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[NT] The NT Male's List of Dealbreakers:

D

Dali

Guest
I'm not trying to get into your (tweed) pants.

I'm just curious.
 

freedom geek

New member
Joined
May 18, 2009
Messages
158
MBTI Type
INTx
Enneagram
5
Irrationality (astrology, homeopathy, most theism, etc). Stupidity. Wanting children. Unacceptable difference in interests (not liking science/technology, not liking interesting hypothetical scenarios, liking sports, etc) and/or values (being anti-science/technology, opposition to transhumanism, being against the freedom of sapient beings, etc). A lack of curiosity or intellectualism (in the sense that one likes thinking). A lack of vision or imagination. Bad hygiene. Warning signs (going after guys for their money, etc). A lack of (what I see as) compatibility. Caring too much about social nonsense.

Not sure if that's all of them.
 

Jonny

null
Joined
Sep 8, 2009
Messages
3,134
MBTI Type
FREE
I'm not sure if anything is a deal breaker independent of other conditions. Generally, if the sum of her being is less than a particular level, I'll leave. Other than that, I can put up with quite a lot. Obviously murder, sadism, etc. are out of the question.

Edit:
Obesity
Bad Hygiene
Retardation
The smarter someone is, the more evil she can be before I'll want to leave.
Alternatively, the kinder someone is, the less intelligent she can be before I'll want to leave.


To gauge my experience, I have had relationships with:

ISFP - 3 months
ISFJ - 3 months
ESFJ - 3 months
ESTP - 2 months
INFP - 1 month
ENFJ - 4 years (current)

Or: 2 artisans, 2 guardians, 2 idealists; 3 introverts, 3 extroverts; 4 sensors, 2 intuitors; 5 feelers, 1 thinker; 3 judgers, 3 perceivers.
 

Arthur Schopenhauer

What is, is.
Joined
May 1, 2010
Messages
1,158
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5
Stupidity, absurd emotion based decision making, overly emotional neediness, needlessly talkative about nonsensical things, opposing ideals, unladylike behavior, cheating, drugs, etc., bad hygiene, a need to change me into something I'm not, a need to make me into something I'm not, a need to use me for something I'm not, excessive emotional coldness, goldiggerish behavior, a dislike of thinking, a dislike of my thoughts, a desire to force me into too much social stuff, can't cook; unwilling to learn/help cook, can't clean; unwilling to learn/help clean, pity loving, self-defeating, argumentative, uncooperative, ignoring of my feelings but expecting to be catered to completely, an undeserving and unrealistic extreme princess mentality, etc.

I probably have more but I'm tired now.
 

FDG

pathwise dependent
Joined
Aug 13, 2007
Messages
5,903
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
7w8
doesn't give blowjobs
 

proximo

New member
Joined
Nov 4, 2009
Messages
584
- "I prefer animals to people - people betray you and let you down, but animals are always loyal."
- More than about two or three signs of casual, habitual selfishness in one day (eg. came in the door with wet shoes, didn't think to wipe feet; made a mess when making coffee and didn't clean it up; left bag in the way of where people walk, etc)
- Just one incidence of messing me about by pretending to want to do something or agree with something "just to be polite" or "so as not to hurt your feelings".
- Hyperchondria and spurious "food allergies"
 

demimondaine

New member
Joined
Mar 26, 2008
Messages
371
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4
Alternatively, the kinder someone is, the less intelligent she can be before I'll want to leave.

has this been true for you? jeez, i guess i should count myself lucky to be kind AND intelligent and to be surrounded by other people who are. i guess some of us have it all. :smile:

jokes aside, do you think they're mutually exclusive? am i missing a joke?
 

Jonny

null
Joined
Sep 8, 2009
Messages
3,134
MBTI Type
FREE
has this been true for you? jeez, i guess i should count myself lucky to be kind AND intelligent and to be surrounded by other people who are. i guess some of us have it all. :smile:

jokes aside, do you think they're mutually exclusive? am i missing a joke?

No, they're not mutually exclusive. However, there are extremes for both, and the probability of being both extremely kind and extremely bright is rather low (especially when one considers that she must be physically attractive as well).
 

tinkerbell

New member
Joined
Aug 31, 2008
Messages
3,487
MBTI Type
ENTP
No, they're not mutually exclusive. However, there are extremes for both, and the probability of being both extremely kind and extremely bright is rather low (especially when one considers that she must be physically attractive as well).


Just from the list of who you have dated, the smart money is on you actually prefer kindness over intellegence (given the F types you've been with)
 

Jonny

null
Joined
Sep 8, 2009
Messages
3,134
MBTI Type
FREE
Just from the list of who you have dated, the smart money is on you actually prefer kindness over intellegence (given the F types you've been with)

I do have a preference for kindness, but the F types were plenty intelligent (just not in the ways that I am). I have been attracted to one or two cold, calculating geniuses though. :newwink:
 

tinkerbell

New member
Joined
Aug 31, 2008
Messages
3,487
MBTI Type
ENTP
I do have a preference for kindness, but the F types were plenty intelligent (just not in the ways that I am). I have been attracted to one or two cold, calculating geniuses though. :newwink:

Fair point, but I guess the T types trade more on it perhaps.... F types tend to be more tollerant/less able to walk away from relationships
 

Tamske

Writing...
Joined
Oct 22, 2009
Messages
1,764
MBTI Type
ENTP
Irrationality (astrology, homeopathy, most theism, etc). Stupidity. Wanting children. Unacceptable difference in interests (not liking science/technology, not liking interesting hypothetical scenarios, liking sports, etc) and/or values (being anti-science/technology, opposition to transhumanism, being against the freedom of sapient beings, etc). A lack of curiosity or intellectualism (in the sense that one likes thinking). A lack of vision or imagination. Bad hygiene. Warning signs (going after guys for their money, etc). A lack of (what I see as) compatibility. Caring too much about social nonsense.

Not sure if that's all of them.
That's a long list... I can agree to most of them. Not wanting children? Okay, that's something both partners should agree on. I can also see too much difference in interest being a problem.
But... liking sports? Aren't you too restrictive there? As long as the woman accepts you don't like it, and doesn't try to force you into it, what's wrong? Or are you such a sports hater that you can't allow somebody living with you liking it?

I'm still trying to fully accept my husband actually likes watching sports and doesn't do that out of boredom and/or lack of better activity. Who wants to do something THAT boring when not forced? I always feel somewhat guilty if he "has" to watch sports instead of being "allowed" to do creative things. Of course, hubby feels the same in the other direction :doh:
 

slowriot

He who laughs
Joined
Dec 1, 2008
Messages
1,314
Enneagram
5w4
I posted this to my blog as an attempt to illustrate that you have to be really conscious of what you lack in your personal traits compared to what you expect in the person you want (ideally I know). I personally think my list illustrates that.


One thing I do find attractive in a girl is something peculiar in them, some inperfection, some trait that makes her stand out physical or mentally.

My list is simple.

Must have nice smile, good vibe between us, average to above average intelligence, average to above average corpus (she needs to have a little meat on her body) and someone that will give me space.

Dealbreakers would be unstable life if having kids (meaning disputes with father over custody and such), drugaddicts, someone that cant compromise and someone that dont respect my decisions.

As long that is met which I think most girls would fit, everything else is pretty much up for grabs.
 

slowriot

He who laughs
Joined
Dec 1, 2008
Messages
1,314
Enneagram
5w4
The whole physical thing really dont matter so I dont put too much focus on their size but as a big guy myself I know the chances of a athletic girl to find me attractive or desirable to be close to zero. So thats why I wrote what I did. Looks do matter but I love quirkiness over model face beauty really.
 

ObeyBunny

New member
Joined
Mar 8, 2010
Messages
573
MBTI Type
INTJ
These are the things that piss me off- though, I’m not male.

I-
  • When talking, not stopping periodically to let me speak.
    -
  • Assuming I’m a party animal, and therefore scheduling me to meet all your individual friends (and their friends, and their coworkers) during the holidays.
    -
  • Assuming that I’m avoiding you because I want to sit outside or in my room by my self for 30 minutes a day.

N-
  • Saying that I have a poor taste in movies because the movies I like don’t have much in the way of special effects.
    -
  • When people have nothing to talk about but sports-GOD!
    -
  • When someone wants me to praise their extremely linier, non-thought provoking story idea.
    -
  • Thinking symbolism is when a movie contains a lot of red colored objects.

T-
  • Arguing a case without presenting evidence.
    -
  • Being angry at someone who offered you advice because you were really just complaining to get sympathy- not help.
    -
  • Crying in public (look, if you start crying and you happen to be in public- run to the bathroom or something. I don’t like seeing breaches in people’s self control).
    -
  • When trying to make a point, going off on meaningless and unending tangents.
    -
  • Complaining that I’m not showing the proper amount of emotion.
    -
  • The logic of “Well, I have drafted up a budget of 100 dollars worth of frivolous-shopping-cash. *Gasp!* this item was $280 and it’s been marked down to $199! Oh, that’s such a steel, I’d have a savings of $81! I’m going to buy it. And sense I saved so much, that means I actually have 181 dollars worth of Me-time-money!”

J-
  • lying to or cheating another person and bragging about it.
    -
  • Backing out of promises or denying that you’ve broken a promise.
    -
  • (To a lesser extent) saying “I’ll get to it” without giving a timetable which would explain by which time it will be done [example: I’ll get to it by Thursday, or I’ll get to it some time tonight].
    -
  • Bearing false witness.
    -
  • When bullying me into saying “yes, I’ll do it” makes them think I meant “yes, I’m fully capable”- and then scolding me when I can’t do it.

---
As a side note, I hate it when people say “Oh my god”-not when indicating shock or referring to god, but as a means of interjecting into the conversation.
 

MiasmaResonance

New member
Joined
Jul 18, 2009
Messages
155
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w?
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Stupidity, absurd emotion based decision making, overly emotional neediness, needlessly talkative about nonsensical things, opposing ideals, unladylike behavior, cheating, drugs, etc., bad hygiene, a need to change me into something I'm not, a need to make me into something I'm not, a need to use me for something I'm not, excessive emotional coldness, goldiggerish behavior, a dislike of thinking, a dislike of my thoughts, a desire to force me into too much social stuff, can't cook; unwilling to learn/help cook, can't clean; unwilling to learn/help clean, pity loving, self-defeating, argumentative, uncooperative, ignoring of my feelings but expecting to be catered to completely, an undeserving and unrealistic extreme princess mentality, etc.

I probably have more but I'm tired now.


Go find a nice submissive INFP.
 
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