[MBTI General] INTP and INFP friendships

[Mipp]

I have made friends with an INFP male over the past couple of months. It's an interesting friendship for me because most of my relationships are based on mutual intellectual interests, which is not to say this INFP isn't intelligent, but this relationship has clearly developed based on him being emotionally attracted to me. This is rather new to me, at least with a fellow introvert.

It was obvious from our first meeting that he really enjoyed my company. He would stand there giving me puppy dog eyes and gradually ease closer to me, as though he just wanted to be physically near me. After we'd know each other for a bit and I had discovered how kind and gentle he was, I decided his friendship was very much worth cultivating, and told him that it was okay for him to come near me and to touch me. Immediately, relief flooded him and he began hugging me and kissing me on the top of the head. I find it interesting that his feelings toward me are so protective and innocent (I'm rather good at figuring out when men are friendly and when they just want my body). People who approach me for friendship or relationships usually do so because they're interested in my mind or we share hobbies, so I find it unusual but a little heartwarming that he clearly adores me personally.

At the same time, we often have rather odd little discussions. One of our first talks involved him telling me how he felt 'bunny-ish', which perplexed me as I've never felt anything other than Mipp-ish. I asked him if he was a member of that Otherkin subculture I'd heard about on the internet, and he responded with confusion. He's not any sort of Otherkin, he just feels 'like a bunny rabbit' sometimes. While not rational, it seems harmless enough. He also rarely bugs me with small talk. It's pleasant to be around someone and not have to listen to idle chattering about inane topics.

Overall, I'm very satisfied with my INFP friend. I'm not sure I'd want two dozen INFPs just like him, but I think that this relationship will be good for both of us. How are the other INTP/INFP friendships/relationships going? What are the oddest things your INFP companion has said or done? (I think my friend's other unusual moment was wearing a chicken hat to a heavy metal club with me. No, I don't know why it wasn't a bunny hat.)

 

[goodgrief]

I think he is in love with you.

 

[OrangeAppled]

Is this you guys together?

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My friendships with INTPs have always been based on an intellectual connection. I'm not a huggy person either, and I used to even hate hugging. I like to hug someone now, but it has to be genuine (most of the time it feels obligatory).

It doesn't seem the case here, but I wouldn't mistake general "niceness" from an INFP to mean they enjoy someone. That's one of two common social masks, the other being aloof.

 

[heart]

At the same time, we often have rather odd little discussions. One of our first talks involved him telling me how he felt 'bunny-ish', which perplexed me as I've never felt anything other than Mipp-ish. I asked him if he was a member of that Otherkin subculture I'd heard about on the internet, and he responded with confusion. He's not any sort of Otherkin, he just feels 'like a bunny rabbit' sometimes. While not rational, it seems harmless enough.

LOL, sounds like INFP flirting to me. I think he likes you and would like to be your little funny bunny.

I only say stuff like this to my husband. Maybe something about having Si in the child position or something, not sure.

I also am not "touchy-feely" with my friends much less kissing them on top of the head. He's put out his little feelers with all this mushy stuff. it feels safer that way. jmo here of course.

 

[INTPness]

INFP's and INTP's make a unique pairing. Let's face it, INTP's tend to be a little quirky too. Maybe not in the "I hop around my apartment on all fours and leave little droppings all over the carpet" sense, but we can seem pretty eccentric to a large chunk of the overall population.

What I'm getting at is that maybe he sees you as strange and unique just like you see him that way. That's what I've found nice about the INFP friendships I've had. We can both be ourselves and it's usually pretty hilarious and a good time.

 

[Totenkindly]

What I'm getting at is that maybe he sees you as strange and unique just like you see him that way. That's what I've found nice about the INFP friendships I've had. We can both be ourselves and it's usually pretty hilarious and a good time.

That. We get each other and can laugh at / enjoy the differences. Usually we connect via Ne-style thinking, and it's very fun and very positive. There's a lot of laughter involved. I am usually a haven who can take any of the "dark/less gentle" thoughts in stride and even in humor (no idea is off-limits in my presence!), and I appreciate having someone who can let me explore some of my stronger but still ambiguous feelings openly without me having to understand them right away.

 

[OrangeAppled]

We can both be ourselves and it's usually pretty hilarious and a good time.

This is a huge bonus

 

[INTP]

I think he is in love with you.

this.

 

[JocktheMotie]

The OP made me feel very uncomfortable. I'd freak out when the touching and kissing started.

 

[Spamtar]

Sounds more pleasant than my bunny experiences

First off you are lucky to have the advantage of knowing the person is a INFP and you are an INTP from the get go and having a general idea that you two think/feel things differently to assist in your toleration/appreciation of him. Many women, particularly T doms, would just be confused.

The quirkiness sounds kinda fun and silly. Be gentle, maybe a little more loving than usual with him and it should go well.

The bunny is a good metaphor on how to handle him. Consider the proper care and feeding of bunnies.

I never had a bunny before but I had friends who had them as pets and did my fair share of bunny sitting.

When you the INTP are with a real bunny a different side of yourself comes out. First it usually starts with me looking around to see if anyone is watching. (I had a 'tough guy' ISTP friend who had a warren of rabbits regularly visit him and we would get a kick at watching the transformation of a cold hard hitting SOB to a gentle bunny lover, which would crack us up.)

Then one makes slow movements to toward the bunny and talks softly. I then give it some food, it hops towards me and I watch it eat while making pleasant dinner conversation.

Followed by putting in on my chest and start doting and petting it while both daydreaming in the sun and observing it . And when I notice it poops on me I scold it gently in a contrived light serious tone.

Don't worry he won't be a bunny forever. Just enjoy it while it lasts as a unique experience. Normal people are boring anyways.

 

[CrystalViolet]

OMG, that so cute. Even your reaction's cute. INTP's are good to have around. They make me think (i.e. frame my thoughts in much more logical manner). There's also a mutual respect between the two I find refreshing, plus you guys don't do chit chat either, which is a relief. INTP's also generally don't use me as an emotional dumping ground either, which makes your friendship a vacation of sorts.
The best thing though, is if there is an off beat topic (usually of a scientific nature for me) that you are pretty sure no one else is interested in, the INTP's I've known, are usually the only other people I know who, either have heard about it and want to know more, or done way more research than you have and want to share.

 

[Chunes]

lol, that's the cutest thing I've ever heard. ^.^

INTPs have this adorable obliviousness when it comes to relationships that makes you just want to jump 'em.

 

[goodgrief]

The bunny is a good metaphor on how to handle him. Consider the proper care and feeding of bunnies.

Lot's of carrots. That is the key to a healthy INFP INTP relationship.

 

[Eruca]

Well that is pretty cute, but am I the only one who relates bunnies to promiscuity? If this guy came up to me and said he felt like a bunny much of the time, I would take it as him saying he is constantly horny and ready to breed.

I feel like I have soiled this pure thread with my comment.

 

[JAVO]

My wife is likely iNFP (or eNFP). Things are going well after being married for 16 years. Be patient and understanding of your feeling vs. thinking differences, and things will go well. Use Ne to help overcome the differences and to keep your relationship dynamic so that it changes as both of you change.

 

[marquix]

What can I say? Well, my surviving girl is an INFP. She's become the mother of my second daughter and she is in it for the long haul, whatever that may be, since I'm still not sure I can get enough excitement in my later years.

I've been with her for about 5 years, with several relationships in the mix. She is a person I want in my life, forever, but I'm also willing to let her go if I'm not in her best interest in the long term. It's very difficult for me because I see her value but also want to be true to my desire for more adventures, love stories, journeys and believe it or not, kids !

INFP's are very loving and I sincerely believe they can be very loyal if that is what you are looking for. In my case, I'm not necessarily looking for loyalty but rather a well rounded person that has it all.

Enjoy but be aware that you are getting involved with a super sensitive person who according to this profile:

http://www.purdue.edu/usp/pdfs/mbtiresources/INFP.pdf

They take love super seriously !!

I also think you should take into consideration, since your relationship is inversed (male INFP to female INTP), that he has his ducks in a row with regard to the financial outlook in life going long term. The issue coming from my end, as an INTP male as everyone knows has major procrastination issues. They seem to have compounded because of the INFP's latchiness to some extent. At times it may even appear that they are not latching at all but as an insightful INTP you'll soon discover that the real case is they are waiting and placing all their chips on you.

Take it seriously, as you have and my advice would be to bring clarity to your outlook on life and how you see the world. They can easily take this in and then decide if they want to risk their time with you.

Good luck, I've left mine to destiny, refused to marry and keep convincing myself day after week, after month that it's all about the good times you spend anyway so why complicate things anymore.

 

[OrangeAppled]

^ That just reeks of ExTP....

 

[runvardh]

Wow, I'd be tentative about how far to go. I try not to maul on first permission, as much as the temptation is there, and that's even when I'm really into the girl...

 

[tcda]

what is the "otherkin" subculture? is this something I should know about...?

 

[OrangeAppled]

what is the "otherkin" subculture? is this something I should know about...?

I was scared to ask....I assumed it was something like "furries".