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[MBTI General] Jerk or opposite personality?

ObeyBunny

New member
Joined
Mar 8, 2010
Messages
573
MBTI Type
INTJ
Hey, there. I’m a very new member, so please forgive me if I don’t understand the terminology and ask to have even the most basic principals of Tipe-ology explained to me.

+++

Well, anyway, On to my question:

How can you tell the difference between a person who is an a**-hole, and someone who is the exact opposite personality type as you?

(I’m asking this because I think I know 2 ESFP’s and one of them is [almost] a close friend of mine, the other is a manipulative jerk)

Thank you.
 

ThatsWhatHeSaid

Well-known member
Joined
May 11, 2007
Messages
7,263
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
How do you define asshole? And why do you assume asshole and opposite type are exclusive?
 

BlackCat

Shaman
Joined
Nov 19, 2008
Messages
7,038
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Jerks are just... jerks. An opposite type won't always be an asshole to you, type doesn't really define that. Opposite type just means opposite ways of seeing the world. This doesn't mean you automatically don't get along. In fact, two of my cousins are an INTJ and an ESFP, and they are pretty much best friends. There are a lot of ESFP and INTJ relationships reported too... it's not a type thing.

Manipulative jerks can be any type. However, type may explain HOW someone is manipulative and HOW they may be a jerk.
 

Katsuni

Priestess Of Syrinx
Joined
Aug 22, 2009
Messages
1,238
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
3w4?
Being a jerk is independant of type; some types are more prone to being VIEWED as being jerks... but it doesn't mean they actually ARE.

For example, an ENTP will, in most cases, enjoy debate/arguing for the sake of doing so, and will often play devil's advocate against their own beliefs just so they have an excuse to argue about something. This can be viewed as being a jerk, but it's just entertainment to them.

An ESFJ may be very strict in their morals and emotional beliefs, and want to enforce those beliefs upon everyone else despite having no evidence to back such beliefs up; another ESFJ may be far more accomodating of others' beliefs, or grounded in reality.

It's not a distinct clear line of "ZOMG U R TEH SUK" but, rather, that there are people who are 'healthy' (ie they know how their mind works to a degree and temper their negative points a bit), and there're those that're 'unhealthy' (who will just be jerks regardless of type, for a variety of reasons).

Even among a single type, there's a wide range of people... supposedly "Thatgirl" is an ENTP, she acts nothing like I do though. There's alot of differences in how people go about certain things, and type only gives a vague indication of the reasons for doing the things yeu do, and there's other factors which can contribute as well.

Biggest thing I have to warn yeu against, is taking MBTI as flat out absolute truth, or set in stone. It's a vague reference guide at best. It shows generalistic tendencies of people and categorizes them based upon such. There's obviously NOT 16 people in the world and the rest are just identical clones of each other. Everyone has subtle nuances and differences; technically yeur 'type' shouldn't change over time, nor with experience. Yeu may forcibly change yeurself to fit a certain type, but its' not yeur innate preference by default. This means that there'll be many factors which change how yeur type is affected by adverse conditions, from personal experience, memories, current situations, and so on.

If yeu want to get a more rounded idea, try combining enneagram with mbti, since the two basically measure almost entirely different criteria; a 7w6 entp is significantly different in how they think and act, from a 4w3 entp, despite that both are entp's.

MBTI shows how yeu process information yeu receive, basically, while enneagram shows whot yeur base motivations are behind most things yeu do. These're very distinctive differences, and of the two, MBTI is probably the least accurate for identifying a 'jerk'.
 

ObeyBunny

New member
Joined
Mar 8, 2010
Messages
573
MBTI Type
INTJ
What I meant...

How do you define asshole?
During a peer review, my English teacher (the jerk I was talking about) led the students who were evaluating other student’s papers to insult the writers themselves. (Example: during the 10 minute lecture while he was introducing the activity, he proposed the question “What impression do you get from reading the paper? Does the writer strike you as a bitch?”) As apposed to guiding them to critique papers based on the merits of the paper it self.

(and some students did get “you sound like a privileged teenager” written in the margins of their papers. )

And why do you assume asshole and opposite type are exclusive?

When I think about English teacher, I can easily pin him down as an “ES”. Considering that he constantly changes the schedule on the syllabus, I assume he is a “P.” And he also keeps mentioning that there isn’t enough emotion in any of the student’s papers- which makes me think “F.”

+++

I've only met 2 ESFP's in my life. One is my English teacher, the other is one of the most enjoyable people to hang out with I've ever met.
 

Shimmy

New member
Joined
Jun 9, 2009
Messages
1,867
MBTI Type
SEXY
I don't believe in 'jerks', they're imaginary. Everybody believes that whatever they do will generally improve the fate of the world.

There are narcissists though, who think that everything they do should directly benefit them, because they are the most important person and what benefits them, benefits the entire world.
 

Blank

.
Joined
Mar 10, 2009
Messages
1,201
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w6
You misspelled "graffiti" in your location.
 

Valuable_Money

New member
Joined
Jun 19, 2009
Messages
679
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
5w6
I subscribe to the theory that the worst types for getting along are the same outside letters with opposite inside letters.
first take ENTP vs ENTJ
They probably wont get along together but unless they both really are complete dicks theyl realize its mostly differences in attitude not that the other person is a jerk and will simply state that they dont like the person.


now take ENTP vs ESFP

they will have a similar air about them and will at first glances will seem to be on the same wavelength. This couldnt be more wrong. ESFP makes Se observations that the ENTP doesnt agree with, ESFP tries to explain a decision from an Fi standpoint, ENTP thinks its irrational, ENTP tries to explain something with Ti ESFP thinks its coldhearted, ect ect...

you could do this with any type and produce similar results
 

fusetah

New member
Joined
Aug 20, 2009
Messages
92
MBTI Type
CAGE
I don't believe in 'jerks', they're imaginary. Everybody believes that whatever they do will generally improve the fate of the world.

There are narcissists though, who think that everything they do should directly benefit them, because they are the most important person and what benefits them, benefits the entire world.

This is not the definition, or behaviour/thinking of someone with the Narcissistic personality disorder
 

fusetah

New member
Joined
Aug 20, 2009
Messages
92
MBTI Type
CAGE
I subscribe to the theory that the worst types for getting along are the same outside letters with opposite inside letters.
first take ENTP vs ENTJ
They probably wont get along together but unless they both really are complete dicks theyl realize its mostly differences in attitude not that the other person is a jerk and will simply state that they dont like the person.


now take ENTP vs ESFP

they will have a similar air about them and will at first glances will seem to be on the same wavelength. This couldnt be more wrong. ESFP makes Se observations that the ENTP doesnt agree with, ESFP tries to explain a decision from an Fi standpoint, ENTP thinks its irrational, ENTP tries to explain something with Ti ESFP thinks its coldhearted, ect ect...

you could do this with any type and produce similar results

Or just skip the type-everything-that-moves thingy, and accept that everybody has individual values. Opposing values will cause conflict, not type per se.
 

ThatsWhatHeSaid

Well-known member
Joined
May 11, 2007
Messages
7,263
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
During a peer review, my English teacher (the jerk I was talking about) led the students who were evaluating other student’s papers to insult the writers themselves. (Example: during the 10 minute lecture while he was introducing the activity, he proposed the question “What impression do you get from reading the paper? Does the writer strike you as a bitch?”) As apposed to guiding them to critique papers based on the merits of the paper it self.

(and some students did get “you sound like a privileged teenager” written in the margins of their papers. )



When I think about English teacher, I can easily pin him down as an “ES”. Considering that he constantly changes the schedule on the syllabus, I assume he is a “P.” And he also keeps mentioning that there isn’t enough emotion in any of the student’s papers- which makes me think “F.”

+++

I've only met 2 ESFP's in my life. One is my English teacher, the other is one of the most enjoyable people to hang out with I've ever met.

The point was this: assholes are people who are selfish and put down others to get something for themselves, rather than for humor, or to help them in some way. Type is a classification of a person's dominant traits. They're not really related.

If your professor created an exercise to put other people down and elevate himself, he is an asshole. If's he's a also an Extroverted Sensing Feeling Perceiver, he also happens to qualify as an ESFP. There are infinite ways you can mentally classify people.
 

ObeyBunny

New member
Joined
Mar 8, 2010
Messages
573
MBTI Type
INTJ
Sorry, I didn't mean to instantly label someone I'm butting heads with (references to goats) as my opposite personality. I wasn't picking a fight with anyone, especially good natured ESFP's.

I honestly meant no offence.

But, uh- how do you deal with a**holes?
 

fusetah

New member
Joined
Aug 20, 2009
Messages
92
MBTI Type
CAGE
Sorry, I didn't mean to instantly label someone I'm butting heads with (references to goats) as my opposite personality. I wasn't picking a fight with anyone, especially good natured ESFP's.

I honestly meant no offence.

But, uh- how do you deal with a**holes?

Figure out why you would want to in the first place.

Then when you know why, figure out how..
 

Thalassa

Permabanned
Joined
May 3, 2009
Messages
25,183
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx
I've known people of my own type who can be jerks, so that's not always it, the opposite type thing. It's difficult to tell depending on the way you're interpreting them being a jerk. From your elaboration, he sounds like he's just a jerk.

Just from your few posts I've read from you being a n00b you seem like a creative person. I'm surprised your English teacher doesn't love you.
 

Shimmy

New member
Joined
Jun 9, 2009
Messages
1,867
MBTI Type
SEXY
This is not the definition, or behaviour/thinking of someone with the Narcissistic personality disorder

Well, you can actually be a narcissist without having narcissistic personality disorder, just like I usually have a hard time concentrating on one thing without having ADD.
 
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