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[INTJ] My INTJ Girlfriend is always Late

ObeyBunny

New member
Joined
Mar 8, 2010
Messages
573
MBTI Type
INTJ
If she is a 'J,' I don't think she's a very strong one. Or she may have registered as 'j' on the MBTI test because she might be judgmental or highly interested in a physically organized workplace.

I’m a farley strong ‘J,’ and I usually over estimate how much time it will take me to do any one activity so that I can always compensate for any hold up that I could not have foreseen (Example: if I have to drive over a two mile stretch of road and I have no idea if there’s going to be traffic, I’ll just mentally calculate how much time it would take if I were driving that two mile stretch at five miles an hour. Something like twenty four minutes.)

To be honest, this is the first I’ve heard of an INTJ being consistently unpunctual.
How strong of a J is she? And if she is an extremely strong J, that begs the question: “are there different types of J’s?”
 

kevrawlings

New member
Joined
Jun 1, 2010
Messages
137
MBTI Type
ISTP
If the INTJ is on time, does anything good happen? Or do they have to stand around waiting for you to show up?

And this is what I meant by the combination of intuition and thinking causing them to rationalize away their tardiness. The combination leads to serial rationalization.
 

kevrawlings

New member
Joined
Jun 1, 2010
Messages
137
MBTI Type
ISTP
Ah, funny, a play on words. You're a mystery to everyone but yourselves INTJs, and you wouldn't have it any other way. Every reference is painfully arcane and meant to confound the lesser people.
 

Kalach

Filthy Apes!
Joined
Dec 3, 2008
Messages
4,310
MBTI Type
INTJ
Pffft.

Patterns, people.

One learns soon enough how to incorporate a P's spontaneity. If you plan something you can do whether the P shows up or not, you're golden.

Naturally, later, when the P person has some important thing they want to bear down on and be punctual about, they get to sit upon the petard.



A petard is someone who doesn't understand the serious and compelling nature of extraverted perception and how it is legitimately more important than all other things, except when the extraverted perceiver wants to lasoo themselves into some "plan", in which case everyone else still has the wrong priorities and will pay dearly.
 

Ratsimoan

New member
Joined
Mar 25, 2010
Messages
289
MBTI Type
enfp
Enneagram
4w5
Wow! I'll have to say that reading this thread is like being in a Twilight Zone episode. INTJ late all the time? ENFP complaining about it? Move over Rod Serling.... we have, ladies and gentlemen, entered the Twilight Zone.

I'd say talk to her. Perhaps she's not adequately considered how her actions are affecting the people around her. Noooo. No INTJ would ever do that....no sirree bob. :devil:

I feel the same way- Twilight Zone. I never heard of an intj being late, at least, a hour or more late. They must want to avoid something, it would be assume if it's you! :cry:
 

durentu

New member
Joined
Mar 18, 2008
Messages
411
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
throwing typology away


If she is constantly late to meet you, it means that she doesn't respect you. Don't torture yourself, break it off. If she has a habit of being late, she will always be late. Don't buy into the fantasy that she'll be on time later for anything, important or not.

Have some respect for yourself. drop her.

If you were indeed important to her, she wouldn't be late. Why? Because one is never late for the thing that one wants.

EDIT:
Explaining her behavior through typology is another way of excusing her behavior. You don't need that drama.
 

kevrawlings

New member
Joined
Jun 1, 2010
Messages
137
MBTI Type
ISTP
And your insight into the matter was remarkable, you as an INTJ 5-10 minutes late eh, kind of supports my theory doesn't it?

Check your sarcasm detector, it seems to be broken.


Yeah, it's funny how some people take the test and score INTJ, and then they have this revelation that their suspicions about their profound intelligence were correct all along. So they go around and flippantly dismiss things using one word retorts, because they're too intellectually incompetent to actually debate it point-by-point.
 

Kalach

Filthy Apes!
Joined
Dec 3, 2008
Messages
4,310
MBTI Type
INTJ
Pffft. Ti users and "debate". Just because you guys don't know which way is up until you've vigorously examined the concepts of "up", "way" and "is" enough to agree to disagree doesn't mean other people have to debate too.

Know your bias, homos.
 

Tikka

New member
Joined
Aug 15, 2009
Messages
133
MBTI Type
INFJ
This INFJ is always a bit late and a procrastinator. ;)
 

hogwilde

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Joined
Jun 20, 2010
Messages
1
MBTI Type
INTJ
I'm generally pretty punctual and if I'm late it's usually intended. Like, I don't trust my friends to rock up when they say they will so I come a bit later to ensure everyone's there already and it's underway. If it's important to me I'm on time; for some reason I'd easily sleep through a lecture but can always get out bed for work.
 

Billy

Crazy Diamond
Joined
Oct 20, 2009
Messages
1,192
MBTI Type
INFJ
And this is what I meant by the combination of intuition and thinking causing them to rationalize away their tardiness. The combination leads to serial rationalization.

I Ni too and there is no rationalization for not being somewhere when you say you will be unless its something dire like someone is hurt or something.
 

Tikka

New member
Joined
Aug 15, 2009
Messages
133
MBTI Type
INFJ
The reason why I'm late is that I find moving myself from A to B is inefficient; I'd rather teleport from A to B.

If I'm doing something important or relaxing at A, I find transporting myself from A to B takes away time that I could still have been doing at A, regardless if B is something nice or not.

Then again, I'm a huge procrastinator (bad trait, I know), and those questions in MBTI tests always make sure I'm only a moderate J, not a full fledged one. ;)
 

Reflection

New member
Joined
Jun 13, 2010
Messages
344
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5
My INTJ friend is never late. It's me she always waits on, because I tend to get distracted and don't pay much attention to the time. But I've learned to set an alarm clock or I simply convince myself I have to be there at an earlier time - that way I'm always on time. :D

In response to the OP, I wouldn't say it's because she's INTJ. I rather think she's just being rude and not caring much about you.
 
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