[NT] INT guilt

[The Decline]

I think that INTXs have a heightened sense of morality, and that it is often applied to themselves in the form of self-doubt. I say this because I have noticed (and an INTJ has as well) feeling guilty constantly, and almost unprovoked. When there is a problem, or there is a problem possibly around the next corner, then it is automatically a failure (another key term for INTPs) of oneself for not realizing it earlier and acting on it (you let it happen).

To this day many potently vivid scenarios in the past have to do with me noticing patterns that are coming to form, and then a bad situation occurring where I could've done something but I didn't. Has anyone noticed this as well? How does one alleviate being so harsh on oneself, since it can be so crippling to overly focus on this shit?

 

[Salomé]

Becoming amoral worked for me.

 

[yvonne]

i have terrible guilt issues. i have always had them and sometimes i've thought it might be because of my childhood and me witnessing my parents arguing and blaming myself. i don't know what it is, but i've tried to learn to laugh at myself and sometimes just let it be... i can't help but feeling that way, though... feeling like if i had done this and this differently then maybe this wouldn't have happened... but maybe it goes deeper than that... i don't know. it's hard... and probably one of my biggest issues along with overthinking.

 

[Fluffywolf]

Becoming amoral worked for me.

This.

Setting priorities and principles realistically. Learning a few things about what is and isn't important. Like the fact that perfection is an ugly bitch.

I recognize greatly into the guilt thing when I was younger. But I grew over it.

 

[Totenkindly]

The guilt thing got old.
I stopped doing it.

Why?

Because I finally accepted I was human, and that my fate was in my hands... so all I had to do was my best, and do something. (Don't expect to fully understand a situation in order to act.)

And if I made a mistake, then I just had to change what I was doing.
Meanwhile, there's no shame involved... except maybe in doing NOTHING.

What's morality have to do with any of this?

EDIT: Amoral? Yup, maybe that's another way of saying it.

 

[yvonne]

i don't think you can do anything, if you're amoral? is that even possible, or desirable?

i think it's just accepting that you're not "perfect" and what jennifer said about not expecting to fully understand a situation in order to act (or sometimes not to act...).

and also realizing that sometimes you just haven't got that influence you might think you could have had...

 

[Salomé]

I was kidding!

 

[yvonne]

lol... you should have used a smiley

 

[tcda]

Depends really. I have high standards of behaviour for myself and don't live for pleasure, only for the ideal I believe in, and will reprimand myself if I wasted time on hedonism when I could have been doing something constructive.

However within that framework, I don't often feel guilty, because I believe that "the end justifies the means if there is something that justifies the end".

So I guess "guilt" isn't the word, but I do see what you mean.

 

[ajblaise]

Moral relativism works great for me. Especially since it's reality.

 

[tcda]

Moral relativism works great for me. Especially since it's reality.

I agree, and I'm a moral relativist. But why would a moral relativist be free from guilt necessarilly? I know many moral relativists who feel guilty a lot.

 

[ajblaise]

I agree, and I'm a moral relativist. But why would a moral relativist be free from guilt necessarilly? I know many moral relativists who feel guilty a lot.

Well when you toss out the imaginary absolute moral truths, and get to make up your own, guilt levels usually depreciate, I've found.

 

[yvonne]

moral relativism is true (at least to an extent)... but it doesn't remove guilt, because we have to deal with each other anyway.

 

[Salomé]

To this day many potently vivid scenarios in the past have to do with me noticing patterns that are coming to form, and then a bad situation occurring where I could've done something but I didn't. Has anyone noticed this as well? How does one alleviate being so harsh on oneself, since it can be so crippling to overly focus on this shit?

Why are you anxious to alleviate the guilt, rather than address (what you see as) the cause of the guilt, i.e. your passivity?
Sometimes guilt serves a purpose.

 

[velocity]

shame is what you're supposed to be feeling.

 

[yvonne]

a good point. it's just you can't go back to situations where you messed up. that's why the guilt/ shame... i suppose it's guilt first for me and that turns into shame.

you just have to try to learn from your mistakes. everyone makes them and admitting it is the first step to learning.

 

[velocity]

i have a heightened sense of the fluidity of morality

 

[tcda]

shame is what you're supposed to be feeling.

yes that's a better description.

 

[tcda]

Well when you toss out the imaginary absolute moral truths, and get to make up your own, guilt levels usually depreciate, I've found.

I guess I wouldn't say moral relativism="making up your own morality", but more that means and ends are relative concepts, dependent on the situation.

Moral absolutism may lead to the most basic forms of quasi-superstitious "guilt" but I think moral relativism can lead to more sophisticated forms of guilt. For example I know a lot of people who are from high socioeconomi status and are leftists, and are certainly not moral absolutist, and who feel guilt because of their privelige.

I think that kind of guilt can be a good thing if it encourages them to "switch sides" and reject their priveliges etc., and fight for a society without privelige. Once they do so, they have no more reason to feel guilty. But such a position is most liely to result from moral relativism not moral absolutism, because moral absolutism tends to blame the poor for their own situation.

 

[milkyway2]

INTx's having a heightened sense of morality??????????

No.....

Every one that I've ever talked to has the smallest sense of morality out of all people. Or none.

Personally, I don't have much at all. Some people tell me I don't really have a conscience. I realize what morals are and why they exist but I don't really care..