[NT] How strongly do you need to do things "your" way?

[cavarice]

A common dilemma in my daily life is that I have a need to figure out my own ways of doing things. It is not uncommon for me to do something that ends up contradicting a set of guidelines, or (in other contexts) pissing off someone because I'm not doing something the "right" way.

Some examples to illustrate the gist of I'm talking about:

- When I was in school (mostly in science classes, and also in english for writing assignments), I would often find myself frustrated with a method that I was supposed to use to accomplish a given task, and I would find my own way of doing something. The end result was often still good, but many teachers (with a couple of friendly exceptions) took issue with the way I wouldn't do something exactly as instructed if I thought there was an easier way.

- One of my hobbies is tinkering with/building bicycles, and all the time I find myself doing things that go against rulebooks - I experiment with things on my own (such as "proper" tire pressure being set differently for different conditions, the positioning of handlebars and how they affect how a bicycle will handle, etc) and find myself doing things that go against much of what I read/what people tell me.

Experiences like this are rampant in my life; I often find myself with a paranoid distrust of the "right" ways of doing anything. Many things that I am interested in, I find myself spending a lot of time educating myself on the topic far beyond what is needed to accomplish a task. By becoming a mini-expert I can infer a better perspective on why certain approaches were suggested and not others, and also to be able to invent some of my own.

I've left this topic deliberately vague, because this is an element of my behavior that reaches across a broad variety of contexts.

 

[capricorn009]

Doesn't seem to matter because someone else getting their rushing done so they can get back to their good day is more important like you can be having a good time then everything starts to go wrong and the first words out of their
mouths is 'there goes MY day.'

 

[teslashock]

So long as I can hold the lettuce and mayo, I'm happy.

 

[Timeless]

Depends, but I don't let my ego get in the way that much nowadays.

 

[wildcat]

A common dilemma in my daily life is that I have a need to figure out my own ways of doing things. It is not uncommon for me to do something that ends up contradicting a set of guidelines, or (in other contexts) pissing off someone because I'm not doing something the "right" way.

Some examples to illustrate the gist of I'm talking about:

- When I was in school (mostly in science classes, and also in english for writing assignments), I would often find myself frustrated with a method that I was supposed to use to accomplish a given task, and I would find my own way of doing something. The end result was often still good, but many teachers (with a couple of friendly exceptions) took issue with the way I wouldn't do something exactly as instructed if I thought there was an easier way.

- One of my hobbies is tinkering with/building bicycles, and all the time I find myself doing things that go against rulebooks - I experiment with things on my own (such as "proper" tire pressure being set differently for different conditions, the positioning of handlebars and how they affect how a bicycle will handle, etc) and find myself doing things that go against much of what I read/what people tell me.

Experiences like this are rampant in my life; I often find myself with a paranoid distrust of the "right" ways of doing anything. Many things that I am interested in, I find myself spending a lot of time educating myself on the topic far beyond what is needed to accomplish a task. By becoming a mini-expert I can infer a better perspective on why certain approaches were suggested and not others, and also to be able to invent some of my own.

I've left this topic deliberately vague, because this is an element of my behavior that reaches across a broad variety of contexts.

The way is a free passage.
It does not have a master.

Not the other.
Least of all you.

 

[tcda]

Very strongy, until I'm convinced of a better way.

 

[burymecloser]

I think this is something I do. I don't believe it's uncommon among NTs. We question the usual way of doing things, even expert opinions. I'm usually ready to adapt if someone can show conclusively that there's a better way, but they'll need to be convincing.

 

[Grungemouse]

I can relate to the English assignments bit. During high school, we were told how to intepret a piece of text, rather than encouraged to find our own theories. I tried to follow what was being set for us, but my natural mindset usually came out mid-way through an essay, where I focused less on what the teacher said and more on my own ideas. Whenever I got my assignments back, the teacher always wrote "Stick to the handouts given during the lesson". It's why I thought I hated the literature side of English. It felt like wearing blinkers. Sixth form was a lot more enjoyable, in that the teachers looked down on people who stuck to handouts and notes. University is all about using your own ideas.

My mother and I clash horribly when it comes to changing beds. She'll walk in on me wrestling with a duvet cover to put it on the duvet, and will insist that my way is making it more difficult for myself. So like an ESTJ, she walks in and "shows me how it's done", strips the duvet back off again and then watches me follow her example. I promptly ignore her and resume in doing it my way, which provokes a lot of arguments. I don't care how inefficient my way is. It's my way. I still get the job done.

Learning to drive "the right way" makes me feel vulnerable, because I'm forced in sticking to the rules, whilst I'm exposed to drivers who likely aren't. I sometimes challenge my driving instructor, while he insists, "As long as you're driving the right way, that's what matters. If they want to drive like maniacs, that's their problem". While that may be true, personally, it doesn't provide much comfort if one of those maniacs collided into me. And I can't do anything radical to prevent this possibility, because the "right way" disagrees with it.

 

[visaisahero]

I agree with wildcat, tcda and burymecloser. +1 all of you!

I need to do things the best way. An example: My guitarist is an ESFP and the two of us have a very conflicted sort of creative relationship because we both have massive egos- so the only way for one of us to get the other to accept one of our ideas is to come up with something so clearly superior that they have to give in.

Of course, I like to believe that my way is usually the best way because I tend to put a lot of thought into it and he tends to just wing whatever random idiosyncrasies he has- but time and again he has surprised me with creative and unique ideas that add value to our music. I enjoy that.

I find that this applies to life in general as well. If you take the time to appraise and appreciate others' ideas and perspectives, you will often find that there is value and sense in them as well- and often you can find a way to have the best of both worlds- which is ultimately what being an NT should be about, isn't it?

 

[tinkerbell]

i think most NT are looking for efficient solutions.... so long as someone else's solution is good the wilk go with it...but if they think they can see a better way then its...I'll do it myself...except Taureans who are.... you want to do it... knock yourself out

 

[JHBowden]

How strongly do you need to do things "your" way?

I'm more like the Borg. If someone has a better idea than I do, then it gets assimilated.

Considerations of authenticity or inauthenticity aren't factors for me. Take the path of least resistance!

 

[PeaceBaby]

^ after all, resistance is futile ...

 

[JustHer]

I don't really care about things going my way, it depends on the situation. I have no problem following set procedures, and I'm pretty good at it. I just won't take responsibility for a stupid method, and will probably make it known that I dont think that method is efficient.

 

[ThatGirl]

I don't really care about things going my way, it depends on the situation. I have no problem following set procedures, and I'm pretty good at it. I just won't take responsibility for a stupid method, and will probably make it known that I don't think that method is efficient.

Wow, I actually agree with this. Things don't HAVE to be my way. I can maneuver through a system by going on auto piolet until the task is done, if I need to. However I will not become invested at all in the task at hand, and will bail at the first opportunity to switch to a situation where I either have a say or it is better constructed. Basically I will think everything I am doing while in the situation is crap. I will not take compliments on anything, and will bitch about how it could be a lot better.

 

[theadoor]

Wow, I actually agree with this. Things don't HAVE to be my way. I can maneuver through a system by going on auto piolet until the task is done, if I need to. However I will not become invested at all in the task at hand, and will bail at the first opportunity to switch to a situation where I either have a say or it is better constructed. Basically I will think everything I am doing while in the situation is crap. I will not take compliments on anything, and will bitch about how it could be a lot better.

I see myself here.

 

[INTP]

Very strongy, until I'm convinced of a better way.

this. and its usually really hard to convince me

 

[Halla74]

Is there any other way?
My Dad taught me this:

"There is one right way. MINE."

My Dad's business partner's organizational chart, which will be adopted for use at Alex, Inc.:

If I'm footing the bill, must use the end product, and am responsible for its functionality, then step aside, it's my gig.

 

[visaisahero]

^
There's a reason why musicians record with producers, and writers have editors- because no matter how good you think something is, you will always benefit from the perspective of people who are more experienced than you, or simply have alternative views.

The large man who stands alone is dwarfed by he who stands on the shoulders of giants. If you honestly think your way is always the best way, you're missing out. It's arrogant, conceited and ignorant to honestly believe that there is no way that something can be better- if you think that there's nobody around you who is good enough, you're not looking hard enough.

 

[Katsuni]

I'm pretty firm about it really, after all, my way IS the right way.

 

[Jaguar]

I'm pretty firm about it really, after all, my way IS the right way.

Yeu are a funny woman.