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[INTP] INTp relationships with other NT types

alakazam

New member
Joined
Jan 12, 2010
Messages
237
MBTI Type
INTx
Enneagram
5
Hi all,

I was wondering what experiences other male INTPs have had in relationships with other female NTs, specifically those with the same hobbies/interests/careers.

(Yes, I know we generally have similar hobbies/interests/careers, but there are differences... so I'm specifying that we have hobbies/interests/careers in which we can work together)


I know that much research says that NTs and NFs make the best partners (and, conversely, SPs and SJs) because of their similar abstract thinking but opposite tool usage; but, in the college dating/relationship scene, I personally find idealists to be too... well... Idealist-ist. (there just is no right word for that!) They drive me absolutely crazy. I know that mature Idealists are much better, but this doesn't help in college.


But, back to the topic: I'd appreciate advice/anecdotes about INTP relationships with other NTs and how they turned out.

(Also: where do you find NT girls? Feel free to answer the infinitely easier question above first.)
 

Kasper

Diabolical
Joined
May 30, 2008
Messages
11,590
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
I know that much research says that NTs and NFs make the best partners (and, conversely, SPs and SJs) because of their similar abstract thinking but opposite tool usage; but, in the college dating/relationship scene, I personally find idealists to be too... well... Idealist-ist. (there just is no right word for that!) They drive me absolutely crazy. I know that mature Idealists are much better, but this doesn't help in college.

Is there someone on your mind? If there isn't then don't focus too heavily on what type you want the girl to be and don't pay attention to 'research' that says what is best, it's all theory and speculation. If you meet a NT girl that you're into then you'll have just as good a shot at making something work as you would with a NF gal.


(Also: where do you find NT girls? Feel free to answer the infinitely easier question above first.)

MBTI forums ;)
 

alakazam

New member
Joined
Jan 12, 2010
Messages
237
MBTI Type
INTx
Enneagram
5
MBTI forums ;)

Um. I think I'll forgive that 100% hilariously useless answer since it's something I'd say as well! :)



Since I'm on the border between P and J, I've found that I use Thinking and Intuition both introvertedly and extrovertedly... so, MBTI gives my T core something to do with the intuitive perceptions of other people; naturally, I'm not going "I don't like NFs," I go "I don't like idealists."

"NF" provided a way to link that to research and to more easily explain on this forum about whom I'm talking.
 

Oeufa

New member
Joined
Jan 5, 2010
Messages
694
MBTI Type
INTP
Hi all,
I'd appreciate advice/anecdotes about INTP relationships with other NTs and how they turned out.

Haven't had any relationships with other NTs yet but I do think it would be a very interesting combination. Perhaps an ENTJ - the E to get me out more and the J to make sure stuff gets done :tongue:.


(Also: where do you find NT girls? Feel free to answer the infinitely easier question above first.)

:hi:
 

Grungemouse

Widdles in your cream.
Joined
Feb 5, 2008
Messages
577
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5
I dated an INTJ for a bit. No flirting, game-playing or other conventions you would expect. We basically talked for a bit and when she decided that I was worth considering, she asked for my email and if I would like to see a movie. Not soon after, we kind of fell part as neither of us were proactive in keeping contact. Both parties lost interest and moved on. Nothing major.

Personally, I prefer SFJ types to NFs. But that's from personal experience. Currently with an SP, which can be a little frustrating at times, with their short-sightedness. I don't think I would want to pursue an NT type for anything further than platonic in the future, but I'm open to be swayed. I do like some degree of balance in a relationship, or at least someone who is happy to initiate the romantic drivel that comes with being in one. NTJ types aren't known for their affectionate nature in relationships, and I do like a nice snuggle on the sofa. Show me an INTJ who loves to spoon and I'm theirs. :D
 

Kasper

Diabolical
Joined
May 30, 2008
Messages
11,590
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
Um. I think I'll forgive that 100% hilariously useless answer since it's something I'd say as well! :)

Oh, you thought I was joking =/
 

Memphis

New member
Joined
Dec 12, 2009
Messages
76
ENTJ + INTP is really rewarding. Long take-off run, but seriously rewarding if you like us enough to stick it out through the first chapters.

I've also seen ENTPs be a successful match for INTPs.
 

Unique

New member
Joined
Oct 14, 2008
Messages
1,702
Hi all,

I was wondering what experiences other male INTPs have had in relationships with other female NTs, specifically those with the same hobbies/interests/careers.

(Yes, I know we generally have similar hobbies/interests/careers, but there are differences... so I'm specifying that we have hobbies/interests/careers in which we can work together)


I know that much research says that NTs and NFs make the best partners (and, conversely, SPs and SJs) because of their similar abstract thinking but opposite tool usage; but, in the college dating/relationship scene, I personally find idealists to be too... well... Idealist-ist. (there just is no right word for that!) They drive me absolutely crazy. I know that mature Idealists are much better, but this doesn't help in college.


But, back to the topic: I'd appreciate advice/anecdotes about INTP relationships with other NTs and how they turned out.

(Also: where do you find NT girls? Feel free to answer the infinitely easier question above first.)

Dw I'm the exact same way with NFs, personally I think the theory of NF + NT is way waaay off

I've also been thinking maybe ENTJ for romantic interest

I'm curious as to why everyone usually says ENTP/INTP can't work either

I've tried the whole NF thing, it didn't work out for me so I've been looking for another NT though if you are male looking for female it may be a long wait
 

Bri

New member
Joined
Jan 5, 2010
Messages
106
MBTI Type
INTJ
NTJ types aren't known for their affectionate nature in relationships, and I do like a nice snuggle on the sofa. Show me an INTJ who loves to spoon and I'm theirs. :D
If an INTJ decides to make relationships one of their 'things to improve' then you'll have a much better experience. Other than that, it's all in the approach. It takes a little more work to get our minds into that 'cuddle time' mode, but once we're there it's fun for all involved. :)

Anyway, my husband is an INTP. We met via an online personal ad roughly 10 years ago. (I answered his ad.) I imagine there were fewer people online then though, so the instance of NT women was likely to have been proportionally higher since computer stuff appeals to many of us.
 

Antimony

You're fired. Lol.
Joined
Jun 11, 2009
Messages
3,428
MBTI Type
ESTP
Enneagram
8w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I dated an INTP once. It was all nice and he was very sweet (I almost typed him as an INFP, actually) but one day he randomly closed off, and I didn't pursue.

I have read that the thing with NTs and NTs is that they need to meet each other halfway. Well...I didn't do that when he just randomly shut down. He was really anti-social.
 

JustHer

Pumpernickel
Joined
Aug 7, 2009
Messages
1,954
MBTI Type
ENTJ
As far as NT pairing goes, I think they all make sense except the I/I one and the E/E one. I think both ENTJ and ENTP are good for INTPs.


NTJ types aren't known for their affectionate nature in relationships

That's not very true at all. Not only am I one of the most affectionate people I know, but the INTJs I know are even more so. They're really like big babies when the tertiary Fi comes out. But maybe you have to be another NTJ to see it and know what it is.
 

human101

Member
Joined
Nov 2, 2009
Messages
510
MBTI Type
NiTe
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sx
i have a ENTJ friend who made her esfp boyfriend cry at college infront of everyone in the common room she was blatantly the dominant one in the relationship, but i think NTJs can be affectionate but their idea of affection is just talking to someone a lot rather than being very intimate, you wouldn't be able to tell they were a couple just seemed liked friends and he couldn't handle that.

the same female i speak of also said sex is a chore lol
 

JocktheMotie

Habitual Fi LineStepper
Joined
Nov 20, 2008
Messages
8,491
Maybe they develop their Fi as they mature, or the INTJ I dated just wasn't that into me. *shrug*

I don't know about this. Beyond the rough exterior, I've found ETJs to be quite compassionate. But most of them are Ss. Mine in particular, I can [and unfortunately do] offend pretty easily. Something as seemingly innocuous as buying myself a new phone, and thus replacing one she had given me as a gift, can make her feel bad. She is quite mushy and appreciates sentimentality very much.

But this is all anecdotal so I don't know how valid it is in regards to the theory.
 

Nighthawk

New member
Joined
May 23, 2007
Messages
423
MBTI Type
INTP
I've been in relationships with ENTJs on two occasions. There was a great abstract connection in both instances, and we really clicked well. As the relationships progressed though, I felt as though they were trying to dominate me and call all the shots. Like a typical INTP, I want to be neither a leader nor a follower. They also wanted to evaluated our relationship at every point, analyzing it in great detail. It became a bit too intense for me and I retreated ... in typical INTP fashion. That led to anger and resentment from them and the relationships fizzled.

I've also been close to an INTP woman and I could have seen myself having a relationship with her. Both of us were spoken for at the time however, so it wasn't a possiblitliy.
 

JocktheMotie

Habitual Fi LineStepper
Joined
Nov 20, 2008
Messages
8,491
I've been in relationships with ENTJs on two occasions. There was a great abstract connection in both instances, and we really clicked well. As the relationships progressed though, I felt as though they were trying to dominate me and call all the shots. Like a typical INTP, I want to be neither a leader nor a follower. They also wanted to evaluated our relationship at every point, analyzing it in great detail. It became a bit too intense for me and I retreated ... in typical INTP fashion. That led to anger and resentment from them and the relationships fizzled.

I've also been close to an INTP woman and I could have seen myself having a relationship with her. Both of us were spoken for at the time however, so it wasn't a possiblitliy.

I'd say that this is line that will most likely be straddled throughout an INTP+ENTJ relationship, other than themselves [I'm sorry I couldn't resist :cheese: ]. While I don't personally mind being led, I do mind being told what to do. If I sense any kind of coercion or loss of independence I will automatically resist, even if it's the wrong thing to do.

the same female i speak of also said sex is a chore lol

While not a chore, I do notice that sex seems to be the first thing to "go" when they get busy, stressed, etc. Seen this with my SO and another ENTJ+INTP couple on here.

And really, when is a Te-dom NOT busy? :(
 

alakazam

New member
Joined
Jan 12, 2010
Messages
237
MBTI Type
INTx
Enneagram
5
Wow, I was not expecting this kind of a response. I think this is my new favorite online forum!

Interesting... From what I've seen on a lot of other threads (since posting this) is that a lot of NTs like either SJ types, or ENTx types.

Anyone here marry one a long time ago and are still married to them?
 

Matthew_Z

That chalkboard guy
Joined
Jun 15, 2009
Messages
1,256
MBTI Type
xxxx
For whatever reason, 90% of people I get interested in MBTI enough to type themselves end up as an F. Ts seem harder to find.

I almost got in a relationship with an INTP female once, but she detests the notion of being anything other than single.
 
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