[MBTI General] N/S - 'Become one of us or STFU!'

[Asterion]

Should Intuitives have to adjust to a sensors way of thinking and vice verse?

I love to discuss ideas, philosophies, beliefs and all and I seem to have a knack for questioning things that normal people just don't give a shit about. These people often find my questions trivial, weird and unusual, and one of my friends told me that I cramp his style (that one hurt). I've asked some of these people how I should communicate with them, or how I can be 'normal', and after much thinking, they tell me that I should communicate in a manner that you could describe as sensing. These things that they want to discuss seem entirely trivial to me, just as much as my ideas seem trivial to them. In the same conversation, I tried to practice discussing things like a sensor, but it was rediculously obvious that I didn't care, it was like I was just faking it, and I was really.

So, my question is, do we learn to communicate to sensors on their level? Or do we just avoid them and talk to intuitives? What happens when there are intuitives and sensors in the same room? Would you talk sensory, or intuitively?

I've also discovered that I often initiate conversations in order to push them in an intuitive direction... Is there something wrong with that? I think it would introduce some balance if I could ocassionaly pick out a sensors topic and discuss something they'd want to... or perhaps even let them initiate

I just realized that I've heard that this has happened to other intuitives on this forum, hmmm , this certainly isn't an original thread.

 

[Loxias]

Most sensors are not 100% sensing, just like most intuitives are not 100% intuitive.
The population is not sharply separated like this.
I think it's possible to have "intuitive" type conversations with sensors, just like sensors can very well lead us in "sensor" type discussion, and unless we are mentally crippled by a way overwhelming N, we will most likely enjoy or participate usefully to the conversation.

I think we can attain a greater level of enlightenment in life when we manage to adjust to balance our natural preferences for a way or another. Talking N stuff with Ss won't hurt them, quite the opposite, and same goes the other way round.

If you are the one starting the conversation, then, the others will usually have to adapt, or they can balance the conversation with their S sight of the topic. If they are starting the conversation, you'll have to adapt, or try and insert some N into it without making it uncomfortable for the others.

 

[yvonne]

i rather discuss sensory with sensors... sometimes i initiate intuitive discussions and usually i get the "she is weird" response

i'm used to being weird, though. i have a "normal persona" i present to people... maybe it's my ESTJ/ ESFJ shadow.

 

[Lux]

Well, maybe if you tried to spin the thought of "you vs. them" it would help. Conversation is always stunted if you expect it to be.

I can talk with anyone about most things, there are some subjects I am at a loss for... But I would be at a loss with whomever I would be speaking with. I try to enjoy conversations with many kinds of people, small talky conversations bore me, but sometimes they are necessary.

Just try to find common ground. That is all anyone can do in conversation. It takes at least two to have a conversation (unless your me, and I'm making up a conversation in my head... Just kidding, I don't do that. ) so each partner can try to accommodate the other. Two people of every preference can and do have meaningful, fun conversations everyday.

 

[ajblaise]

I'm calling for Segregation!

 

[yvonne]

^ that's true. i really have had very deep conversations with sensors, as well. it's just that it takes a bit of time, because they don't really do that so often, i don't think... and then you can't drag the conversation on very long, because they're going to be like... ok, now let's quit and do something actually important, or fun.

i've found that sensors can really be very thoughtful and deep, too. they just don't prefer to "dwell on it". it's like it sort of exhausts them, the same way as small talk exhausts me.

and i'm a pretty strong N, but i still enjoy doing stuff and talking about make-up...

 

[Shimmy]

I have sensor friends that I can communicate very well with thankyouverymuch!

It can be hard talking to sensors for somebody who's as intuitive as myself, I can get on their nerves by asking them tricky and sudden questions and showing them different angles in a discussion. When a sensor gets annoyed I just end the discussion and give them a patronizing smile.

 

[Asterion]

Most sensors are not 100% sensing, just like most intuitives are not 100% intuitive.
The population is not sharply separated like this.
I think it's possible to have "intuitive" type conversations with sensors, just like sensors can very well lead us in "sensor" type discussion, and unless we are mentally crippled by a way overwhelming N, we will most likely enjoy or participate usefully to the conversation.

I think we can attain a greater level of enlightenment in life when we manage to adjust to balance our natural preferences for a way or another. Talking N stuff with Ss won't hurt them, quite the opposite, and same goes the other way round.

If you are the one starting the conversation, then, the others will usually have to adapt, or they can balance the conversation with their S sight of the topic. If they are starting the conversation, you'll have to adapt, or try and insert some N into it without making it uncomfortable for the others.

I'm thinking that anyone can consider a sensors idea, or an intuitives idea and discuss such things equally, however they ultimately have a preference for one or the other, and in that way, there is a concrete split between sensors and intuitives. You need both for balance though, and if you do, you get the best of both worlds, just as you say.

I just find it interesting that the intuitive way is inherently weird, and the sensors way is normal. It would be cool if you could even it out somehow, weirdness is such a negative term.

i rather discuss sensory with sensors... sometimes i initiate intuitive discussions and usually i get the "she is weird" response

i'm used to being weird, though. i have a "normal persona" i present to people... maybe it's my ESTJ/ ESFJ shadow.

Do you find it difficult to do that?

 

[JocktheMotie]

Get them high.

Problem solved.

 

[miss fortune]

I've never had issues discussing iNtuitive topics with intuitives... I may put a different spin on the issue, or word my answer differently, but it doesn't mean that I don't understand it...

however, if someone (and Ss can be just as bad about this... my ESTJ friend is THE WORST) types a wall of text I occasionally glaze over... I don't have the attention span for an unbroken paragraph- that's ADHD though, not S

I think that most people are a lot closer to the S/N dividing line than they recognize though (I could elaborate on testing biases, but I will save that for another thread someday), so as long as you make the topic relevant to the listener, you should be able to pick up the smarter members of either type (and some of the dummies who think that they're smart)

 

[Randomnity]

errr...are you not an istp? I'm confused. Maybe I have you mixed up with someone else.

re: the op, I have never run into these kinds of problems in rl, only here (and even there it's a personality thing not an N thing since the vast majority of the Ns here are reasonable people).

 

[miss fortune]

errr...are you not an istp? I'm confused. Maybe I have you mixed up with someone else.

re: the op, I have never run into these kinds of problems in rl, only here (and even there it's a personality thing not an N thing since the vast majority of the Ns here are reasonable people).

oh yes! you brought up something very useful there!

It seems that sensors (especially SPs) use body language a lot more in communication (or at least reading the body language of others) than intuitives do- this could lead to some unintentional communications barriers over the internet on both parts Communication in real life is signifigantly easier to interpret because you can read clues

(which is why I value the emoticon )

 

[Asterion]

It's usually the case that there is a large group of people talking about one topic and a few people are sitting on the outside thinking "wtf? this topic is rediculous" or "wtf? this is just boring". I can't help but want to include them in the discussion somehow, but it seems like they're not designed to fit in like pieces of a puzzle :\

 

[yvonne]

Do you find it difficult to do that?

well, not really... but i need to retreat afterwards, or come online to discuss with intuitives for a while to recharge.

i only have one close friend with whom i keep contact with regularly who is an N and i usually feel relieved after talking to her... i need someone in my life who isn't going to be exhausted by my thoughts.

i do get what whatever is saying, though. sometimes a sensor's approach to an issue is very refreshing and grounding for me... and sometimes sensors are also interested in hearing my ramblings

 

[miss fortune]

It's usually the case that there is a large group of people talking about one topic and a few people are sitting on the outside thinking "wtf? this topic is rediculous" or "wtf? this is just boring". I can't help but want to include them in the discussion somehow, but it seems like they're not designed to fit in like pieces of a puzzle :\

you'll run into that with either Ss or Ns...

some sensors on the site feel more comfortable hanging out in the arthouse than anywhere else because of hostility expressed by some members towards their ability to reason

give a few examples or make the question relevant to real life and then it will become practical and more people of either type will be interested in it- I know that there's a large number of intuitives who aren't philosophically inclined unless you're speaking of a relevant situation even

(I try and make the question relevant in my answers usually, partially because I like telling stories, partially because it can be a helpful device in framing the question!)

 

[Asterion]

well, not really... but i need to retreat afterwards, or come online to discuss with intuitives for a while to recharge.

i only have one close friend with whom i keep contact with regularly who is an N and i usually feel relieved after talking to her... i need someone in my life who isn't going to be exhausted by my thoughts.

i do get what whatever is saying, though. sometimes a sensor's approach to an issue is very refreshing and grounding for me... and sometimes sensors are also interested in hearing my ramblings

Thanks, I have no doubt now that it's just a simple matter of balance.