are great!
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  9. #9
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thescientist View Post
    I am, unfortunately, guilty of the same. It is a curse. I'm sure if you voiced this to her she would make a conscious effort. I know when people are annoyed by it, I try extra hard to be there on time for them.

    Just let her know honestly how you feel about it.

    Why am I chronically late? I'm so caught up in what I'm currently doing and so absorbed in it, I completely lose track of time.
    Definitely this

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  10. #10
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Something about their being Ni doms make INTJs weird regarding what we attribute to be typical "J behaviors", at least in my experience.
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

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