[NT] any nt's here NOT drawn to nf's for friendships and/or romance?

[Salomé]

^You might have something there.

 

[JustHer]

Result.

The other problem I have with NT-NT relationships is the competitiveness. Which is great in friendships where it serves to sharpen the mind and bring clarity, but it's too exhausting to maintain in romantic relationships where winning so often means losing.

Wow I did not think that sharpening the mind would be an exhaustive task for an INTP.

Personally, it just energizes me.

 

[digesthisickness]

Maybe finding it too exhausting is related to introversion. I think it's great between ENTPs and I rarely get tired of it, especially because we both know it's just a game anyway.

indeed. when the conversation is good and interesting then i feel closer to the person. it's a form of flirting/foreplay with someone attractive.

it is possible to know when to stop talking and start doing other things. there's more than one form of intimacy, and i just happen to include damn good conversation as one of them.

as a matter of fact, if i can't have a great, comfortable conversation with someone, then it's a huge red light.

the need to continue a conversation/argument/debate that's obviously stupid and/or is going nowhere is the biggest turn off.

 

[simulatedworld]

Wow I did not think that sharpening the mind would be an exhaustive task for an INTP.

Personally, it just energizes me.

I think it's sharpening the mind via interaction with others that's exhausting for them. They (and presumably INTJs as well) would rather do that alone most of the time.

 

[Salomé]

Wow I did not think that sharpening the mind would be an exhaustive task for an INTP.

Personally, it just energizes me.

Arguing can energize or it can drain depending on whether one feels one is making any progress or just splitting hairs. What it doesn't do, is make me feel romantic.

 

[digesthisickness]

my longest nonstop conversations have been with INTJs.

 

[JustHer]

I don't think anybody would disagree with you that a relationship where people are constantly splitting hairs isn't a successful one. That's just an unhealthy relationship no matter who partakes in it. I am sure most of us are talking about healthy NT-NT relationships.

 

[hermeticdancer]

Arguing can energize or it can drain depending on whether one feels one is making any progress or just splitting hairs. What it doesn't do, is make me feel romantic.

f*ing brilliant. How did you think of that?

 

[hermeticdancer]

you will see those scenes in movies where people argue, then make passionate love... Hmm...

"Can you do me a favor? Make 200 double sided copies, and mail each one individually, it's a pain but, the copiers quick, and pick up my dry cleaning...here's $25, how is your second day? Good. Huh." -ENTJ Boss
-"Uhh, sure thanks, I'll do it."-NF employee
-"GO F yourself!"-NT employee

... to be continued

 

[sammy]

indeed. when the conversation is good and interesting then i feel closer to the person. it's a form of flirting/foreplay with someone attractive.

it is possible to know when to stop talking and start doing other things. there's more than one form of intimacy, and i just happen to include damn good conversation as one of them.

as a matter of fact, if i can't have a great, comfortable conversation with someone, then it's a huge red light.

the need to continue a conversation/argument/debate that's obviously stupid and/or is going nowhere is the biggest turn off.

I can relate to all of the above. My most romantic/exhilarating moments have been with NTs. NFs have been best friends throughout my life. But without that "exhilarating" factor, it can't move to the relationship stage. Exhilarating for me, too, equates to having great, comfortable conversations that never end. I've had that with both NTs and NFs, but I do filter a little more for NFs in my life. The filtering kinda muffles the potential for exhilaration.

Arguing whether NT-NT relationships can be romantic fits into the "going nowhere" and "stupid" categories. Everyone's relationship criteria is unique to their own experiences and preferences.

Cheers.

 

[Heart&Brain]

A thread about how NTs love NTs, or at least not those sweet, tolerant, bubbly, positive NFs? And it ends in pages and pages with INTP, ENTP and ENTJ trashing eachother?

This is so wonderfully ironic.


Hmm, but it seems the INTJs stay clear of the dogfighting...?

 

[Salomé]

^I think all we really established is that ENTPs love themselves.
Which wasn't exactly news...

 

[Orangey]

Aww what happened to the derail?

 

[hermeticdancer]

I can relate to all of the above. My most romantic/exhilarating moments have been with NTs. NFs have been best friends throughout my life. But without that "exhilarating" factor, it can't move to the relationship stage. Exhilarating for me, too, equates to having great, comfortable conversations that never end. I've had that with both NTs and NFs, but I do filter a little more for NFs in my life. The filtering kinda muffles the potential for exhilaration.

Arguing whether NT-NT relationships can be romantic fits into the "going nowhere" and "stupid" categories. Everyone's relationship criteria is unique to their own experiences and preferences.

Cheers.

why do you filter... is it because you don't think they will get it? or don't want to hurt them... tell this is an interesting observation, best here.

I would agree that I filter with certain people, that say a comment that triggers me, or I percieve to be argumentative, or snarky, pushy, rude, or untrustworthy. Intimacy, and letting my guard down, is hard to do and takes time, trust, and I have to feel comfortable that the person understands me. Or can help me navigate me understanding myself, without humiliating me. I don't like feeling humiliated or pissed on in certain situations. As a lady, I'm not the competitive jocular, type.

 

[sammy]

why do you filter... is it because you don't think they will get it? or don't want to hurt them... tell this is an interesting observation, best here.

I would agree that I filter with certain people, that say a comment that triggers me, or I percieve to be argumentative, or snarky, pushy, rude, or untrustworthy. Intimacy, and letting my guard down, is hard to do and takes time, trust, and I have to feel comfortable that the person understands me. Or can help me navigate me understanding myself, without humiliating me. I don't like feeling humiliated or pissed on in certain situations. As a lady, I'm not the competitive jocular, type.

Ultimately, I don't want to hurt them, since they matter a lot to me, and their feelings matter a lot to them. I think they get hurt when they misunderstand the context of what I'm saying, especially when I'm commenting on something they've done in the past, or are currently doing (they ask a question of me, I deliver an answer -- whether they like the response or not). I try not to filter in the beginning, and test to see how far I can go with them. My experience, thus far, has taught me to be careful with F's, in general.

 

[A Schnitzel]

A thread about how NTs love NTs, or at least not those sweet, tolerant, bubbly, positive NFs? And it ends in pages and pages with INTP, ENTP and ENTJ trashing eachother?

This is so wonderfully ironic.

Trashing each other is how we show our love.
Can't you feel the tension?

 

[JustHer]

Trashing each other is how we show our love.
Can't you feel the tension?

You're an ignorant douchebag asshole.

 

[C.J.Woolf]

as a matter of fact, if i can't have a great, comfortable conversation with someone, then it's a huge red light.

For me, falling in love is something that happens in the course of a long conversation.

 

[Heart&Brain]

Trashing each other is how we show our love.
Can't you feel the tension?

Tension? What tension?


Nah, the bickering can be kinda cute for a short while, but it's not exactly my love language. So it is probably perfect that you guys aren't that drawn to NFs either. Win-win!

 

[A Schnitzel]

You're an ignorant douchebag asshole.

Shut up you arrogant bastard. Next time you speak to me, show some respect!