[ENTP] Romantically Clueless ENTPs? lol wut?

[Kasper]

Eh, don't get it at all.

 

[CzeCze]

Eh, don't get it at all.

You mean the OP?

I mean WE THINK WE KNOW ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING ABOUT EVERYTHING.

Fixed!

Especially the young ones.

It's probably a much bigger surprise for you - than for people who know you and see you in action every day - that you feel romantically clueless.

You're probably so used to feeling *cough cough* over *cough cough* confident about other realms of your life and bluffing or coasting through a lot of stuff that it makes you pause when you suddenly feel at a loss.

this seems to be a common problem for plenty of other NTs, but it seems that people get the idea that ENTPs are someone exempt from this catagory due to they're general uhm... entpness?

Ummm....no. Who thinks you'd be exempt from this?

Personally, after seeing a few young ENTP males in action, no I'm not surprised you feel 'romantically clueless'. Not at all.

Wait, are you are a guy?

It seems being clueless isn't somthing that deters entps... but what about when it is?

Umm...

Did I lose anyone?[/QUOTE]?

Yes?

LOL.

Why don't you explain more what you are talking about, like a specific example of when you were interested in someone or thought you were supposed be doing something romantic but had no clue what it was you were supposed to be doing.

 

[Kasper]

You mean the OP?

Naw, romance *is clueless*

 

[Nescio]

Why don't you explain more what you are talking about, like a specific example of when you were interested in someone or thought you were supposed be doing something romantic but had no clue what it was you were supposed to be doing.

the opening was meant as a joke...

As for the whole bit about cluelessness its more of a I can never really know how others feel towards me. As a result, of a few(two) bad experiences (overestimations) I tend to be extremely careful. which also has downs to it.

When it comes to people I like romantically, I question my ability to make these sorts of judgements even more (because everyone's head gets a little loopy). So I do nothing until I'm absolutely sure... by which time I lose opportunity.

And of course, I would absolutely hate for things to go sour... in any relationship really...

It's probably a much bigger surprise for you - than for people who know you and see you in action every day - that you feel romantically clueless.

you're probably right. Most of my friends that I've explained this insecurity to seem pretty suprised initially (they say they doubt the possibility since its not consistent with my general attitutes and such), but at some level I know they at least suspect it...

by the way, no I'm not a guy. I wish... I've had 4 people (friendly enough to admit it) admit they would date me if I was male. I also hate girl world.

I feel like I've said too much
Now I will be forced to

 

[thisGuy]

remember when the person you like can't tell you like them because you talk to almost everyone that same way (in public)?

its a different side of the same coin.


its cuz we talk (flirt) with frikkin EVERYBODY. usually we confuse people about our motivations towards them. then they see us talk to other people that way too. so they just move us (categorically) from a 'romantic' to a 'shameless flirt'.
i think we do the exact same thing in our heads too. we treat people the same way unless there is a very special intuitive connection...

 

[Shimmy]

I'm not romantically clueless! I'm very romantic.

 

[theadoor]

I'm getting better at this, but yeah, sometimes I still can't see a border between responding-making fun and flirting, and I still get those awkward situations, when a guy has a crush on me because he simply thinks I like him too. And then there's a big misunderstanding and awkwardness, when he makes a move and I'm like 'wtf buddy?!'. I guess it's very hard to read my real intentions and many guys get confused by that quite often, but as I said I tend to get better at this

 

[Johnfloyd6675]

ENTP has no reputation, so far as I've heard or read, for romantic cluelessness. That's cool. Everyone I know whom I think would come back ENTP does just fine; the problem, to get all Jungian, is that the Ne is like this big sword that's really cool and you can slay dragons with it but you should not brandish it at the dinner table. The hard part of romance, for me anyway, and I assume the other ENTPs, is going over to the other side and Sensing (and, to some extent, Feeling, but mostly Sensing) my way through a movie at her house when I want to go home. Es muy dificil senor. Verdad.

 

[Cypocalypse]

An ENTPs romantic skills is basically on the same level with his social skills. That is, considerably good compared to the archetypes that suck in that department (INTP, INTJ, etc.), but not good enough compared to the types that are good at it (ESFJ, ESFP), etc.

In my personal experience, the best teacher for an ENTP with regard to that aspect is an ENFJ, which is a type that has perfected the geekiness/sociability fusion. An ENTP is more like a second rate ENFJ when it comes to that in my opinion.

Compared to other NTs though....(based on people that I know)

INTJ - will never acknowledge his incompetence with regard to the subject matter.

ENTJ - thinks that he has an actual competence, but uses the same "look-at-me-and-my-achievements" strategy.

INTP - just effin' intellectualizes everything.

_________________

Interesting case with an INTP person I know of. He made a move on my ENFJ friend, after he found out that my friend is a bit of a comic book geek. and then he started talking to her about the components of Adamantium. Got me laughing so hard. LOL!

Well, you get to find out that you have that certain commonality with a certain girl, it will give you an impression that she will understand you or whatnot, accept you even. But Christ, it doesn't necessarily mean that your topic of conversation would have to revolve around the intellectual aspect of your line of interest. Sheesh!

Being smart can be a turn on for a lot of people, it doesn't mean one has to brag about it.

On the other hand, when an ENTP gets to find out that the geeky girl likes a certain comic book character, he'll probably give her an action figure of it. Major difference right there.

 

[CzeCze]

the opening was meant as a joke...

As for the whole bit about cluelessness its more of a I can never really know how others feel towards me. As a result, of a few(two) bad experiences (overestimations) I tend to be extremely careful. which also has downs to it.

When it comes to people I like romantically, I question my ability to make these sorts of judgements even more (because everyone's head gets a little loopy). So I do nothing until I'm absolutely sure... by which time I lose opportunity.

And of course, I would absolutely hate for things to go sour... in any relationship really...

I wonder how common that is for your type? It sounds like it might be a combo of being "NP" and also just a question of experience. The whole 'taking forever to decide' is a valid issue but I think experience goes a long way. I think recognizing this is an issue and wanting to resolve it is already taking a big step (no really, you can check the forum to see many examples who don't care of even take pride in taking forever to decide or flip-flopping back and forth when it comes to relationships)

you're probably right. Most of my friends that I've explained this insecurity to seem pretty suprised initially (they say they doubt the possibility since its not consistent with my general attitutes and such), but at some level I know they at least suspect it...

In general ENTPs SEEM very confident, but from speaking with friends and observation, there's always insecurities and achille's heels.

by the way, no I'm not a guy. I wish... I've had 4 people (friendly enough to admit it) admit they would date me if I was male. I also hate girl world.

I feel like I've said too much
Now I will be forced to

Hahaha! Sorry, I dodged a bullet by not assuming you were a dude...it's so hard to tell with ENTPs online!

I think that explains more.

I think ENTP males, particularly early 20s and younger, are more likely to be cocky in general and over-estimate their popularity or 'skill' with the ladies specifically. Which isn't the same as the 'romantic skills' I think you were referring to but they overlap.

For an ENTP female, I'm guessing some of your feelings of cluelessness come because you have different expectations put on you regarding "romance" or dating because of your gender?

As for feeling like you can't correctly gauge people's interest in you, that might just be hyperactive Ne and your other latent cognitive functions catching up.

Too much Ne with no weak and unreliable filters (Ti, Fi, learned experience, learning body language, social sense, etc.) can be a vacuum suck of your environment. And I can very easily see how Ne doms, particularly when young, can be be oblivious to other people's signals and reactions to them. Particularly as a thinker if you aren't naturally inclined to care as much.

BTW...what's your age range? I kinda assumed from your OP you were college aged so I was tailoring my response to you based on that...

I think though having had a few bad experiences is a blessing in disguise. Learning through experience is a pretty good model. If you recognize in retrospect what went wrong, you can be more mindful of it in the future. And particularly if you ask friends who observed what happened for their opinions.

Luckily you got that tert Fe which will help you smooth the way in social situations and probably help you out with your feelings of cluelessness.

Also, are you sure you are truly regretful about those past situations because you really like the person? Or because you 'missed out' on something? I think also an 'NP' trait is feeling bad about 'missed opportunities' just because it is a missed opportunity. The past is just so...final.