[MBTI General] ESFP mom

[Lawren]

I posted this over in the SP Land, but thought that he really needs some fellow NT advice.

My best friend Dillon is an INTJ who lives with an ESFP mom.

Bad Combo.
As we often refer to Myers and Briggs to settle our disagreements with others, he wants to know how to help better his relationship with this type, and with his mother in general.

He's a.... shall we say very demeaning of ES Types especially, and obviously needs to learn to appreciate them. Communication is their big hang-up. He wants her to treat him fairly, and to be consistent, but doesn't have one nice thing to say to her, and that hurts her feelings. Oui.

Also, he's pretty trigger happy to assume anyone who is annoying is an ESFP or some sort of ESXX... I'm pretty sure there aren't that many ESFP's in the world. I'm just saying... So what other types does he NOT get along with?

One boy he was sure was an ESFP, turned out to be an INFP, and Dillon couldn't fathom him being an N, and still believes him an ESFP... ? The boy (Edward) just is kinda 'attachable' to us and can be unnaturally loud when he's comfortable. So... yeah, please if you have advice or experience to give, please do so.

 

[lets eat pie]

It sounds like he's being blinded by his own prejudices. MBTI is a tool to better understand other people and not as a way of labeling and shunning people. First, MBTI should not be used as a means to settle disagreements. It can be a way of helping you see the other side and understand how each party sees their position, but it can't be used to prove your point...because it doesn't prove anything.

It will be tough, but he needs to learn to stop looking at everyone as a label. If he intends to keep using MBTI labels, then maybe he should remind himself that INTJs are the sort to see things in different perspectives, and in order to see his relationship with his mother in a new way, he should ditch his current view (because it's obviously not doing any good in terms of repairing the relationship.) For example, perhaps he feels his mother is treating him unfairly because he is treating her unfairly?

 

[Betty Blue]

It sounds like he's being blinded by his own prejudices. MBTI is a tool to better understand other people and not as a way of labeling and shunning people. First, MBTI should not be used as a means to settle disagreements. It can be a way of helping you see the other side and understand how each party sees their position, but it can't be used to prove your point...because it doesn't prove anything.

It will be tough, but he needs to learn to stop looking at everyone as a label. If he intends to keep using MBTI labels, then maybe he should remind himself that INTJs are the sort to see things in different perspectives, and in order to see his relationship with his mother in a new way, he should ditch his current view (because it's obviously not doing any good in terms of repairing the relationship.) For example, perhaps he feels his mother is treating him unfairly because he is treating her unfairly?

Good points, well made.