hermeticdancer
New member
- Joined
- Oct 9, 2008
- Messages
- 209
- MBTI Type
- eNFp
- Enneagram
- 4
Thanks for the advice. Actually I feel much better, I am starting to think about how to be more rational in and not take things so personally. I will not be joining debate but there were a few instances recently where I felt myselft starting to respond to criticism as an attack, then I said to myself... ok respond in a logical way... and I actually got the validation I needed from the person! Who was my dad actually. An INTJ.
So if anything comes from this dating, that is so far I feel more empowered, which is what I want. Although I am still letting him make the moves, and call me. I don't want to come on too strong. And I want to do more stuff with him, I don't just want to talk about the "relationship" all the time, that is boring after a while. So I guess I am just anxious at the level that i can make him satisfied still, in other words, stimulate him intellectually, i fell like I have to be this great person with some special talent. But my mind tells me, that is not right. I just want to understand him completely, I'm kinda thinking what can I get out of this? What can I learn about this person, and also maybe have him help me, almost like a benefit relation... I don't know if that is healthy or natural or not...
He just got out of a marriage several years ago, and then a rela. w/ a lady my age was quote very in love with. It didn't work because, it quote wasnt meant to be.
?
I just get concerned with that. Ohh well. There are reasons, why, I am very observant, as well as suspicious of men, and I am rarely wrong in my assumptions. I understand everyone lies to make social nice. I have too. So that is why I don't blindly trust, or call someone out on BS, that is still an assumption. In other words, they are not being honest with me or I caught them in a lie. (I think he faked one on me in bed) I can see though it with him. I think it is fear of, or just lack of ability to connect emotionally, or just lack of interest. The matter has been resolved, thanks to my service. But that is enough about that. Some of his responses seemed cheesy and contrived, not authentic.
So if anything comes from this dating, that is so far I feel more empowered, which is what I want. Although I am still letting him make the moves, and call me. I don't want to come on too strong. And I want to do more stuff with him, I don't just want to talk about the "relationship" all the time, that is boring after a while. So I guess I am just anxious at the level that i can make him satisfied still, in other words, stimulate him intellectually, i fell like I have to be this great person with some special talent. But my mind tells me, that is not right. I just want to understand him completely, I'm kinda thinking what can I get out of this? What can I learn about this person, and also maybe have him help me, almost like a benefit relation... I don't know if that is healthy or natural or not...
He just got out of a marriage several years ago, and then a rela. w/ a lady my age was quote very in love with. It didn't work because, it quote wasnt meant to be.
?
I just get concerned with that. Ohh well. There are reasons, why, I am very observant, as well as suspicious of men, and I am rarely wrong in my assumptions. I understand everyone lies to make social nice. I have too. So that is why I don't blindly trust, or call someone out on BS, that is still an assumption. In other words, they are not being honest with me or I caught them in a lie. (I think he faked one on me in bed) I can see though it with him. I think it is fear of, or just lack of ability to connect emotionally, or just lack of interest. The matter has been resolved, thanks to my service. But that is enough about that. Some of his responses seemed cheesy and contrived, not authentic.
