[INTJ] My INTJ Girlfriend is always Late

[figsfiggyfigs]

I'm always late , to EVERYTHING... unless its something schedules, such as a train, and I've already bought a ticket for it.

I'm always always late, even when I try to make it on time, I'm still 5 minutes late.

I just don't notice time slip by....

 

[cafe]

I'm chronically late, but usually no more than 30 minutes and generally less than 15 minutes. I have no sense of time, or rather, my sense of time isn't in sync with actual time. Thirty minutes can take two hours to pass if I'm bored or five minutes if I'm absorbed in something. I set all kinds of alarms on my cell phone for kid-related stuff because I'm paranoid about missing an important pick up/drop off time.

My husband and my three older kids (INTP, INTJ, INFP, E?T?) all hate being late and are conscientiously punctual. The youngest one I'm not sure about how he feels about punctuality yet.

 

[thescientist]

I am like an ENFJ/INFJ hybrid but closer to ENFJ. I am always almost late to everything. Strong Ni can be a curse. If I am engrossed in something, I want to continue doing it rather than doing what I am supposed to be doing next. Typically, it's like this. 5 more minutes is going to be ok. 5 minutes is up. It will be all right if I do it for 10 more minutes. 10 minutes is up. Well, 15 more minutes won't make a difference. It continues and continues until in the end, it becomes "Oh shit, I should have gotten ready 30 minutes ago".

THIS! ^

 

[Rainne]

They do it on purpose...

 

[Aerithria]

The INTJs I know tend to be on time only if they consider it important. This behaviour in particular (ditching you to go to a restaurant, without telling you let alone asking if you wanted to come?) is pretty ridiculously rude, except perhaps if your meeting was extremely casual.

Have you considered that she could be istp, which can resemble intj in thoughts and behaviour? It's funny but istp is often more like intj than either is like intp (in my experience) - perhaps the shared Ni/Se. Your description didn't include much about being abstract which is why I'm mentioning this. ST is as "cool, rational and understanding" as NT.

Agreed. I'm almost always late (by a maximum of half an hour), but if I honestly want to be somewhere I'm there ten minutes early, guaranteed.

 

[kevrawlings]

Gandalf was an INTJ. He says, "A wizard is never late, he arrives exactly when he intends to." Unfortunately for the rest of us (the ones who realize that we aren't the center of the world) it's important to be on time for a variety of reasons.

Kidding, I love INTJs. I'm late sometimes, but not out of entitlement or arrogance. It's just my P preference coming out. I just don't care that much.

And come on . . . she's late because she's a girl, not because she's an INTJ.

YouTube - Brad Paisley With Andy Griffith - Waitin' On A Woman

The hipster, metrosexual, country singer Brad Paisley knows what I'm talkin about.

 

[mrcockburn]

Gandalf was an INTJ. He says, "A wizard is never late, he arrives exactly when he intends to."

Oh no, is this true? I had HOPES when I saw sparks in my eyes after eating the mushrooms I picked on the side of the road...

 

[kevrawlings]

It's true, Gandalf said it in the movie. He's a fictional character, but it's still pertinent.

Im convinced intuition, as it pertains to the myers briggs test, whether it's E or I, is a big "know-it-all" factor. Is it intuition, or assumption and arrogance?

 

[ez78705]

I don't know about others but I know I'm never late for something that I think it's important to be there on time. In that case everything is well planned in advance so that I can get there on time. But I can be really late for something that I secretly want to avoid.

I don't mean to imply that she secretly wants to avoid you but if she really is an INTJ who trusts you and you confront her about this, I believe she should already have a well-thought explanation for you.

 

[kevrawlings]

But I can be really late for something that I secretly want to avoid.

This.

 

[ez78705]

Interesting. I just checked my phone after typing this post, and I had a text message. She's going out to a mediterranean hookah bar/restaurant instead of coming over, apparently.

This is interesting. Changing plans in the last minute is something that I hate unless there is a good reason for it. It is possible that she is not an INTJ.

 

[Within]

This is interesting. Changing plans in the last minute is something that I hate unless there is a good reason for it. It is possible that she is not an INTJ.

Perhaps that was the plan all along, only she didn't include anyone in the details of it.

 

[Billy]

uhhh I dont think its Ni, I am a Ni dom and I am always early, I am ultra punctual.

 

[Billy]

Also she could be playing you, I know... a woman playing men.. whodathunkit. I dated an INTJ who was doing that to me and a few other guys and GIRLS. And she was always late too, always had an excuse for why she couldn't answer the phone, always just missed me, etc, things she didnt think I picked up on, but did instantly.

 

[kevrawlings]

uhhh I dont think its Ni, I am a Ni dom and I am always early, I am ultra punctual.

Probably the combo of iN and thinking. They think it's not worth their time.

 

[Weber]

Protip: a lot of females who claim they are, or even test as, INTJs are really not. I've known to occasionally be slightly late for casual get-togethers, but never this often. It sounds more like NP-behaviour of some kind.

 

[Porcelain]

I'm an INTJ and so is my boyfriend. We both avoid being late as much as possible.

 

[Esoteric Wench]

Wow! I'll have to say that reading this thread is like being in a Twilight Zone episode. INTJ late all the time? ENFP complaining about it? Move over Rod Serling.... we have, ladies and gentlemen, entered the Twilight Zone.

I'd say talk to her. Perhaps she's not adequately considered how her actions are affecting the people around her. Noooo. No INTJ would ever do that....no sirree bob.

 

[kevrawlings]

Perhaps she's not adequately considered how her actions are affecting the people around her. Noooo. No INTJ would ever do that....no sirree bob.

This.

 

[Kalach]

If the INTJ is on time, does anything good happen? Or do they have to stand around waiting for you to show up?


Hoist on your own petard, Ps.