[INTP] need help with a girl (I'm INTP)

[think2much]

ahhh some of the feedback doesn't help with this situation.

I want to meet up with her. Should I ask this via txt? what are the things I can do with her?

Last thing I want is to be in the "friend zone", so far from what I'm seeing she's attracted to me and I want to keep it that way. When we hang out should I go for the kiss? or what other ways can she get a hint that I want her more than a friend?

 

[Shimmy]

I dont' want to annoy her with 1000random questions.

Ask her what her passion is. It's a guaranteed hit to get her talking about something she likes, it also shows your interested, and it's a pretty alpha male question.

Then no matter what answer she gives, ask her what she likes about it, more talking from her side, more non-talking from your side. It's perfect.

refreshe123d I noticed you mentioned you read some material on helping you with this, if its that PUA stuff then that gigs probably not for you, its very geared towards S types attracting other S types, not that there's anything wrong with the sensor type conversation but the reason you might be boring people is you are going after the wrong type of people

Actually I got the idea I mentioned above from a documentary about an English PUA. It's a simple question which shows interest, tells you something about her and gives you the opportunity to loose yourself in her eyes for a bit.

Posts 57 and 58 don't sound like somebody I'd want a girlfriend getting involved with. Introversion doesn't put me off, wanting to know how to act nice enough to get hook-up and not having any friends, male or female makes me think there are other areas that need developing first.

I am aware that they can be quite lovely on the inside because I fell in love with a 20 year old INTP once upon a time. He was lovely. He is even more lovely now. Mine would have never just used a girl for sex because it was inconvenient to have a relationship.

This guy does not sound so lovely to me.

Hah, since after the late 60s no guy ever started talking to a girl because he wanted a relationship with her. Neurotransmitters and hormones work the other way around. First there's the sexual attraction and then there's the relationship and loyalty. Abstinence is not natural.

 

[cafe]

Hah, since after the late 60s no guy ever started talking to a girl because he wanted a relationship with her. Neurotransmitters and hormones work the other way around. First there's the sexual attraction and then there's the relationship and loyalty. Abstinence is not natural.

Was there some kind of evolutionary drop-off in the sixties?

 

[Salomé]

^LOL!

 

[Laurie]

Just a side note on the boring thing, I skimmed most of the responses. I had a friend who was determined they were boring. I talked to him in yahoo all the time and I thought he was really interesting. He was so determined he was boring he put it up as his yahoo avatar. Srsly? You are boring to YOU, not to someone who likes to talk to you. What's boring is hearing someone complain about being boring.

/soapbox

 

[Shimmy]

Was there some kind of evolutionary drop-off in the sixties?

Well, from that point onwards everybody just started shagging everybody else. Before that period people seemed to be more sexually conservative...

On the other hand, the fin de siècle wasn't that puritan either.

 

[cafe]

Well, from that point onwards everybody just started shagging everybody else. Before that period people seemed to be more sexually conservative...

On the other hand, the fin de siècle wasn't that puritan either.

I think 'everybody' might be a slight exaggeration and I don't think it's that unusual for people, even now, to be thinking in terms of a potential relationship in addition to assessing physical attraction.

 

[Shimmy]

Well, I never said guys wouldn't think about relationships. I just said that all people usually don't think about having a relationship with someone before they start dating and are attracted to each other.

 

[think2much]

ahhh some of the feedback doesn't help with this situation.

I want to meet up with her. Should I ask this via txt? what are the things I can do with her?

Last thing I want is to be in the "friend zone", so far from what I'm seeing she's attracted to me and I want to keep it that way. When we hang out should I go for the kiss? or what other ways can she get a hint that I want her more than a friend?

?

 

[BlackCat]

I have confidence but I don't like to flirt. She said txt me but I don't know what to txt. I wouldn't know what to do if we do "hang out". to be honest I'm a boring guy. I like to be alone almost all the time and I don't talk a lot.

I know this isn't a dating site but I can get more help by getting advice from INTP or someone who knows what kind of person I am.

What should I say to her?

Well text her and ask what time would be good for her to hang out. Suggest a movie or something... either in the theater or at her house. That's something to talk about right there, what kind of movies and media that she likes. Talk about things with her... small talk is how people establish trust with each other.

And trust me, you'll find something to do when you hang out. Even if it's just talking. You seem to have really high standards for yourself and being "boring," you want to impress her. She probably has similar thoughts.

I agree with people when they say ask questions about her. People like getting attention generally from people that they like; so ask away!

And tell her that you think she's cute. If the context is just right. That would be the perfect way to not get friend zoned; she showed interest in you so you should show some interest in her. Also if you do end up sitting on the couch or something try putting your arm on her shoulder when saying something; or if you watch a movie put your arm around her. People who get touched in any way are more likely to think about what happened when they got touched. Just do what feels right to do in the moment. If things feel right, go for a kiss.

 

[slowriot]

ahhh some of the feedback doesn't help with this situation.

I want to meet up with her. Should I ask this via txt? what are the things I can do with her?

Last thing I want is to be in the "friend zone", so far from what I'm seeing she's attracted to me and I want to keep it that way. When we hang out should I go for the kiss? or what other ways can she get a hint that I want her more than a friend?

dude if you know what being friend zoned mean you also know about the other stuff. And serious why would you ask such bonehead questions? Ever been diagnosed with schizoid disorder? I only think people with that would be so socially inadequate to ask such trivial questions. Other people that are just introverted knows stuff like this. Do you have any friends?

But an answer go with what feels best, but being a horndog will get you nowhere with most ladies. Even if she likes you. You want her to be as interested as you are in her, so work a little, do the effort that shows you are interested, but dont overdo it. Its not a monologue its a twosome you want, get a interaction going. Give a little get a little.

Well, from that point onwards everybody just started shagging everybody else. Before that period people seemed to be more sexually conservative...

On the other hand, the fin de siècle wasn't that puritan either.

Can you put up data supporting your claim that it just boosted in the 60's? There have been horndogs on the face of the earth since the first man. They just knew how to keep quiet about it, that it was socially more acceptable after the 60's is okay. But serious, stop the generalizations.

 

[digesthisickness]

while texting her, say, "i can't wait to kiss you." if she logs off, you're wiser, if not, you will be.

 

[slowriot]

while texting her, say, "i can't wait to kiss you." if she logs off, you're wiser, if not, you will be.

= :rolli: and

 

[Metamorphosis]

You're thinking too much. Be real about your intentions. If she likes you, she likes you. If she doesn't, she doesn't. Don't hang out with her and walk away feeling like her girlfriend. Remember, Jesus hates a pussy.

And btw, being direct (in the manner you meant) does work, but it requires real confidence that you probably haven't developed yet.

 

[sLiPpY]

I enjoyed the OP in that it reminded me of things guys say about meeting women:

1. When you're looking for one they're not to be found.
2. When you focus on your goals one shows up.
3. When you've got one three more show up.
4. When you loose one all four vanish and the cycle continues.

 

[Unique]

For those who think I was defending this guy, I wasn't, I was speaking very broad about what most young immature NTs are like... of course there are exceptions

Mate you seem to be asking the same questions when they have already been answered, there is no "exact script" for what to text her, you have to think of things and honestly I don't know why thats hard for an INTP creative mind, texting is where we start to shine, its the in person stuff that we have to speed up our thinking process the hard parts over, you have contact details

 

[think2much]

I met this girl ONCE and I can't STOP thinking about her..... I hate stress....


I'll sent her a direct txt. I just hope she doesn't think I'm a creep for making a bold move that fast.

EDIT: I have been direct to girls I just met before and they were like "you don;t even know me". either that or they just didn't reply back to my txt/never spoke to me ever again.

 

[1487610420]

I met this girl ONCE and I can't STOP thinking about her..... I hate stress....


I'll sent her a direct txt. I just hope she doesn't think I'm a creep for making a bold move that fast.

EDIT: I have been direct to girls I just met before and they were like "you don;t even know me". either that or they just didn't reply back to my txt/never spoke to me ever again.

Why would it be any other way? Unless they were hornbitches with zero content?

 

[ZPowers]

Good lord, did this expand from one post to six pages in the course of a single day? Perhaps I can gain a touch of social insight my utterly-can't-read-people's-signs-one-way-or-another self around here.

 

[Unique]

I met this girl ONCE and I can't STOP thinking about her..... I hate stress....


I'll sent her a direct txt. I just hope she doesn't think I'm a creep for making a bold move that fast.

EDIT: I have been direct to girls I just met before and they were like "you don;t even know me". either that or they just didn't reply back to my txt/never spoke to me ever again.

If you ever get a response like that, you are doing something very very wrong

Firstly, stop thinking about her constantly you are being ridiculous and needy

Secondly wheres your creativity man? we are the "architects" after all! Direct is great but only if its unique and interesting otherwise its just demanding

Thirdly your intentions are coming across as creepy even to the ladies on this forum, why do you think that is?

Usually people get thrown in the "creepy" basket when their intentions are unclear or devious in nature, even I'm unclear on what you are actually trying to do with this girl

My point is she shouldn't be the only one thinking "I barely know this guy" you should be thinking "I barely know this girl" as well

You are thinking WAY too far ahead