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[INTP] What are Female INTPs like?

Windigo

New member
Joined
Dec 27, 2009
Messages
446
although I am no INTP
however


I am the most oblivious person ever when it comes to figuring out if a guy likes me.

that is. ONLY if I like him . . . .

I'll still be like ".... :huh:...you mean like like? or just like?"

Haha! Must be an NT thing! I am ALWAY trying to qualify the statements.

I don't get the hints very easily. That's why I like a guy to be direct! LOL

I remember a few guys getting all mad at me because I was hanging out and talking to them only to find out they thought we were dating and I had no idea!

OOOPs!:doh:
 

Windigo

New member
Joined
Dec 27, 2009
Messages
446
Aw, don't worry about it. INTP chicks are awesome! I just wish I could find one. The ones I've known have either been- just friends, not dateable for some reason, or they are dateable but something out of my control prevents me from making it a relationship (one for example was moving a few states away after the semester, FML).

Don't worry about it. Someone out there will accept you for who you are and you'll be happy! :D:hug:

You're awesome!:hug:
 
D

Dali

Guest
My closest friend X (female INFP) has a close female INTP friend (Z). Z is a friend of mine too and is very fond of me and always wants to hang out. I like her too but, for some reason, I can never truly relax around her. I'm (usually) NEVER ruffled and I can't quite pinpoint exactly why but... I just can't relax around Z. I'm always fidgeting and looking at the clock and... :doh:

EDIT: I think it's cause of the way I feel like I don't measure up based on whatever internal meter she has and she's just being nice... or tolerating me. Or she pities me. Dammit, I don't know.
 

goodgrief

New member
Joined
Apr 3, 2010
Messages
480
MBTI Type
INTJ
My closest friend X (female INFP) has a close female INTP friend (Z). Z is a friend of mine too and is very fond of me and always wants to hang out. I like her too but, for some reason, I can never truly relax around her. I'm (usually) NEVER ruffled and I can't quite pinpoint exactly why but... I just can't relax around Z. I'm always fidgeting and looking at the clock and... :doh:

EDIT: I think it's cause of the way I feel like I don't measure up based on whatever internal meter she has and she's just being nice... or tolerating me. Or she pities me. Dammit, I don't know.

Maybe she likes you? I am an INTJ but close to INTP and if I act like I really like someone, I almost invariably do. And us INTs judge ourselves as much as others, if not more. I have low self esteem, and so does the INTP I like. We both think the other is a better person, so don't worry about not being up enough on her metre. If she doesn't like you, she'll probably criticize what she disagrees with. Niceness from an INTP is a good thing.
 

hilo

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Mar 8, 2010
Messages
186
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
9 sx
Sooo these posts are kind of worrying me..How old is everyone here?
Because I've been hoping for someone I click with romantically for a while now. I know I'm only 18 but still, not ever having a bf has been concerning. Is it more likely for INTPs to find someone later in life? :/ i hope not


i'm in my mid-20s now.

I think it's very normal for INTPs in general to start late or be a "late bloomer", though I hate that expression. It just takes us a while to figure people out but once you do (and experience is the only way) you'll gain a lot of confidence. Use that Fe! :)

I was 20 when I got my first bf (and had sex), which some might think is late but it was the right time for me.

Also, I find a fair amount of compatible people in academic settings, probably why I never want to leave. ;) But the real world can be a desert for potential mates... just do what you love and you'll find the people that love those things too. That's really the best you can do.
 
L

Lasting_Pain

Guest
i'm in my mid-20s now.

I think it's very normal for INTPs in general to start late or be a "late bloomer", though I hate that expression. It just takes us a while to figure people out but once you do (and experience is the only way) you'll gain a lot of confidence. Use that Fe! :)

I was 20 when I got my first bf (and had sex), which some might think is late but it was the right time for me.

Also, I find a fair amount of compatible people in academic settings, probably why I never want to leave. ;) But the real world can be a desert for potential mates... just do what you love and you'll find the people that love those things too. That's really the best you can do.

I concur, although I am not female I will agree that I think people become drawn to you around the age of 20. I am 19 and I have had more girls give me looks than I had during high, middle, and elementary school combined. (Well moving from 0 to 1 is still considered a difference.)
 
D

Dali

Guest
Maybe she likes you? I am an INTJ but close to INTP and if I act like I really like someone, I almost invariably do. And us INTs judge ourselves as much as others, if not more. I have low self esteem, and so does the INTP I like. We both think the other is a better person, so don't worry about not being up enough on her metre. If she doesn't like you, she'll probably criticize what she disagrees with. Niceness from an INTP is a good thing.

Yeah, it's definitely not that. She's attached (to an IxTJ. As am I; to an INFJ) and we both want very different things out of a r/ship.

I should add; we get along like a house on fire on IM. I make her LOL lots. In person though, I turn into a nervous preteen...
 
F

figsfiggyfigs

Guest
Haha! Must be an NT thing! I am ALWAY trying to qualify the statements.

I don't get the hints very easily. That's why I like a guy to be direct! LOL

I remember a few guys getting all mad at me because I was hanging out and talking to them only to find out they thought we were dating and I had no idea!

OOOPs!:doh:

OMG! that sounds like me!

I remember, my first boyfriend( @ 18, yes, late-bloomer), We were going out and dating for like 2 weeks. and I naively thought we were just hanging out and liked eachother...

until we were at a barbecue with his friends and his friend looked at us and asked " so are you guys like boyfriend-girlfriend". and we both answered at the exact same time

Him: Yes.
Me: No..:huh:

Reaction:
Him :wtf:
Me::doh:


thats how I found out we were dating. hahahahahaah
 

Unique

New member
Joined
Oct 14, 2008
Messages
1,702
i'm in my mid-20s now.

I think it's very normal for INTPs in general to start late or be a "late bloomer", though I hate that expression. It just takes us a while to figure people out but once you do (and experience is the only way) you'll gain a lot of confidence. Use that Fe! :)

I was 20 when I got my first bf (and had sex), which some might think is late but it was the right time for me.

Also, I find a fair amount of compatible people in academic settings, probably why I never want to leave. ;) But the real world can be a desert for potential mates... just do what you love and you'll find the people that love those things too. That's really the best you can do.

Lol so true

Took me ages to work people out

Now I mimic their behavior to fit in perfectly, works a charm

To me it still makes no sense to act the way most people do, but at least I won't get punched in the face... or worse
 
Joined
Jul 7, 2009
Messages
55
MBTI Type
INTP
My 'wife' is INTP. I find this to be quite suitable, and have reason to believe she feels likewise. The general consensus from spectators is that we are suffering through a cold and distant relationship. I won't argue the cold and distant aspect, but ironic as it sounds, I think it's the glue that binds us. She's the only woman I've ever known who doesn't believe she has an inalienable right to continually challenge my emotions. I cherish our ability to delve into a wildly ambitious conversation after not speaking to each other for three days, for no particular reason. I love not needing a reason, and love not having to take on the task of demanding one from her to defend my own lack of reasons. Her problem-solving approach is the same as mine...we both need time and space to muse in private. She's the one person I can count on to not punish me for my silence or force a game of 'beat the clock' upon my responses. After nearly fifteen years I still feel an almost giddy anticipation when I sense she's working herself up to tell me something. It's like those final few moments before you step into the roller coaster after waiting in line for so long.

Admittedly, I have no idea if these things are INTP-related, that's just my personal impression of it. Hell, I wouldn't even be here if my wife hadn't brought up the subject of Typology.
 

Kaizer

sophiloist
Joined
Aug 20, 2008
Messages
795
MBTI Type
INTp
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Sooo these posts are kind of worrying me..How old is everyone here?
Because I've been hoping for someone I click with romantically for a while now. I know I'm only 18 but still, not ever having a bf has been concerning. Is it more likely for INTPs to find someone later in life? :/ i hope not

I think that this awareness is key and is likely to be the cause of the key difference playing its role while everything else will, at least, more or less or seem to almost/kind of proceed in the same seemingly pre-determined-ish manner. Its a/the critical difference though, one that you should be glad you're cognizant of and therefore more at peace in general and not concerned about what it has perhaps shown you or made less hazy for you.
 

Redbone

Orisha
Joined
Apr 27, 2010
Messages
2,882
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
My 'wife' is INTP. I find this to be quite suitable, and have reason to believe she feels likewise. The general consensus from spectators is that we are suffering through a cold and distant relationship. I won't argue the cold and distant aspect, but ironic as it sounds, I think it's the glue that binds us. She's the only woman I've ever known who doesn't believe she has an inalienable right to continually challenge my emotions. I cherish our ability to delve into a wildly ambitious conversation after not speaking to each other for three days, for no particular reason. I love not needing a reason, and love not having to take on the task of demanding one from her to defend my own lack of reasons. Her problem-solving approach is the same as mine...we both need time and space to muse in private. She's the one person I can count on to not punish me for my silence or force a game of 'beat the clock' upon my responses. After nearly fifteen years I still feel an almost giddy anticipation when I sense she's working herself up to tell me something. It's like those final few moments before you step into the roller coaster after waiting in line for so long.

Admittedly, I have no idea if these things are INTP-related, that's just my personal impression of it. Hell, I wouldn't even be here if my wife hadn't brought up the subject of Typology.

Seething with pure envy here. My partner is ESFJ...

...He called me the 'anti-female'.
 

Windigo

New member
Joined
Dec 27, 2009
Messages
446
OMG! that sounds like me!

I remember, my first boyfriend( @ 18, yes, late-bloomer), We were going out and dating for like 2 weeks. and I naively thought we were just hanging out and liked eachother...

until we were at a barbecue with his friends and his friend looked at us and asked " so are you guys like boyfriend-girlfriend". and we both answered at the exact same time

Him: Yes.
Me: No..:huh:

Reaction:
Him :wtf:
Me::doh:


thats how I found out we were dating. hahahahahaah

Haha! I did this to my first husband!!!! I didn't get it until he finally marched up to me and said, "God damn it! Don't you realize I LOVE you?!" Then he bent me over backwards and kissed me passionately in front of all my friends . . . let's just say it became official for me at that moment!:wubbie:
 

Ulaes

loopy
Joined
Jan 11, 2009
Messages
850
MBTI Type
crak
Enneagram
sax
My 'wife' is INTP. I find this to be quite suitable, and have reason to believe she feels likewise. The general consensus from spectators is that we are suffering through a cold and distant relationship. I won't argue the cold and distant aspect, but ironic as it sounds, I think it's the glue that binds us. She's the only woman I've ever known who doesn't believe she has an inalienable right to continually challenge my emotions. I cherish our ability to delve into a wildly ambitious conversation after not speaking to each other for three days, for no particular reason. I love not needing a reason, and love not having to take on the task of demanding one from her to defend my own lack of reasons. Her problem-solving approach is the same as mine...we both need time and space to muse in private. She's the one person I can count on to not punish me for my silence or force a game of 'beat the clock' upon my responses. After nearly fifteen years I still feel an almost giddy anticipation when I sense she's working herself up to tell me something. It's like those final few moments before you step into the roller coaster after waiting in line for so long.

Admittedly, I have no idea if these things are INTP-related, that's just my personal impression of it. Hell, I wouldn't even be here if my wife hadn't brought up the subject of Typology.

that sounds beautiful
 

Salomé

meh
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Sep 25, 2008
Messages
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sx/sp
^I don't know about the not talking for 3 days... That's weird, even for an INTP.
Seething with pure envy here. My partner is ESFJ...
How does that even happen?
...He called me the 'anti-female'.

Heh. That's such an ESFJ insult.
 

Orangey

Blah
Joined
Jun 26, 2008
Messages
6,354
MBTI Type
ESTP
Enneagram
6w5
I am typically not very femme in appearance. It's more of a gender neutral look. Blouse and jeans sort of thing, mostly.

I've been in situations in which I did not realize I was actively "dating" someone. I usually reacted to the realization by never speaking to the interested party again. Or I slept with them and then never called. One or the other.

I've of course been asked if I was gay because of my lack of interest in dating (though that's not too far off as I have pretty much always been attracted to women as well as men...I identify as bisexual these days.) I just don't understand why it's so imperative that I be in a relationship all of the time. It seems like an extraneous activity that, if it happens, it's cool, but if not, why the hell should I care? The fervor with which many people seek relationships for the sake of relationships is absolutely absurd to me.

As far as my demeanor as an INTP woman, I probably come across as aloof and bitchy. I like to criticize everything, I am known for being blunt, and I am (probably most of all) detached and "don't give a shit about anything." I've never met another INTP female, but I imagine that they'd share similar traits.

Also, like Tallulah mentioned earlier in the thread, I do have this weird urge to perform. I wouldn't actually do anything performative in real life (unless I was severely drunk, high, or otherwise out of my ordinary mind), but I do fantasize about that sort of thing a lot. I like positive attention when I do actually get it, but I never actively go out of my way to garner that kind of thing. Probably has something to do with inferior Fe.
 
Joined
Jul 7, 2009
Messages
55
MBTI Type
INTP
^I don't know about the not talking for 3 days... That's weird, even for an INTP.

It sounds weirder than it is...she works graveyard shift, insists on it. It's one of her quirks, but it's a good quirk. If she wasn't available in the afternoons to pick the kids up from school, we'd be forced to pay a daycare large sums of money so they'd have a safe place to rot until we got off work.

And like I said...As far as social interaction is concerned, I'll take quality over quantity any day of the week.
 

Salomé

meh
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Sep 25, 2008
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5w4
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sx/sp
I am typically not very femme in appearance. It's more of a gender neutral look. Blouse and jeans sort of thing, mostly.

I've been in situations in which I did not realize I was actively "dating" someone. I usually reacted to the realization by never speaking to the interested party again. Or I slept with them and then never called. One or the other.

I've of course been asked if I was gay because of my lack of interest in dating (though that's not too far off as I have pretty much always been attracted to women as well as men...I identify as bisexual these days.)
Fluid gender/sexuality seems to be an INTP-typical trait.
I just don't understand why it's so imperative that I be in a relationship all of the time. It seems like an extraneous activity that, if it happens, it's cool, but if not, why the hell should I care? The fervor with which many people seek relationships for the sake of relationships is absolutely absurd to me.
Monogamous relationships were invented by Fs/women for Fs/women. It's quite remarkable that they so saturate human culture, considering the usually lower status of Fs/women. I don't think we'd have marriage, for example, in a world of NTs. Maybe I'm wrong.
As far as my demeanor as an INTP woman, I probably come across as aloof and bitchy. I like to criticize everything, I am known for being blunt, and I am (probably most of all) detached and "don't give a shit about anything." I've never met another INTP female, but I imagine that they'd share similar traits.
Maybe IRL. I don't think you ever come across as bitchy online, though quite a lot of INTP women do.
Also, like Tallulah mentioned earlier in the thread, I do have this weird urge to perform. I wouldn't actually do anything performative in real life (unless I was severely drunk, high, or otherwise out of my ordinary mind), but I do fantasize about that sort of thing a lot. I like positive attention when I do actually get it, but I never actively go out of my way to garner that kind of thing. Probably has something to do with inferior Fe.
I used to enjoy amateur dramatics. There is something about inhabiting an alien mindset and performing it convincingly that is both intellectually stimulating and liberating.
 

InsatiableCuriosity

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Joined
May 20, 2010
Messages
698
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5
interesting thread - nice to meet some fellow female INTPs :newwink: My closest "mind mates" are usually NT males!

I am reserved, sometimes aloof, think and feel deeply (so don't assume that we have no feelings - we just don't put them on display), need at least 2hrs alone time per day (usually late at night so I am not interrupted by anyone) to reflect and think and pursue mind connections in whatever way my interest is piqued at the time, value my mind mates as much as (if not more than) soul mates but would be terrified to sully the mind mate relationships with physical relationships.

I have never wanted to be anyone other than who I am and have never felt the need to conform and "follow trends".

I seem to be valued for my ethics, fairness, problem solving skills, initiative and innovation.
 
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