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[INTP] INTP Women

Ulaes

loopy
Joined
Jan 11, 2009
Messages
850
MBTI Type
crak
Enneagram
sax
Being an INTP female is like going against the grain of what society (well, at least my parents), wanted me to be. I can't even count the times my dad asked me, "why can't you be a normal girl?" My mother, to this day, still sends me what she considers to be fashionable clothes, make-up, jewelry and other miscellaneous things she believes I don't have, but should use.

oh yeah, me too. godamn J parents. ENTJ father ISFJ mother.
ENTJ wanted me to dress more like a girl, so I gave him the run down of how "feminine" clothing is objectifyng and how such gender expectations are irrational and sickening. I haven't heard anything about it since.
ISFJ is impervious to logic, unfortunatley. It's like oil and water. i've always felt she's tried to disencourage any strength and indepence i have because she wants me to be wimpy like her.

What things did you have to overcome in order for people to accept who you are?
if you're confident enough you can get away with a lot, i think.
although honestly, I'm not too sure what you mean here. Are you asking me what i had to do to appear more normal? like nuder my N and I? I did that in highschool but now i'm free of that place and am becoming more like my natural self. Are you asking what forces try to oppress my INTP manner? ESJs.

And non-INTPs... how do you feel when you first meet, then get to know us PINT girls?

i think we tend to be bad with first impressions. I imagine we hurt peoples feelings in subtle ways that we're not aware of.

(P.S. I apologize for any angst in this post... I'm just a tiny bit frustrated with people right now.)
it happens. as you can see there's plenty of other INTP females here for you to talk to.

many of my guy friends are NFs... I seem to collect them....
me too. it's so easy, like fluff and velcro (they're the fluff, obviously). makes me feel like a kid in a candy store sometimes.

So, I'm an ENTJ male and according to personality page info would be most compatibly matched with an INTP female. I think this could be true. Since you all here are (largely) INTP women, what do you think of this? Is this combination valid? Have you experienced it? How does it go?

i can't see myself dating an ENTJ. they can drive me up the wall sometimes. What i figure from the ones i've known:-

The good stuff: The conversations; the shared love for knowledge, intellect, independant thought and competence; the similar twisted sense of humour; the appreciation for a need for autonomy and space; no drama because everything is sorted out rationally (they have debates rather than arguments); they can stand up to each other; no diplomacy or eggshell walking is required; a relationship that is playful, humours and intellectual; etc.

The bad stuff: power struggle (unstoppable force vs unmoveable object, type of thing). that being said, neither of us can argue with the other if they've got the superior logic.; little chemistry; the relationship is more like a business partnership; emotional problems in the relationship are never brought to the surface to be cured; massive competitiveness can overshadow the relationship; ENTJs guys (at least the ones i know) seem to want a giggle, flirty, fawning, flattering little thing that will hang off their arm and make them feel competent. obviously, INTPs will do the opposite (basically kick them in the balls); always critising the other's M.O.; misunderstanding; etc.

A frustrating pair, imo. The only EJs i can stand relationally are ENFJs. But, to each his/her own, of course. I think there are a few INTPs and ENTJs on the forum that like the pairing.
 
Last edited:

sharonrenee80

New member
Joined
Jul 9, 2009
Messages
9
MBTI Type
INTP
I agree with a lot of these posts. INTP women are more balanced than INTP men b/c we're challenged by societal expectations from an early age. I'd say the ideal American women (I live here in America) is an ESTF or an ENTF. We're SO different, and society doesn't mind telling us we should be different.

As far as the INTP-ENTJ pairing, I like it. I respect ENTJs a lot, which is pretty impt for me. I also think the chemistry (euphemism for sex) is good. I pretty much need someone I can throw down with, intellectually or physically, w/out worrying about hurting them, and the ENTJ is such a cocky ass that you never have to worry about it! Also, ENTJs control a lot of people, but INTPs are pretty dang hard to control. For the INTP women that don't like the INTP-ENTJ match, is there a better MB type that has worked for you? What do you think is another good pairing? I'd love to figure out who to date besides ENTJs!

My biggest complaint w/ my type is that I will know I'm procrastinating or getting perfectionistic about something that I just need to finish up, but I can't stop it while it's happening!!! Any INTPs have any tricks for how to get themselves out of a work-rut? I'm asking b/c not procrastinating at work is a constant challenge!
 

Ulaes

loopy
Joined
Jan 11, 2009
Messages
850
MBTI Type
crak
Enneagram
sax
I agree with a lot of these posts. INTP women are more balanced than INTP men b/c we're challenged by societal expectations from an early age. I'd say the ideal American women (I live here in America) is an ESTF or an ENTF.
i think it's more ESF > ISF > EST > IST > ENF > INF > ENT > INT, although the important of F over E is debatable
for society in general, ES > IS/EN > IN
 

metasapiens

New member
Joined
Jul 17, 2010
Messages
70
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N>JI
I think women are over-all oriented toward XSFJ in order to want and raise babies. We galvanize your old mammalian side to ensure you will love children and think childishly (better communication), with just enough intelligence to not kill your progeny. J also helps cleaning the house, changing diapers and being slavish. Most elementary school teachers are ESFJ.
 

Totenkindly

@.~*virinaĉo*~.@
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
50,187
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BELF
Enneagram
594
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I agree with a lot of these posts. INTP women are more balanced than INTP men b/c we're challenged by societal expectations from an early age. I'd say the ideal American women (I live here in America) is an ESTF or an ENTF. We're SO different, and society doesn't mind telling us we should be different.

What's an ExTF?

I would say the American ideal is still an SFJ, although I think it is also slowly changing. (The entire culture has been shifting from SJ to SP.)
 

Totenkindly

@.~*virinaĉo*~.@
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
50,187
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BELF
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594
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sx/sp
I agree with a lot of these posts. INTP women are more balanced than INTP men b/c we're challenged by societal expectations from an early age. I'd say the ideal American women (I live here in America) is an ESTF or an ENTF. We're SO different, and society doesn't mind telling us we should be different.

What's an ExTF?

I would say the American female ideal is still SFJ, although I think it has also slowly been changing. (The entire culture has been shifting from SJ to SP.) I think that can only be a boon to NT women, since an SP mentality is far more flexible with gender and relational roles.
 

highlander

Administrator
Staff member
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Dec 23, 2009
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26,562
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\
I would say the American female ideal is still SFJ, although I think it has also slowly been changing. (The entire culture has been shifting from SJ to SP.) I think that can only be a boon to NT women, since an SP mentality is far more flexible with gender and relational roles.

It's interesting you say this about the US culture shifting to SP because I've wondered about the same thing. I've seen it at work for example - in terms of people in positions of influence being SP. Do you have any evidence or further info on this?
 

Totenkindly

@.~*virinaĉo*~.@
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It's interesting you say this about the US culture shifting to SP because I've wondered about the same thing. I've seen it at work for example - in terms of people in positions of influence being SP. Do you have any evidence or further info on this?

What sort of evidence are you looking for?

I'm going mainly by the large shift in social policies, as well as the large influx of diversity beginning back in the 70's when Eastern cultural elements (along with Asian investors) really began to hit US shores and make a notable impact on the culture. There's also been a lot of immigration from various cultures so that minority populations are growing tremendously, bringing their cultural beliefs and approaches with them.

Also, you can examine the sort of changes in American music, clothing, decor/home, and whatever else that have been going on for a few decades, and the diversity of cable network channels and what sorts of shows are popular. N's still a minority, but you're really seeing a big increase in SFP style thinking -- textured experience, immersion in the moment, exploration, acceptance of diversity, not planning ahead but going day to day and being flexible, relaxed clothing styles / informality.

Compare that to the modernist structured regimented SJ culture of the 50's. That clash of the remnants of that culture with today's P-drifting culture is one of the reasons the old school complains about the "loss of moral/traditional values."

That's basically where I'm coming from here -- large obvious prolonged cultural trends.
 

metasapiens

New member
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Jul 17, 2010
Messages
70
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N>JI
Alas, S is strongly correlated with extraverted judgment. In such a stressful environment, probabilities are against SFPs.
 

alovestorm

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Oct 26, 2010
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6
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INTP
I only wear dresses with pockets.. lol.

But Yes, I own several dresses but I only wear them for an occasion, never just because I felt like it on a sunny day.
 

highlander

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What sort of evidence are you looking for?

I'm going mainly by the large shift in social policies, as well as the large influx of diversity beginning back in the 70's when Eastern cultural elements (along with Asian investors) really began to hit US shores and make a notable impact on the culture. There's also been a lot of immigration from various cultures so that minority populations are growing tremendously, bringing their cultural beliefs and approaches with them.

Also, you can examine the sort of changes in American music, clothing, decor/home, and whatever else that have been going on for a few decades, and the diversity of cable network channels and what sorts of shows are popular. N's still a minority, but you're really seeing a big increase in SFP style thinking -- textured experience, immersion in the moment, exploration, acceptance of diversity, not planning ahead but going day to day and being flexible, relaxed clothing styles / informality.

Compare that to the modernist structured regimented SJ culture of the 50's. That clash of the remnants of that culture with today's P-drifting culture is one of the reasons the old school complains about the "loss of moral/traditional values."

That's basically where I'm coming from here -- large obvious prolonged cultural trends.

Hmmm. That makes a lot of sense sense. Not sure what kind of evidence I'm looking for but your examples are great. Is there anything documented that links the shifts to type? Some sort of study? I guess that's what I'm wondering about.

Some time ago, I saw statistics from a large consulting firm - 45% of the senior executives at this firm were SPs. It completely shocked me because my perception of the ranks of exeuctives in large companies are dominated by TJ and presumably those TJs would prefer relating with other TJs (?) as their consultants. Clinton NFP, Regan SP, Bush SP - all Ps... Jimmy was some sort of J and he didn't do very well.

I'm quite interested in the implications of this.What will happen?
 

hilo

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Mar 8, 2010
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9 sx
I only wear dresses with pockets.. lol.

But Yes, I own several dresses but I only wear them for an occasion, never just because I felt like it on a sunny day.

damn straight. A dress with pockets makes me stupid excited. Romance! Adventure! Practicality!
 

Mr. Sherlock Holmes

Consulting Detective
Joined
Aug 10, 2010
Messages
1,450
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5W4
I want to meet an INTP woman. But they're invisible. I'll be at Uni next year though, so maybe.
 

KilgoreTrout

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Jul 28, 2010
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sx/sp
Do INTP girls like wearing dresses? The ones I know refuse to.

I wear dresses all of the time, but only so people think I have a clue how to be a "girl." That and it reduces the time it takes to get dressed by approximately 45 seconds each morning. One item, done. :D
 

metasapiens

New member
Joined
Jul 17, 2010
Messages
70
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N>JI
I want to meet an INTP woman. But they're invisible.

not exactly invisible

image.jpg



One item, done. :D
 

Totenkindly

@.~*virinaĉo*~.@
Joined
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I wear dresses all of the time, but only so people think I have a clue how to be a "girl." That and it reduces the time it takes to get dressed by approximately 45 seconds each morning. One item, done. :D

Dresses are good for that much... except then you do have to make sure the shoes match. :doh:

(Converse high-tops usually don't cut it... depending on the dress.)

I think the main thing is, I wear whatever I want to wear. If I want to wear a dress, I wear a dress. If I want to wear raggedy jeans and beat-up sandals, I wear raggedly jeans and beat-up sandals. I do what I feel like doing and what makes sense to me.

hilo said:
damn straight. A dress with pockets makes me stupid excited. Romance! Adventure! Practicality!

Pockets. Heh.

(And utility belts!)
 

catalyst

New member
Joined
Nov 3, 2010
Messages
15
MBTI Type
INTP
Alright. So, there's not much of us out there, I think about 1% of the population from what I last read.

Being an INTP female is like going against the grain of what society (well, at least my parents), wanted me to be. I can't even count the times my dad asked me, "why can't you be a normal girl?" My mother, to this day, still sends me what she considers to be fashionable clothes, make-up, jewelry and other miscellaneous things she believes I don't have, but should use. I find it somewhat hard to relate to other females, and most of my friends tend to be guys.

The above paragraph pretty much sums up how my mom is with me.....exactly how my mom is with me! I'm a fashion charity case. I LIKE t shirts and jeans.....I like no make up and not doing my hair......efficiency rules!

The fact of the matter is I prefer books over shopping. I like my computer more than I like going out sometimes. I don't really care WHAT I wear as long as I'm covered up and comfortable. I have a bad habit of tripping/running into things. I'm not emotional because I don't understand why some girls get so emotional over things. I'm just not what people expect to see in a girl my age. Don't get me wrong though, I love being INTP, and I don't mind being a girl. It's just strange sometimes, when people try and change who I am to fit social norms.

While not emotional, I do seem to have a sensitive ego, and take things very personally. i think the main 'emotion' I have is frustration.....I tend to use emotions to accomplish things socially, but am not sure that I genuinely 'feel' them in the traditional sense of the word. Or the way I process them is upside down, inside out and backwards compared to the rest of the population. I dunno. I certainly can relate to pressure to be different than I am. It feels constant and really wears on one when you are already self-critical and socially awkward/neurotic. My lack of emotion, I feel, really lets other's down and hurts their feelings - yet I can't 'fake' it. I just can't. That is more in close relationships - smoothing the rough edges as much as is INTPishly possible for social graces is entirely different.

So, other INTP females... how does it feel to be you? What things did you have to overcome in order for people to accept who you are? And non-INTPs... how do you feel when you first meet, then get to know us PINT girls?

I don't think many people really do accept who I am. People know 'of' me. I'm the weird one, the mascot. The one who doesn't dress attractively, and who dares to say things. Wicked sense of humor - but keep a lid on the really outrageous things that go through my brain....Some try to 'help' me, others try to change me, but the older I get the more I am realizing that I'm just the way I am - and am comfortable with it deep down in the dirt of my soul.

(P.S. I apologize for any angst in this post... I'm just a tiny bit frustrated with people right now.)

I have also learned to appreciate angst - and accept it as a part of my daily life. No apologies necessary.
 
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