[NT] The NT Females' List of Deal Breakers

[Salomé]

That wasn't the organ his comment made me think of, but near enough I suppose...

I didn't want to threaten his masculinity.

 

[teslashock]

MUST HAVE's

Independent
Honest
Open-minded
Confident
Ambitious
Curious



Prefer NOT to deal with if possible

Heavy partyers
Melodramatic and/or overly sensitive
Sports fans
Vegetarianism/veganism
Mentally unstable
Hung up about sex
Clingy
Very religious


I Prefer/Think I would connect better with someone who...

Enjoys games (video games, card games, strategy games, making a competition out of any/everything...)
Enjoys trying new things
Is curious about, interested in, and/or knowledgeable of science
Enjoys music, art, movies, books, plays
Doesn't always have to be doing something active


DEAL BREAKERS

Controlling
Anyone convicted of a violent crime
Junkie
Intolerant of other perspectives/beliefs
Stupid

 

[Tallulah]

I don't think anyone's dodging the question. I think what you might be missing is the implication given by the formality of making a list vs. having an instinctive, unconscious running recalculation in your head of the suitability of potential dates.

When you put a list on paper, it has more power. It's easy to let the list guide your judgment instead of the other way around. I don't think anyone here is saying that they don't have an idea of the kind of person they want. But having a few guidelines that are subject to the vagaries of personal interaction with different kinds of people isn't the same thing at all as making a formal list of "dealbreakers" and "must haves".

That's what my "list" is, though. It's mostly instinctive and intuitive. But putting it in list form doesn't make it as if it were carved in stone and carried down from the mountaintops. I think people are getting too hung up on the "list" thing.

I do agree that dating sites can be screwed-up in that way, where you just put everything in a profile, and judge the other's profile before you even get a chance to interact and know each other as people.

 

[Orpheus]

Do any of you girls actually know any musicians, poets, or creatives? I mean, I'm one and I smoke... we all do. I'd say I'm probably your dream guy, but I guess a dealbreaker is a dealbreaker.

 

[EffEmDoubleyou]

Do any of you girls actually know any musicians, poets, or creatives? I mean, I'm one and I smoke... we all do. I'd say I'm probably your dream guy, but I guess a dealbreaker is a dealbreaker.

Not so much.

 

[Katsuni]

Do any of you girls actually know any musicians, poets, or creatives? I mean, I'm one and I smoke... we all do. I'd say I'm probably your dream guy, but I guess a dealbreaker is a dealbreaker.

Actually... I'm in an art college right now. There's a disproportionate number of smokers, yes, but it's far from "we all do".

If I could figure out how to ... actually I just realized. Youtube. HURP DE DURP. Why didn't I think of that earlier? Well at least this post was useful for SOMETHING XD

*Uploads video of current project she's working on*

Mwa here yeu go.

[YOUTUBE="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MrZRQxxBetg"]BMW Vision - half done model rotation[/YOUTUBE]

I don't smoke, drink, use drugs, or anything XD I figure as an ENTP I'm touched enough in the head as it is that I don't need any help ^.~

 

[Orpheus]

Not so much.

Pedantic.

 

[Tallulah]

Do any of you girls actually know any musicians, poets, or creatives? I mean, I'm one and I smoke... we all do. I'd say I'm probably your dream guy, but I guess a dealbreaker is a dealbreaker.

Yeah. They exist. The guy I went out with last night is a successful, talented guitarist, who is also a non-smoker, vegan. He might have done some recreational drug stuff in the past, but doesn't anymore.

Turns out people are still individuals, and they make individual choices.

 

[strawberries]

i dated a guy who was a playwright and happened to be a smoker...only a nocturnal smoker when he was having a drink though. didn't smoke inside - not into that. he was sexy. [sigh]

 

[EffEmDoubleyou]

How many replies to the contrary are needed before it isn't pedantic anymore?

 

[Orpheus]

6,697,254,041 replies and I'll be convinced. Of course not all artists smoke, but highlighting an obvious exaggeration used for dramatic effect is still pedantic. So, why the hatred for smokers? Does it matter if I also run 6 miles a day? I'm just questioning the rationale used for everyone's deal breakers. Many have stated that certain aspects of their lists will be evaluated in context, but then a list is irrelevant.

 

[Orangey]

So, why the hatred for smokers?

It's that fucking truth.com. Plain and simple.

 

[Tallulah]

6,697,254,041 replies and I'll be convinced. Of course not all artists smoke, but highlighting an obvious exaggeration used for dramatic effect is still pedantic. So, why the hatred for smokers? Does it matter if I also run 6 miles a day? I'm just questioning the rationale used for everyone's deal breakers. Many have stated that certain aspects of their lists will be evaluated in context, but then a list is irrelevant.

Everyone has their own dealbreakers, though, whether you want to see them listed in print on a forum or not. You probably do, too.

So a lot of women wouldn't date you because you smoke. Smoking is a choice. You weren't born a smoker. Why be offended by being ruled out as a partner because of something you are choosing to do?

A lot of people are turned off by smoking because it's unhealthy, because a smoker's breath smells, clothing smells, furniture/living areas smell. It's not hatred. It's personal choice and subjective taste. Just don't date women who are turned off by your smoking. Just because it doesn't make logical, objective sense to you doesn't mean they should make themselves love the smell of smoke. Dating requirements are a purely subjective thing.

 

[strawberries]

smokers are the new lepers.

 

[Orpheus]

My dear Tallulah, I'm not offended. I'm just curious. Besides, I only smoke to support the tobacco farmers. Ever since this whole "health craze" started, they have lost so much. Anyway, as far as health is concerned, I'm in tip top shape.

 

[Tallulah]

My dear Tallulah, I'm not offended. I'm just curious. Besides, I only smoke to support the tobacco farmers. Ever since this whole "health craze" started, they have lost so much. Anyway, as far as health is concerned, I'm in tip top shape.

Saving the economy one ciggie at a time, eh?

 

[Orpheus]

I think lists are dangerous. Any exclusive preconceived notion just closes the mind a little bit more.

 

[Orpheus]

Saving the economy one ciggie at a time, eh?

I'm here for the people.

 

[ragashree]

Do any of you girls actually know any musicians, poets, or creatives? I mean, I'm one and I smoke... we all do. I'd say I'm probably your dream guy, but I guess a dealbreaker is a dealbreaker.

Not this one, I assure you!

 

[EffEmDoubleyou]

Not this one, I assure you!

Don't bother. The threshold for "we all" is shockingly low.